The Psychology Behind Your Searches Is Interesting

Why are we always seeking something more? It's not as superficial as you think!

Whether you’re opening a new browser tab, changing your career trajectory, wasting hours scrolling social media, or aimlessly wandering down a news street, people are forever in pursuit. We spend a large portion of our lives chasing the next milestone, relationship, or status-symbol possession.

Beneath all these goals, there lies one universal question. What are we searching for?

When you look at psychological and neuroscientific research, they suggest our need to pursue things looks superficially diverse. Underneath, human desires are driven by both shared neurological wiring and a universal psychological need.

The Dopamine Reward:

When you think about desire, it’s easily assumed that the goal is the reward. Whether it’s getting that big promotion, buying that 100-inch television for the mancave, or finishing a project, there’s a different reality beyond the reward.

The chemical release in the body when we are excited about a reward helps to drive us. Dopamine is responsible for all the endless wanting we do, not the satisfaction.

Once we have what we want, dopamine goes back to normal. It’s the same effect a junkie has when they shoot up with heroin. You become addicted to the higher level of dopamine; thus, you’re always wanting more. It’s that crash off the dopamine that leaves you wired to be a seeker.

Three Needs Fueling Your Desires

In the modern era, goals range from amassing wealth to recognition. According to Self-Determination Theory, humans’ motivations come down to essentially three core needs.

• Autonomy (Control of our Destinies): We look for the freedom to write our own stories. Take people who are chasing wealth or career flexibility as an example. They don’t focus on numbers on a screen. They’re looking for control over their daily lives and the choices they have to make.

• Competence (Proficiency and Growth): We all desire to feel capable. It is where the desire to learn, build, solve problems, or master a skill gives a person a sense of self-efficacy. Those are things that passive use of things can fully satisfy.

• Sense of Belonging and Significance: As social animals, we pursue status symbols, awards, and the aesthetics of a good life. But indirectly, those are all synonymous with acceptance, connection, and the feeling that we matter to other people.

Finding A Deeper Meaning (Instead of always searching)

If psychologists and neuroscientists are right, and the brain is hardwired this way, how do we escape the cycle of being chronically dissatisfied?

• Beware of the anticipation trap: Be aware of your behavior, and recognize when that anticipation or Dopamine reaction is pushing you to compulsive seeking versus activities that bring you lasting peace.

• Stay focused on real goals: Things like personal growth, relationships, and community have been shown to create lasting well-being. Chasing after more superficial goals can often lead to increased stress and anxiety.

• Build your presence over your pursuits: There’s an antidote for what you’re dealing with if you’re spending too much time focused on superficial goals. It’s to develop the ability to appreciate what you already have and focus less on what you want.

Takeaways

Everybody is searching for something. But if you look across the genres, generations, and cultures, we aren’t that different. It’s not simply about tangible objects or accolades.

People need connection. They want autonomy, or the freedom to live their lives. And we all desire a sense that our existence in the world matters.

To get control over the endless need to search and explore, we have to understand that our desires are only to point us toward what we need. They point toward our inner needs through the external rewards we think we must chase.

Try to stop chasing after the horizon, and start to build a life that feels complete to you from within.