The Whole Truth: Mirror Image

This is my second post in my Whole Truth series, which is focusing on wisdom and self-awareness that I have gained through my life.

When was the last time that you looked at yourself in the mirror? I mean, really looked? Not just the quick check to make that your hair was straight, or that you wiped the ketchup off from the corner of your mouth, or that there is nothing stuck in between your teeth. When was the last time that you looked into the mirror to see yourself, as you are today?

I have to admit I do not do this very often myself. Even though I have taken many step ins my journey of personal development and classes that have told me to do this very thing. Frequently. Look at myself in the mirror for at least 60 seconds uninterrupted, without and judgement, just look at the image being reflected back to me.

I know why I am supposed to do it, and I also know why I don't do it. Most of the reasons why aren't reasons at all, but excuses. I don't have the time. I'm too busy. I know who I am. It's a silly thing to do. If I am being honest with myself, the main reason that I don't do this is because it is uncomfortable. I don't like taking the time to see me as I really am.

I have 2 great examples of this. First, although I am approaching half a century of living on this planet we call Earth (and definitely faster than I might like), my head tells me most of the time that I am still around 25. Why 25? Maybe because I felt I was in my prime years. But if I look at this rationally and logically, it does not make much sense that I seem to discount almost half of my life. But this is my default "age" when I consider how much I have experienced and matured.

The other example relates to my looks. I have never been in any kind of beauty contest, nor really had a great deal of attention paid to me because of my appearance. I suppose I would say if I had to, that I am average to maybe slightly above in that category. In reality. In my internal perception of myself though, well that is a different matter.

My reflex and instinct takes me back to the most awkward phase of my life, being an early teenager with glasses that had frames too large for my face, acne, and probably around the time of my sudden growth spurt where I was gangly and uncoordinated. That is my default view of who I feel that I project to the world far too often. And again, not my current reality.

So given that I have at least these two deeply anchored self-images, why would I want to take the time for a long hard look in the mirror at the person I am today. I already know, and don't need to challenge that. But then again, maybe that is the point of the exercise?

My life, my being, is much more complex than I tend to give it credit. My ego likes to boil things down into simple terms, and prefers to reinforce well-instilled beliefs than challenge them with new information. Habit is comfortable, change is not.

The mirror is not the only reflection that I have to determine who I am. There are many people in my life who have a much different perspective than me. Am I using them as well to review who I have become, the progress I have made, the improvements that have been integrated into my person?

In order to truly be self-accepting, I need to improve my self-awareness, and that means looking to multiple sources to get the most honest and accurate review of who I am. And it can start with those 60-second stares in the mirror, or an open and honest conversation with someone I trust. I am worth it. And so are you.

Scott Stewart

January 18, 2022