stigma "don't cry"

Have you ever heard that when your friend is sad, you go up to her and say "Don't cry, you can handle it yourself."? Or when you get a bad grade and want to cry, but you tell yourself that you shouldn't cry?

Actually, this is one of the characteristics of toxic positivity. You are constantly in denial about yourself and invite others to be denial about their feelings, which can actually damage the mentality of yourself and others you invite.

In his book "Toxic Postivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy", Whitney Goodman says that someone who has this trait is like a robot that sees all things in a good light and rejects bad views. But don't humans have many feelings, unlike robots that only have one feeling? Humans have the right to express all forms of emotions, not only happy ones, but also other things.

Back to my thoughts. I wonder why people in my neighbourhood always say "no" to negative emotions like crying? Don't they often experience it? It's even natural to release certain emotions, because we are only human. Weak, in need of help, even in our joy there must be crying.

I think especially people who like to hide their sadness in front of everyone, just for fear of being shamed or said to be weak, might really benefit from being more open. I think it's totally normal for him to feel overwhelmed in an unexpected situation. This also agrees with the words of Zaka Putra Ramadhani (2022: 36), who says that bottling up problems can make you feel stressed and depressed. This is called the duck syndrome, which is a condition where you feel like you're okay when you're not. Like a mask covering his true face, he shows us a cheerful side when he's not actually feeling that way.

This is called duck syndrome, which is when you feel like you're okay when you're not. We've all been there! It's like he's wearing a mask that shows he's happy when he's not.

I know, I know. We all have our ups and downs, and feeling sad is totally normal. But sometimes, we can get so caught up in trying to be happy all the time that we forget to acknowledge our sadness. It's only natural to feel sad sometimes, as long as it's not too long-lasting. Some people might say, "Don't be sad," which can make you feel like you shouldn't feel sad at all. This can make you feel depressed without even realizing it. As humans, we also need to take a moment to pause and take a deep breath. It's also important to give our minds a break and enjoy it in moderation. This will help us to feel less emotional and more focused when we need to be.

Even the prophets and apostles, who were undoubtedly also humans, experienced sadness. Prophet Ya'kub was really sad when he lost Prophet Yusuf 'alaihissalam, and Prophet Noah 'alaihissalam was really sad when he lost his son and wife. Even our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was saddened when he lost his wife and his dear uncle Abu Talib. These times were called "ammul huzni" (years of sadness). But this sadness didn't go too far, and it didn't make them lose faith.

It's so different now, isn't it? It's hard to believe that people felt sadness so deeply that it caused stress or depression. So, have a good cry if you need to, then get up and be positive!

I think a better way to say this would be, "Don't be sad, but if you need to cry, then do it. But don't forget to get up and move on." It's a lovely, gentle word, isn't it? When someone hears the second sentence, they might cry, but then, after everything really subsides, they look for solutions. Unlike the first sentence, which shows his denial of the emotions he's feeling, so that it only makes him 'put' negative thoughts into his head.

I really hope that with this writing, you can change the way you comfort others and yourself in sadness into something positive. Barakallah fii kum.