Have you ever wondered if the planets could actually have an affect on your life? It's not as far-fetched as one might think it is. Mercury is more than just a mysterious planet in the far away galaxy. Even though Mercury is an average distance of 48 million miles (77 kilometers) from Earth, it's presence is felt by all of the people that are living on planet Earth.
Mental Illness seems to be on everyone lips at the moment, like it's a new word, or something that is "on trend."
When Maureen comes to visit, she doesn't knock, she bursts through the doors making her presence known. Her clothes are always bright, her hair and makeup perfect. She comes it and immediately you can feel her, she's warm, confident, beautiful, full of life, happy. So happy it makes you forget that there was ever any sadness. She radiates sunshine, flowers, and every happy memory you have. She is the first warm spring day after a long hard winter. She comes through the house opening all the curtains, to let the light in. She says in the sweetest way that the house needs some fresh air. When she paints she uses the brightest most vivid colors. When she is here, we eat. We eat so much we forget that hunger even exists. When she is here all of our work is done, our house is in pristine condition, our homework done well, not late, not half assed. Effort, time and the desire to do it all is there. Friends visit more, we go out more, we enjoy our days and we laugh until tears are running down our cheeks. We are better friends, better lovers, better sisters, we are just better people when she is here. Sometimes Maureen talks too fast, she says it's like her thoughts are bees searching the give for the queen and can't get them out fast enough. She laughs and changes thoughts again. Maureen doesn't like rules, Maureen doesn't like to listen, follow directions. Maureen says rules are meant to be broken, Maureen says taking our own path is better than following others. Maureen says it's okay to do bad things sometimes. Otherwise we waste our forgiveness. Maureen takes on a lot, and always wants more to do. Maureen talks to men who are emotionally unavailable because she believes she is the exception to all the rules and to all men. And besides, who doesn't like a little one night fun. Maureen makes life fun and exciting again.
Growing up, I remember being sad, anxious, and always wanting to cry. Hell, I always was crying. Whenever I was asked what was wrong, I didn't know how to respond. The fear of upsetting people left me muted in a way. Therefore, I never told anyone how I felt.
The next illness that I suffer from is bipolar disorder. The symptoms of bi-polar are the same as depression but with bipolar, you have extreme highs and extreme lows and manic episodes. In addition to the symptoms of depression, symptoms of bipolar are inflated self-esteem or grandiosity, less need for sleep, talking more than usual or feeling pressure to keep talking, ideas or thoughts race through your mind, being easily distracted, unstable moods, feeling restless and increasing activities, having hallucinations, and having delusions.
I knew as a teenager that I had bipolar disorder. Begging my parents to take me to see someone, my father insisted I was just a moody teenager and I would grow out of it. Instead of self-medicating like a lot of people do, I wrote on and on for hours. I continued to have imaginary friends that I would talk to in my head even though I had a pretty good group of friends at school. Always putting on the brave face, everyone at school thought I was fairly happy. I was into the goth scene, I always preferred the slightly classier Victorian influenced gothic style, but inside I was tearing apart with mania and depression.
Bipolar, by definition, is a disorder defined by mood swings, depressive and raging manic episodes.
BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) is, as the name suggests, a personality disorder that manifests itself in many different ways. I have been diagnosed with it myself and let me tell you this: it's pretty darn scary. One minute you're the happiest you've ever felt, then the next you've never felt worse and you're slashing your wrist with the nearest sharp object. It's an awful mental illness to be diagnosed with, and it's so misunderstood by the public.
My dog has been my comfort ever since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 3 years ago. She always knows when something's up with me, and she'll come lie on my bed with me, sit with me like she's doing in the picture.
If you know me, or have read some of my older blogs, you probably know that I suffer from bipolar disorder. Specifically rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. Let's get technical for a second. What is rapid cycling bipolar disorder?
Hi, I'm Amanda, and I have manic-depressive disorder and general anxiety with mild OCD. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, where I can be matter of fact about it, where I can be like this is what I have and where I stand. It has been a long and bumpy road to get to this point.