The Art of Not Giving a Fuck

No, I haven’t read the book. Because at the moment I don’t feel that I want to. However, it didn’t come as a surprise to find in the description of the book some of the same things I wanted to write about today:

‘Subtle Art presents an entirely new approach to personal development, from top to bottom. Life is not about getting rid of problems, it’s about finding better problems. It’s not about avoiding failure, it’s about getting better at failure. It’s not about knowing everything, but becoming more comfortable in not knowing anything.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is all about coming to terms with all of the inevitable unimportant imperfections in life and then choosing to not give a f*ck about them. It’s about learning how to give a f*ck about the few things that truly matter.’

And while the book is a great help, otherwise it would not have sold millions, when it comes to change and not giving a fuck, there are a few things to remember: change does come from the inside, change comes when you are good and ready and change is a process that may or may not be perceived as a ‘long time’ and this process is individual, tailor-made by you, just for you. No single book, person, seminar, workshop, course, coaching or counselling session etc. will bring about true change and freedom, unless an internal process has been triggered, that will ultimately get you to the point of not giving a fuck.

You must have read at least one of those How To articles in 3, 7 or 10 steps etc. which seem to have all the answers for all the challenges you are faced with at the moment, haven't you? The universal recipe for your problem? And have you noticed how hard it can be to stick to the steps and bring about change in your life even if everything in there makes perfect sense?

Well, this means the process just hasn’t started yet. Some internal cognitive and emotional experiences still need to take place. And if the process hasn’t started it just means you might have skipped a few steps in the process and you might have to go back (unconsciously) to re-live some loops again, until you have completed the process and it finally hits you: Even if I do get to experience similar situations again, the outcome will be different because emotionally I am now approaching them differently and because I truly don’t give a fuck anymore about whether I ‘fail’, ‘succeed’, about what others will say or think about me, about whether or not the outcome will be 100% what I imagined it to be - the consequences of approaching things with a different mindset and emotion, which in fact represents the process of change: I am now able to create and experience different emotions, because I have become aware of certain aspects of myself and life, I have become grounded, and I am getting closer and closer to being and living in accord with my true self.

And the only thing I do give a fuck about is me, speaking MY truth, walking MY talk, doing things MY way and first and foremost MY well-being.

And the beauty in this is, that once you are here, you will not be able to harm or disregard others, because that is just not who you are anymore and the way you present yourself and your truth to them has a different feel, a different vibe altogether. And if you read this and it sounds selfish and you believe it is a selfish approach to life, well, then you may not be there just yet: you don’t yet don’t give a fuck.