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by Unlisted&Twisted! 2 months ago in coping · updated 2 months ago
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From Crown Point, Indiana...

"Why?" [Olivia R. Petrus].

A long, long time ago, when I was just a baby girl, I longed for MUSIC. I longed for games, toys, fun with my friends, and it was almost as if I were DRIVEN by a motor. Was I just a typical, rambunctious awkward child? It honestly depends on which mental health expert YOU ask! As a young child, I had friends, family, dogs, cats, hamsters, horses and more... but those were the GOOD times. Now, it FEELS like I have NOBODY.


"Oh, Thank God..." [Picture by Olivia R. Petrus].

In life, there are times in which one naturally feels, "At Ease". There are other moments where time feels, "FROZEN". There are bruises on my legs. There are bug bites. I've got scrapes. I think I've paid my dues and then some... and... hey... I'm still alive. Dr. Phil... Your G.Y.L.T. Trips won't work on me! Church, y'all just probably won't work on me easily at this point. Shoot, I could just jump from a balcony, but it would DEVESTATE my family and community.


"Ok!" [Picture by Olivia R. Petrus].

I could care less about Disney films. I'm 32 years old. I have a cat to care for, a dog, and an older sibling. I would LIKE to pursue a career in writing. Can I afford one? The prevailing psychological theory that I have NOT MATURED beyond the age of fourteen is subjective to interpretation... like good music.

My Birth Parents never took me to be evaluated for any sort of psychological or learning disability in the early 1990's. This was DESPITE all the quiet chaos, drama and turmoil that surrounds countless lives behind doors ALL around the world on a DAILY BASIS. This was despite how TACTILE of a learner I was, how active I was. No, I'm not yet talking about being driven like a, "TONE GENERATOR"... that's vocal theory. This is actually Neurophysiological Biology. It is literally SCIENCE... AT THE SUB-ATOMIC, MICROSCOPIC LEVEL!!! That's something most Stay-At-Home Mother's and Working Father's - who were UNFAMILIAR with the Internet, but still indoctrinated - or locked down by those Domestic Wedding Vows that are still a pretty TOUCHY TOPIC to this day... they just didn't pay much attention to me or the cat or the dog much like the cameras that are everywhere do now...

Yes, I DID actually, sort-of read the pamphlet inside the box at the time. It fascinated me. And most drugs like duloxetine, an SNRI (Selective Serotonin and Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitor) come with BLACK BOX WARNING LABELS - the HIGHEST labels the American FDA can ascribe to a pharmaceutical agent to essentially warn CLINICIANS that, "Hey, here is EXACTLY what we're giving you. There is CLINICAL SUPPORT that these little drawings represent molecules that effectively treat SOME patients for a VAST variety of VIRAL diseases. When it comes to prescribing them to young people's developing brains... proceed with caution!!!"


"Yes." Nitty Petrus

No, I DON'T have seasonal allergies. For whatever reason, I still get a case of mysterious multiple sneeze attacks, where I sneeze quite often - just like my Birth Mother did. She had seizures, too. No, I don't hate Disney films. I'm just not going to watch them when I don't have children at age 32. I DO have pets though! When I was growing up, AS A CHILD, what do you think my Birth Parents put on to distract me??? There's MANY parents around my age currently that HAVE to sit through those films now. And they're just as endearing, sweet, confusing or downright obnoxious as they've ALWAYS been...

Let's UNTWIST things and FIX things here. I am NOT a Home Health Aide for Google. I can't hate on Google, it just kind of came with the package. I love my music as much as Google probably resents this blog. It has ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW TO DEAL WITH A YOUNG WOMAN LIKE MYSELF!!! It came with the GRACE of a PLAYLIST that can make people CRINGE, or just be like, "Aw... she really do just like her music... and wakes up too damn early!!!" My Birth-Mother, who I could share all the gritty details of being raped, pawed at, taken advantage of, loved dearly by too many names to count, she's not here anymore. Yet somehow, I am!!! If I were as SMART, CLEVER, and INSIGHTFUL as a, "NORMAL" young woman, Dr. Phil, wouldn't I have this whole job, life, money thing figured this out by now???


"You Tell Me, Google...". [Olivia R. Petrus].


About the author


Welcome Readers! Thank you for checking in! I am a young, mentally ill young woman with a passion for mental health awareness, music, and love to write! I hope my stories inspire you. Follow me here or on Instagram @unlistedandtwistedblog

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