The Healing of Pain

Truly healing our pain is very simple as a concept but can be extraordinarily challenging in practice. More often than not, we confuse healing pain at the root with temporary symptom relief.

As my previous article suggests, it is actually OK to be in pain despite it not feeling that way when we are going through it. We are in a process of inevitable and necessary unlearning of certain belief systems that have persisted for many generations in our culture.

The main belief we have inherited is that we need to avoid any pain, unpleasantness, or discomfort. Or, at the very least, we are encouraged to put on a happy face and bury the pain unless we happen to be in a therapy session.

How many times have we had conversations at work or with acquaintances where everyone is always "fine," no matter what the truth of the matter may be?

We have equated pain and vulnerability with the possibility of losing our ability to survive. If my boss finds out I am in pain, he or she may think I am on the verge of some sort of breakdown and my job may be in jeopardy—or so I may think.

The truth is, being open about the darkness we face in ourselves with others expedites our ability to heal and move forward, individually and collectively. As the old expression goes, "A problem shared is a problem halved." Imagine if we all had the courage to be more honest with one another about our struggles as well as our good times; we may find more support in our day-to-day relationships instead of having to rely solely on helping professionals.

The first step is to fully acknowledge that the only way to truly heal pain is to go through it, consciously and soberly. There are no shortcuts, but there is certainly a large market that promises an easy solution and quick relief.

Everything from a drink or a toke at the end of a hard day to powerful psychotropic medication offers us the big lie: "You don't have to feel the pain you're feeling." The surface-level relief we do get from any given substance or activity may convince us that things are getting better. At the very least, we may tell ourselves we are better off than we were before.

Articles such as this may not be popular or well-received because they don't provide any sugar coating on the realities of life. Rather, this is a voice in the wilderness calling out to those who aspire to a life of authenticity and veracity and are willing to grow beyond the clutches of instant gratification.

I have been plagued by many forms of self-medication in my efforts to find relief from emotional pain. When I became so exhausted by all of my temporary strategies, I finally became willing to go inward and face the darkness once and for all. My work as a counselor and spiritual advisor draws on my own path of self healing and the many pitfalls, distractions, and societal influences that can hinder us along the way.

The simple takeaway regarding healing our pain can be summed up in three words: "Sit and breathe." This is the essence of meditation, which is fortunately finding a niche in the modern Western culture—and not a moment too soon.

By making a daily commitment to simply sit with ourselves and whatever pain we may be feeling, we begin to pay off the "emotional debt" we have been accumulating and running from in the past.

I often thought my emotional debt was too large to even begin paying off the interest, let alone the principle balance. Thankfully, life is far more forgiving than credit card companies or debt collectors.

Life wants to heal us, and our lives will orchestrate themselves in such a way that we are met halfway. All we have to do is affirm our commitment and begin the process of going through our pain with as much self-love and discipline as we can muster.

I am honored to have helped many people at various stages of their healing process. If you or someone you know is at all interested in a consultation, please feel free to contact me at any time.

www.seedsoflove.ca