Speaking of Hypnosis…

She was already halfway under by the time I mentioned that just talking about hypnosis causes hypnosis. Her eyes were focused directly on mine as her eyelids shut, then opened in one fluid swipe. Her breathing became deep and calm to the rhythm of the ocean waves in her mind. I spoke while keeping pace with her inhales and exhales. It was like creating music for the unconscious mind.

I had offered a simple suggestion that her hand would effortlessly touch her cheek as quickly or as slowly as it took for her mind to go into the most wonderful and enjoyable trance she had ever known. Then, her fingers began to twitch as though she had electrodes connected to her elbow, giving her small shocks to her reflexes. Her arm began to rise little by little in tiny jerking motions. It reminded me of small fish tugging on a fishing pole. She gently pulled the imaginary fishing line up towards her face closer and closer until it was just a pinky length away.

I'd offer her another suggestion that as soon as her fingers brush against her cheek (half a pinky away), she would go to sleep (hairs length away) now (we have contact). Her head immediately dropped, and her shoulders drooped. She was falling deep into her unconscious mind, blissfully floating down like a leaf falling from a tree. She would never have suspected that she would be hypnotized by the guy next door at her aunt's Thanksgiving gathering.

The Art of Zoning Out

Okay, perhaps hypnotizing my neighbor's niece (whom we will call June) at their Thanksgiving function wasn't the most appropriate thing to do. That night, I wasn't planning on sending someone into another dimension that only exists within their neuro superhighways. I also wasn't planning on working through some deeper traumas with June, whom I've only met an hour prior.

It wasn't difficult for her to go into deep hypnosis. After all, we go into a trance all the time without breaking a sweat. Think about it, have you ever driven someplace you've been to for the thousandth time and can't even recall how the hell you got there? Perhaps going home from work, about a quarter of a way through, you start to remember your day. Maybe you think about that time you gave an awkward handshake with the company's vice president. You think about how you came in with your hand out, and he came in for a fist bump. He punches your palm, and you both create a hand peacock. There's an announcement in your brain screaming, "You blew it! You blew it! YOU BLEW IT!" You think about how you'll never get promoted now because you weren't hip to his fist bump.

Then, bam! You suddenly snap out of this horrible instant replay and find yourself parking in your driveway. This doesn't seem too out of the ordinary, right? The hypnotist would say you were in a trance, and luckily, your unconscious mind knows how to get you home (yay, you). You can quickly go into this state by reading a book, watching a movie, staring at the clouds, maybe some guided meditation for meeting "your higher self." In the case of June, just talking about hypnosis and another essential ingredient (which we will talk more about in a bit) helped her get into this state.

It's like telling new home buyers that the house that they are touring was the site of a grisly murder. It wouldn't be too surprising that they start saying they are getting a weird vibe from the place or feel that the area is haunted. You unconsciously prepare for unusual things to happen. I suppose you can call this a sort of placebo effect. Although, in a placebo effect, usually treatment is being administered that the patient believes will improve their condition when it's nothing more than a sugar pill. The patient feels that they are getting better and, at times, they do get better.

When it comes to talking about hypnosis, the subject suddenly feels drowsy or entranced, but nothing is being administered, right? One study states for a placebo to work, treatments are delivered in a context. For example, in a doctor's office, the doctor says they will give you this pill to make you feel better. The doctor is dressed like a doctor, and you see the medication you are about to take. Then you think I'm going to feel better, and maybe you feel a little less nervous, you understand that they will take good care of you. You know that you go to the doctor throughout your life and expect this outcome, at least at an unconscious level. The placebo effect is the brain–body positive responses to the external context information. If you want to know what the adverse reaction is called, it's a nocebo. Think of the nocebo as someone giving you a pill then saying it's going to make you terribly ill.

When it came to that hypnosis session that night, the external context was that I stated that I was a hypnotist. I provided my knowledge on the subject. I explained that we go into a trance all the time. Her internal queues may have been, "He seems like he knows what he's doing. What if he's going to hypnotize me? Is he doing it now?" Her unconscious mind, at this point, may have started to think it was feeling the effects of hypnosis based on what she's seen or heard about it. Then, she reacts the says she thinks she's supposed to respond. Being drowsy, having a blank stare, jaw unclenching, body relaxing.

But what is being administered to June to cause a placebo effect? There are no pills, injections, creams, drinks. Could the treatment be simply hypnosis? The idea of hypnosis and talking about hypnosis can cause hypnosis if the context is there. But there is one other ingredient that is very important for the hypnosis session to work…rapport.

Rapport, Rapport, Rapport

Most hypnotists agree for a successful session, there must be a good relationship between the hypnotist and the subject. Some consider it the foundation of a robust trance. Without it, any "Your eyes are getting heavy" will be met with an "Uh, no, it isn't."

Many of the literature about being a hypnotist state you must build rapport with your subject. It will then go on to list different techniques on how to build a relationship. You might have learned many of these if you were looking into how to get someone to like you. The primary technique is mirroring. Simple, subtle, and we tend to do this naturally anyway when hitting it off with someone we just met.

They touch your shoulder as they talk to you. You touch theirs when you speak to them. They stand a certain way, and you find yourself mimicking their stature. They laugh at a bad joke, and you laugh along with them. Why do we do this? One reason is that we may not know how we should be reacting to a situation, and we desperately need to fit in. We are social creatures at heart. Even proud introverts have an unconscious sense of belonging. I am sure one or two introverts hit like on a meme depicting introverts thriving in quarantine, go team introverts.

In 1999 two researchers in the Department of Psychology at New York University dubbed this mimicry as "The Chameleon Effect" based on Woody Allen's role in the movie Zelig. The study by Tanya Chartrand and John Bargh hypothesized that the unconscious mirroring or mimicking people's behavior helps them like us more.

They ran three experiments in which two participants were sitting in a room describing a photo. Unknowing to participant one, participant two had been instructed to mimic the other's mannerisms subtly. Experiment one focused on the percentage of mimicry. Experiments two and three concentrated on likability and empathy. The researchers found that participants rated their experimenters with a high likability and were more open to their ideas.

That night, we spent the hour before talking about my major in psychology, hypnosis, our day jobs, and life. We connected over having worked for the same dreadful employer and mimicked each other's body language. We did this even during the inducing process. A skill that most learn unconsciously growing up to fit in, and sometimes we do on purpose to build social rapport. The key is not to make it apparent as to annoy the other person.

I would speak to the rhythm of her breathing. If I were to see her twitch, I'd say, "You may notice some twitching that only brings you into a deeper trance." Continuing the bio-feedback of her reaction, me noting that reaction, her responding to my response, and so forth until she was completely under.

You will now wake up refreshed, recharged, and questioning your relationships

It was supposed to be a basic protocol. In and out. You go in, you clean up some junk, and they feel like they just left a mental spa. However, doors were open, and mirrors were on display for June. Once you get them in a deep trance, you have to do something to prove that they were hypnotized. Usually, this involves suggestions like "You may notice your feet become difficult to lift as if they are glued to the ground." It's simple, but it makes the situation feel real. In the industry, we call these "convincers."

She started to giggle when she tried to lift her legs. The harder she tried to pull them up, the heavier they became. "Oh my gosh. That's so weird," she said as she continued with all her power to lift her legs. It's a fun experience to go through, believe me. A year prior, my first hypnosis experience was on stage in front of a hundred or so strangers. I had spent several minutes yelling at my hand, whom I believed to be this puppet with a mind of its own. It was as though I was watching the show from behind my eyes, thinking about how ridiculous I must look for having a conversation with my hand. The mind is a funny thing.

Remember context? In that stage show, I volunteered, knowing I was going to do some silly things. The hypnotist had built a rapport with the audience by telling us jokes about his personal life and related to him. I went up on stage, knowing that there will be a possibility that I will be doing some ridiculous things. I followed his instructions to the T, and I was transported to the back of my brain, watching everything unfold.

I things didn't go that far with June. Her aunt came out to tell everyone that the turkey was ready. People started to stand and make their way back inside the house. People were glancing at us as they passed by, trying not to make eye contact. Fearing that they will get sucked into the awkwardness. I felt a sudden pressure that I needed to speed things up a bit. So, I ran a fundamental protocol for clarity and to help get thoughts in order.

I had June imagine that she was in an endless hallway full of doors. Each door has its purpose, but the one we need to find is the control room. Once she found the control room door, she stepped inside to find a metal box on the wall that seems to be emitting sparks and has loose and tangled wires. Then, a knock on the door. It's a repairman who has come to fix the box.

At this point, her face began to wince as she shook her head, trying to avoid something invisible. I have not experienced this type of reaction before. Usually, there is a smile or even tears from subjects happy to see that this mess would be ordered. But not her. The more I kept advising that the repairman fix the wires and make everything nice a neat, the more she began to appear that she was resisting.

I knew this wasn't going to work out too well and said that when I snap my fingers, the wires will suddenly be in order, and she will wake up refreshed and energized. I snapped my fingers, and she began to open her eyes slowly. I was curious about what happened, but I usually do not ask and allow the work to settle. I didn't have to ask.

She exclaimed how great the experience was and how at the beginning, she felt as though the people at the party began to sound like the ocean and could only hear my voice. She went on about how funny it felt when she tried her best to lift her legs. I was happy to hear that she enjoyed that part of the session, but I was dying to know what happened at the end of the session.

I couldn't help myself. I needed to know what happened. Just as I was about to ask, June said, "The only thing was at the last part. I imagined the door, and I saw the box of wires. When you said that a repairman would fix it, I kept imagining this person who reminded me of my father and husband. That they were trying to fix this box, but I really didn't want them to. I wanted to fix it myself. They are always controlling me."

It was then. I realized my error. One, how could I be so misogynistic and say a repairman is coming to fix the box. Two, this session was never meant to be a therapy session. Just a form of entertainment and a small gift of clarity to wrap things up. How could she help but think it was a therapy session? We spoke of psychology and mental health. Whether it was conscious or not, she couldn't help but feel this was therapy. I should have done that to establish this session as entertainment or just not do it at all. I felt guilty.

She sat for a bit and said in a cheery tone, "Wow, I guess I need to deal with some things." I wasn't sure if she was trying to be polite or she had this profound realization. During our talk before the session would occur, she told me her dreams. How she wanted to start up a little business selling teas but felt she couldn't. The look of longing was apparent on the face. She went on to say how her husband had got her a job at a bank instead. She said thank you, and that was the last I spoke to June.

Why can hypnosis be so powerful? What does it do to help people come to a realization? Could it be that we spend our conscious lives burying our traumas? The distractions of social media, watching tv, partying, drugs, only happy thoughts? They say, when you are in deep hypnosis, your brain gives off Theta waves. The state where REM starts to kick in, ideas begin to flow, feeling and deeper emotions emerge freely—the dream state.

Days later, the neighbor told me that her niece wanted to thank me again, and that day helped her a lot. I was happy to hear that some good came out of that event on Thanksgiving, but I could not accept any thanks. I believe that something in her wanted her to know something. In reality, I did nothing but ask her to imagine someone fixing a box of tangled wires. She will be the one to interpret the message from her inner self and make the changes she needs.

This may have been the last time I would perform hypnosis on anyone for now. Still, I continue my psychology path with more determination than ever. It is I who should be thanking June.