Sunday Night

Though it's Sunday, I can't stop thinking about Monday. Thinking about going back to the same boring routine drains me out. I know I should be having fun, but I can only think about tomorrow's meeting with my boss, the same old people I will be working with for half of my life. HALF OF MY LIFE. Is that supposed to be a life? I wonder.

Tomorrow is the day when I'll be leaving my comfort zone, my serene apartment, my warm bed, and my half-finished series which I began watching on a Friday night. After enjoying my two days of being all lazy and lying like a log, it was time to get recharged to run like a rat for the next five days.

It's unbelievable how the last two days passed in a flash. Hours were passing like minutes. One moment it was morning and an hour later, the sun was all ready to set. It feels like time is cheating when you just want to relax and on working days, it's a different story. All the time I'd be staring at the clock and begging the little hand to move.

I often reflect on how monotonous and draining my life is during the night. Before I go to sleep, a lot of questions race through my head. Why must I report for duty on Monday? Why is it that I must work? Should I cancel tomorrow's plans? Is this job worth it? Shall I start doing something different? But before I could find the answers, I'd be running through the same aisles and the questions would just disappear in a place behind my mind, where they would only find time to resurface on the weekends.

One day, my high school classmate messaged me out of the blue and asked me,

"How was life?" I made an effort to answer in a cheery voice,

"Nothing new, just work and home", and guess what, when I said this, she replied the same thing, and all of a sudden, she started chatting about her obnoxious boss and the never-ending workload. We were all living the same life.

This is how life can be for you at times. And all you can do is grudgingly follow the current. Everyone around me was doing the same thing. I was no exception. Everyone was busy following a fast-paced life. The same old job, the same old people, every other person was busy following the same roadmap that had been provided for us for ages.

You are born, you study, you work, marry and eventually you die. Somewhere between the chaos of making sure that everything is checked off the list. Something was left behind. Something that is important but is often overlooked. Something called LIFE. Work is important. After all, someone has to work for someone in the end. But work is not life.

I wish I was talented; I could have ended up doing something different. Something which doesn't involve repeating the same things again and again, not listening to the same people every day, something which involves going to different places and meeting interesting people. Something which doesn't chain me down to the same place for half of my life.

The night was falling, and it was time for my mind to mentally shift from my comfort zone to work mode. Again, I'd be rethinking this thought after a week. Again I'd be questioning myself, my life, and my decisions. It is a never-ending cycle of overthinking.

I eventually dozed off and tomorrow when I wake up, I'll be rethinking these same things. Once again.