depression
It is not just a matter of feeling sad; discover an honest view of the mental, emotional and physical toll of clinical depression.
Listen
Is anyone ever listening? How do I know that you're listening? How do I know that you care? Will you listen to me and help me find an answer or solution? Can you understand me? Are you willing to try to understand me? How in the hell can I get you to understand?
Morgan BinniePublished 7 years ago in PsycheStruggling Every Day with Anxiety and Depression!
Every morning I fight myself to wake up. I fight myself to get out of bed. My bed is my only safe place. It’s the only place where my anxiety is at ease. My bed is also my enemy; it’s where my thoughts start racing and my depression kicks in. It’s where I cry and fight my emotions about what people think or say about me. The blankets act as arms and cuddle me with their embrace. How can I leave such a soothing yet destructive place? When I finally pull myself up out of bed, I slowly find myself in my bathroom in front of my mirror where I stare into what depression and anxiety looks like. Tired, bloodshot eyes; messy hair; a face that’s breaking out from the stress. I stare into my own eyes, which tell so many stories of emotion and how I feel. I see the hurt and the pain that I cover up every day with a fake smile. I struggle to get ready and try to convince myself to lay back in bed. The world is a scary place; just go back to bed where you’re truly safe. Yet I fight to continue on, and I slowly make it outside, the sun making my eyes squint, because my blacked-out shades in my bedroom hide my eyes from the sun. I cover my eyes trying to hide my emotions from the world. My clothes still say a lot about me; black is my color. Black to hide my emotions, to hide who I really am—or is it to express what I really feel? I meet my friends, putting on that fake smile; they know what I’m covering up. They question and push till I break and tell them what I’m really feeling. It feels good to tell them that it’s truly difficult to actually leave my bed. For that little moment in life spent with my friends, I actually feel happy. I feel complete, like I never struggled at all. That’s until reality hits, when I step foot into my house. Everything hits again, a whirl wind of anxiety and depression all at once. How can I have such a great time, yet feel so sad? It’s this sickness I struggle with, it’s an illness that will forever be with me. No matter how good of a day I have, I struggle at the end of the day. It’s the little moments that keeps my feet on the ground. I can have the best day of my life and still feel like I’m not good enough for this world. I truly drown myself with emotions when I walk through the front door of my house. I create my own loneliness and destructive behavior. I have to remember that no matter how much I’m struggling, I have people that love me whom I can just call if I need to. I’m a lucky one; I have that outlet. My illnesses push me to be that person for anyone that needs someone. I know what it’s like to be at the end of your rope and someone saves my life. Don’t give up on who you are, live for the little happy moments. Push yourself; I promise when living life it’s truly beautiful. It’s hard reaching out for help when you think the world is out to get you. I have so many outlets to help me forget who I am or my life, music being the main one. I shove the earbuds as far as they’ll go into my ears. I turn the music up loud, and I hold on to every lyric that is being sung to me. Find a positive outlet to release yourself, find yourself in something positive. Hold onto it and don’t let go, and don’t be afraid to talk or ask for help.
Jennifer OrtegaPublished 7 years ago in PsycheIs Depression a Real Illness?
After tackling the beast called anxiety, I figured it's time to touch on yet another topic that I personally deal with and am highly fascinated by. (Yes, the brain is fascinating and even though I curse mine I am genuinely intrigued by its functioning—or lack thereof—ha.)
Annalise MishlerPublished 7 years ago in PsycheA New Outlook
After years of putting others first I have had to decide to put myself first. I have had problems with depression and breakdowns which pushed me to this decision. I haven’t decided to abandon everyone and everything totally but have decided on the way I need to go forward for my own good. This meant some hard decisions mixed with some upset but a few years after this I am far happier and far healthier.
ASHLEY SMITHPublished 7 years ago in PsycheHow I Know When My Depression Comes To Visit
Depression has become part of my life, part of who I am. Honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the world because I don't know any other way to live. It has its downfalls, naturally, but through my grandpa's death (when my depression started), high school bullies, and the trials and tribulations of college, I've come to know when my depression is getting bad and when it's calming down.
Jenna ConleyPublished 7 years ago in PsycheWhat Not to Say to Someone with Depression
*First, a preface that this turned into a bit more of a rant than I intended.* As a millennial, I hear a lot from older generations that we millennials are "too sensitive" and "take everything personally" and "get triggered too easily." I have a huge problem with these accusations because first of all, there is no such thing as being "too sensitive." Sensitivity is not a character flaw nor is it something that should be fixed.
Annalise MishlerPublished 7 years ago in PsycheWhy I Have Depression and What It Makes Me Feel Like
I'm 26 years old. I'll be 27 in October. I've suffered with depression for most of my teenage years and all the way up to now, I'll have it for the rest of my life. It's not something that can be cured only managed with a daily dose of medication that some days doesn't feel like it works.
Nathan NicholsonPublished 7 years ago in PsycheDepression
In my experience, and probably a lot of others too, depression is something you would not wish on your worst enemy. It consumes every inch of you and holds on tight, it pulls you down, further than you thought you could ever go, and most of the time it feels like it’ll keep you down there forever.
It Steals Your Life Away
"What does depression feel like? Well, it's as if someone or something steals your life away--or what's left of it, anyway."
Victor VazPublished 7 years ago in PsycheLiving with Clinical Depression
Living undiagnosed makes for a difficult childhood. For the first nineteen years of my life I believed the distorted reality I was presented with. In my world I was unloved and life was bleak and hopeless. I never thought I was unhappy, simply because I had never experienced real joy or emotional fulfillment. You can't miss what was never there.
Johnny O'NeillPublished 7 years ago in PsycheBefore You Choose Suicide...
Hi, let’s start this article by telling you a bit about myself. A very small bit. On my arm I have a tattoo of a semicolon, for years I was plagued by depression and thoughts of suicide. I still have a problem with depression. I always will, it’s how I’m hardwired.
Depression
Depression... The depths of this sickness that inhabits more than half the population is dark. Lost, in a hole, you can't ever find your way out. My name is Bri, I have suffered from chronic massive depression since I was 8 years old. As a child, my father didn't want to accept the realization that I had a problem. This would only fuel the fire further.
Bri BaxterPublished 7 years ago in Psyche