Sticks and Stones May Break Your Bones

Why is it we remember the insults more than the compliments? I don't know – something about that sort of sucks. Even when we might receive a dozen compliments over a short space of time and a single insult months prior – it's the insult that gels and stands above all else. And those few compliments? Damn – they're never enough to make us forget about that one rude remark.

For me, I remember being made fun of for a few missing teeth when I was about five years old. And, you know, it's funny, because I recall the exact situation and how it played out, too. Even at such a young age – it hurt me and emotionally scarred me. And all of those compliments post-insult just didn't make much difference to the lows I was feeling.

It was pretty petty looking back on it. But it hurt enough to stop me from smiling for almost a decade until I had braces. This, amazingly, was all because of a little girl pointing and mocking me for the gaps in my teeth after an accident. And, it was those few words which stuck with me through to my teenage years. Not the kind remarks over my surprising chuckle or awkward grin – but the insult. That's what packed the hardest punch of all.

Trying to find the fine line between banter and abuse is rather difficult at times. And, depending on the person it can often be a risky business to step into unless you're aware of who you're dealing with. But, sadly, a lot of the time people misjudge a character and say something they initially believe to be funny, but later realise to be quite hurtful.

Everybody deals with things differently. Some settle for a joke and even put themselves at the brunt of it just to fit in with the crowd. Some, however, take things a little too close to heart and sink at the moment an insult comes their way. Again – it isn't easy trying to find that line between right and wrong. And, if meeting new people, establishing the boundaries can sometimes be more challenging than rewarding.

Nobody wants to insult one another for the sake of it. But it happens. Whether it being a mistake or in the heat of the moment – people do say some hurtful things and it can impact the recipient pretty harshly. And, even when apologies have been made and the insult has been taken back, the cruel words still stand close and hang over our shoulders like a scythe.

It's pretty crazy to think our minds overcomplicate basic expressions and turn them into something out of proportion. Even when we know it's all fun and games – we still feel it weighing us down like iron bolts. That's something even the toughest soul can't deny. Because, believe it or not – words can most definitely hurt you. Words can always hurt you.

Nobody wants to act up and cause a scene when being offended. Just like nobody wants to start drama over something that might've been taken way out of context. And so, most of us tend to carry on and live with those insults in our heads and try to push past them before they sink us.

It's nice to know most people are in the same boat, to be honest. I, for one, hate smiling when asked to for silly things like photos. Even after twenty years – I still worry I might not be good enough for a portrait on someone's living room wall. I still hear that little girl laughing at the back of my mind and it truly does haunt me. And, believe me – I know that's crazy. But it's true.

If you've ever been offended by words – know that you're not alone. It doesn't make you a "snowflake" or a weakling. It makes you human, just the same as everybody else. Because, funnily enough, we all feel pain. We all have a barrel of emotions and sometimes the wrong one can topple out with ease. That's okay – we've all felt it. But, if I can give you one word of advice, it would be to not let it hang over you any longer than necessary. Because, sadly, the longer you let it dwell on you – the harder it'll be to forget it.

I wish I never remembered that one afternoon with the girl. I also wish I chose to forget it sooner than I did. Because if I had left it behind, maybe I would've smiled a whole lot more in life. Maybe, just maybe, I could've filtered out the bad words and replaced them with something a little more warming.

Please, think before you speak when meeting somebody new. You don't know them or what they're thinking about. You don't know their story or what goes through the heads when they sleep at night. So be considerate. And remember – words do hurt. Words can destroy.

#DayTwentyFive #VocalChallenge2020 #Psyche