Stuck with a Narcissist

Sometimes even talking about this makes me feel like I am the narcissist, but having gone through lots of therapy a true narcissist doesn’t even know they are one. I have found this to be true in so many ways.

While you can absolutely love someone who has a narcissistic personality, just be warned it will drain you to your core. It’s very hard to get out of the relationship because they will always find ways to suck you in. It’s their goal in life.

Everything you say to them, do, or even have done can and will be used against you when a fight arises, even if it happened before you even knew they existed. Somehow, they will find a way to make it seem like you are the one with many issues.

They will rush everything! Time means a lot especially in a relationship. Everything at first always seems perfect until disagreements happen and arguments arise. Now, in every relationship there are these, but it’s how you deal with it and how you forgive. A narcissist will always get you to commit to big life changes before these true colors come out. This could be moving in together, engaging to one another, or even purchasing something big together. They want to tie you down so that you won’t reject or leave them, and if you do, you will suffer the consequences.

Competition is something that is huge on a relationship with a narcissist. It can be something as simple as how many times they told you they loved you to who burned more calories while working out, or how much money they make over you.

The fighting is endless, at least in my experience. I always stood up for myself, but unfortunately narcissistic people don’t like that. So they will find a way to make you feel even more down.

Isolation is one of their goals. They want to have you cut ties with everyone around you that was in your life. They do not want anyone else to have your time. They feel that your time is theirs.

My therapist said that this kind of relationship can be very chaotic. Especially for kids if they are involved. I have had many times wondering if I was the one who was the bad person. I spent a lot of times questioning what I did wrong.

The truth is: nothing will ever be good enough for a narcissist. They will always find ways to be better than you. They don’t care how much they hurt you. If you try to go, they will not be able to comprehend the rejection and keep going. Every form of communication in your life is what they will try. They will constantly message, call, snap, text, any way they can get a hold of you.

Stalking is a common trait as well. They will end up trying to follow you wherever you go. They lose control over you when you are away. It’s something that they can’t handle.

They will tell you things that they said, even though they never said it. This is a form of gaslighting. They want you to feel like your head is spinning so that you feel that you have lost your mind.

If I can give you any advice about this type of person, it would be to look for the red flags. You want someone who genuinely cares about you and your feelings. Narcissists lack empathy and will never relate to how or why you are feeling a certain way. If you are celebrating a win in your life, they usually won’t be happy for you. In fact, they will try to find something in their life in that moment that is better than your win.

Please trust me when I say, it’s not worth it. You are better off with your happy self. No one ever wants to live life drained and tired along with unannounced chaos. Stay strong and stick to your boundaries!