Unlisted&Twisted!
Bio
Welcome Readers! Thank you for checking in! I am a young, mentally ill young woman with a passion for mental health awareness, music, and writing! I hope my stories inspire you. Follow me here or on Instagram @unlistedandtwistedblog
Stories (22/0)
ENDING THE SILENCE CAMPAIGN
NAMI stands for the National Alliance on Mental Illness. The DBSA – The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Both are organizations dedicated to the same goals – eliminating the stigma surrounding mental illness by stretching boundaries, uplifting all voices, and even taking crash courses in courtesy - on educating those that lack insight the courage to keep barking about mental health awareness! NAMI, of which I am more familiar with, is a 501-c3 non-profit, grassroots organization dedicated to raising awareness about mental health and behavioral disorders. NAMI was conceived in basements by individuals struggling in silence and shame across the nation since the early 70’s. NAMI’s 2022 campaign to, “End-The-Silence” or ETS on the stigma and shame associated with living with and/or loving someone with a mental health and/or substance abuse disorder has called leaders to be active channels or voices to help share inspirational stories of hope, resiliency, unity and strength to help truly eliminate the stigmas and boundaries associated with the abuse, shame and silence surrounding mental health awareness. The Depression-Bipolar Support Alliance is funded by Medicaid. It, too, offers free mental health resources - like the virtual, peer lead support group meeting I try to make every week - across the nation. “Ending-The-Silence” on the stigma associated with the loss of loving a young adult victim you just love too much to ever let go of comes with dark stories of fear, shame, isolation and despair. Readers shouldn’t fear this author though. I'm just a Stay-At-Home type, unemployed low level healthcare provider. And yes, I like to vape! Yes, I like my coffee. Yes, I can do insane magic tricks that people expect me to magically relive that were realistically terrifying. This story would be so boring if I was the only character. It was never about me. It was about all the OTHER tormented souls I've encountered along my journeys of making way too many social media accounts to keep track of! According to Mr. Daniel H. Gillison Jr., the CEO of NAMI, that in 2020, "One in three teens and young adults (ages 18 to 25) reported a mental illness in America." This begs the question, how many didn’t say a word??? He goes on to state that, "6.8 million of these young adults reported serious thoughts of suicide." Again, WHO did they reach out to? Where? When? And whose really keeping count??? Who DIDN'T? The opinion of this survivor of suicide attempts is that the trend of silence should end with peace and solidarity, not fears of networks, connections, and disparagement. I've had the PRIVLIDGE of reaching out to these organizations via Wi-Fi connections by ESSENTIALLY learning the hard way. Maybe that's the way I like it. Maybe there are REASONS for that...
By Unlisted&Twisted!2 years ago in Psyche
SOMEBODY NEEDS TO TELL THE TRUTH....
A long, long time ago, when I was just a baby girl, I longed for MUSIC. I longed for games, toys, fun with my friends, and it was almost as if I were DRIVEN by a motor. Was I just a typical, rambunctious awkward child? It honestly depends on which mental health expert YOU ask! As a young child, I had friends, family, dogs, cats, hamsters, horses and more... but those were the GOOD times. Now, it FEELS like I have NOBODY.
By Unlisted&Twisted!2 years ago in Psyche
WHEN LOUD IS NOT ALLOWED...
Vocal.Media.com has CHALLENGED me to CONFESS ALL MY DIRTY SECRETS... about the many mothers both well known and not in my life that have always guided... or politely tolerated... this LOUD, LITTLE GIRL who continues to meticulously WEAVE her way back and forth from "The Heights" of the South Suburban Chicagoland Region to "The Point" of the Northeastern Indiana Border...
By Unlisted&Twisted!2 years ago in Confessions
UNCERTAINTY...
It's been nearly a year since I crossed over the border - from the South Suburban Chicagoland Region - to the Northeastern Region of Indiana... Last year I was granted the opportunity to practice as a Home Health Aide within the region I have always called home... and the license is STILL VALID in the state of Indiana... Clearly, this is, "DANGEROUS" territory for a, "LOUD", "YOUNG" woman with multiple psychiatric disabilities to lightly tread... but... FEAR NOT LITTLE GIRL... PROFESSIONALS ARE HERE...
By Unlisted&Twisted!2 years ago in Families
Why I Donated Blood...
If you've been wondering what I've been up to lately, I was so grateful to share with the world - back when the golden Midwestern leaves littered the Northeastern roads of Indiana - that I had officially rejoined the American workforce! It was in my ideal field - the healthcare setting! Now, however, when I initially began writing this post and practicing in that field, I reside in a MUCH different State and time than that of my beloved home state of Illinois. The "Land of Lincoln," some say fondly. "Crook County!" other's sneer. I grew up FAST on BOTH sides of the South Suburban Chicagoland Region and Northeastern or Northwestern Indiana border! My oh my, how the times have changed - in terms of one mentally ill, young woman's life, circumstances, experiences, opportunities and challenges that she alone is EXPECTED to surmount and OVERCOME...
By Unlisted&Twisted!2 years ago in Confessions
Excommunication of the Self...
Originally written by Olivia Petrus. Oct. 7th, 2007. I stared out the car window at the green open fields enveloped in the early Sunday morning light. The car moved slowly up and down the hilly road that led us past the Illinois countryside. I noticed the birds soaring freely in the blue skies and watched the cows graze, while the horses galloped in and out of the stereotypical barns littered across that Middle-of-Nowhere Town.
By Unlisted&Twisted!2 years ago in Families
The Scarlet Macaw
According to the International Affairs section of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service webpage, Scarlet Macaws are, "the largest of this 'iconic' species of parrots. Their vivid scarlet red, azure blue, and bright, sharp yellow feathers are highly sought after to be used in rituals by poachers - only one reason why they are protected as an endangered species, besides habitat loss, and illegal pet trading and breeding. They are reported to have loud vocalizations, and are mostly vegetarian. Interestingly enough, these birds are considered, 'left-handed' with their left claw being dominate to crush the hard nuts and fruits they subsist on. They are highly intelligent, social and beautiful birds, who form lifelong, monogamous bonds with their mates. They often live in packs in the wild - where they can live up to 50 years. Scarlet Macaws are under threat of conservation, and considered a protected, endangered species due mainly to loss of the habitation they subsist on and poachers - who seek out the beautiful birds for their feathers or to sell in the illegal pet trade - where they often die during transport. This complicates conservation efforts further, as they typically only reproduce one to two chicks per year. They are native to the tropical forests of Mexico, Central America, and South America." [FSV.gov]. [Google]. The following is a poem written by a girl that feels more like a 'Scarlet Letter', which is, "a novel written by Nathaniel Hawthorne in 1850, about a woman who had a child out of wedlock," according to Britannica.com. I had to read THAT piece of groundbreaking fiction for my American Literature class in high school. I wrote the following poem quite some time after the 'nightmare' that was high school... It has nothing to do with Scarlet Macaws or the novel. However, I DO note some interesting similarities and contrasts between the Scarlet Macaw - being a loud parrot with striking scarlet feathers, seeking out a lifelong mate, the contentious novel, the poem that follows, and the girl who wrote it - who has never been pregnant, married or had a child. She still feels like she stands out like a Scarlet McCaw or Scarlet Letter in her new hometown. The poem is called, "At Midnight in December". It started sometime in 2016 or 2017, and has been edited and revised many times to this very writing... AT MIDNIGHT IN DECEMBER
By Unlisted&Twisted!2 years ago in Poets
Did You Know October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month AND Domestic Violence Awareness Month?
I know that few people are actually following along with me on this blog, but if you read my last story, Did You Know October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month AND Domestic Violence Awareness Month? then you should now be well aware about Breast Cancer, that October IS Breast Cancer Awareness Month, how to do Self-Breast Examinations, and more, courtesy of research conducted by The American Cancer Society, the CDC, and The National Foundation for Cancer Research. That being said, it is ALSO Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Domestic Violence (DV) is something I THOUGHT I was far too familiar with. To one degree, I am. While many brave women have come forward to share their stories regarding being raped or molested - the form of DV I am most well acquainted with - using the contentious and popular #METOO platform, for me, it's something I really don't want to talk about. However, I promised to write a story, and I intend to deliver. Formatting be damned!
By Unlisted&Twisted!3 years ago in FYI
Did You Know That October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month AND Domestic Violence Awareness Month?
Even at thirty-one years of age, when people mention October, my thoughts typically leap to the falling leaves of autumn, conjuring up vivid memories of Halloween shenanigans... The trees of the Midwest transform the landscape into brilliant colors, littering the pumpkins people inflate and ignite with lights - or actually buy, old-school style, and put out to be festive - along with ghost stories, hay-rides, haunted houses of all kinds. And, of course, the delightful children dressing up and Trick-or-Treating. I LOVE passing out candy to them! I may never have children, so it brings ME great joy to see the kids all dressed up with their friends or parents, going door-to-door, keeping the Halloween shenanigans I once so delighted in and tradition alive and well! Now, I also rake the leaves out of my AND my neighbors' yards. One day, one leave, and one bag at a time... So, what does this have to do with Breast Cancer AND Domestic Violence???
By Unlisted&Twisted!3 years ago in FYI
What's NAMI?
I'm sure you've probably heard about AA - Alcoholics Anonymous. Maybe you've heard of NA - Narcotics Anonymous, too. Those are the two places that doctors and SAMHSA - The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration - regularly recommend patients they suspect of having drug or alcohol problems turn to for over fifty something years... But what if AA and/or NA FAIL to EFFECTIVELY help a patient quit drinking or abusing dangerous narcotics? In my life, I've been to AA and NA. AA DID help me stop drinking when I was much younger, for a short period of time. One well known phrase in AA is to, "Keep Coming Back!" It's good, solid advice for SOME alcoholics. Isolation and loneliness are only two of the MANY complicated reasons why SOME alcoholics drink themselves to death. So, AA uses this phrase to encourage their participants to stay engaged with THEIR program. Another common AA adage tossed around AA meetings - along with the cigarette ashes and coffee cans - is, "It Works If You Work It!" In my desperate bid to REALLY "work" the well known twelve-step program, I would ALSO attend NA meetings if AA meetings weren't available. AA and NA are like cousins. In fact, the two programs are identically modeled after one another, with just a few word substitutions. AA spawned NA. Without going into TOO much detail, attending those NA meetings ultimately lead to a terrible Heroin addiction. I haven't used Heroin or any of the other well-known "dangerous" street drugs I have in the past for quite some time. My drinking is currently under control after a long and arduous battle with my "inner demons". How did I accomplish what most doctors say is IMPOSSIBLE with "alcoholics" that DON'T attend AA or "drug addicts" that DON'T attend NA? The most simple explanation for that question is that I was LUCKY enough to have an EXCELLENT, patient, kind, and DISCERNING psychiatrist - one who also ardently supports NAMI - along with my family support system, of course. The funny thing is, I quit drinking when I became addicted to Heroin. This isn't rocket science or math. All my "funds" went towards trying to get more Heroin, instead of booze. With the help of my doctor, family, and friends, I got off the Heroin, was already off the other "dangerous" street drugs, and eventually moved out of my childhood basement. There was plenty of booze around at the new place I moved into. However, my anxiety issues still plagued my soul. "Well, I'm in a new town, on my own, with time on my hands... What can I do besides clean the house, make music/art, and tend to my new boyfriend?" I still care about that NOW ex-boyfriend and his family. Deeply. I was introduced to many wonderful people back then. Some of whom I still talk to to this day... However, I wanted my OWN identity. My OWN friends. My OWN job, life and resources. One day, as I was sitting on the couch - staring out the window - drink in hand, reflecting on ALL THOSE inpatient psychiatric stays... I thought something along the lines of, "Heroin withdrawal IS different than alcohol withdrawal. Alcohol withdrawal CAN and DOES kill people... typically from WITHDRAWAL SEIZURES". Alcoholism killed my mother when I was only twenty-four years old. AA FAILED her. Three rehab stints FAILED her. Impatient doctors that IGNORED her untreated ANXIETY, DEPRESSION and ISOLATION from HER friends and family FAILED her. "Why?" To be fair, she didn't "keep going back" to those AA meetings. I'd recommend any person concerned about their or a loved one's excessive ETOH consumption attend AA with an open mind. If it works for THEM, then by all means, keep going back! My mother, however, was a very "private" person. "Heroin addiction just makes you WANT to die," I recall. At the time, withdrawal from opioids alone DID not have the same lethal WITHDRAWAL consequences alcoholism CAN and DOES have. This is due mainly to the fact that there ARE opioid receptors NATURALLY in your brain. Though, overdose from opioids CAN and DOES kill just as MANY "drunks" to this day, my mind leapt to NAMI first - The National Alliance on Mental Illness - a 501-C3 non-profit, grassroots organization dedicated to advocating for the mentally ill all across the United States. This is where things get "contentious" as one of my older friends called me. Though there are MANY other FREE resources to turn to, besides AA and NA - or any other spin-off twelve-step programs - like Gambler's Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous... the list goes on... there ARE other free resources like "Hope4TheDay", "The Trevor Project", "The Crisis Textline", "Warm-Lines" you can call - all of which I found out about via NAMI.YOU have to access them, though. YOU have to recognize where YOU or a loved one ARE in THEIR "recovery" from mental illness. More important, the STATE you happen to live in, needs to recognize the VALUE of investing funds into non-profit organizations to give FORMER addicts, like myself, a FAIR chance to recover. Mental Illness is a real and RELAPSING illness that NO ONE wants to talk about. Don't EVER lose hope though. The good news is, is that there ARE those alternatives to NA and AA. For example, the DBSA - or Depression-Bipolar Support Alliance. This is where things get "contentious" as I mentioned before...The DBSA is funded by Medicare and Medicaid. I've attended NAMI meetings and DBSA meetings - both in-person and via the internet. NAMI was FAR more accommodating and thorough, in my personal experience. While my THEN local DBSA meeting was effective, this was due to the fact they had a COHESIVE group of individuals that REGULARLY met, face-to-face, to discuss their struggles, privately. When COVID-19 hit, however, and I was ALL ALONE, I turned to who I trusted the most - NAMI. The main reason I call this matter "contentious" is due to the State which saw the value in investing tax money into more than just... making more money. NAMI offers highly informative classes for families dealing with mental illness, job training and support classes for those struggling with mental illness, places to go to NOT ISOLATE, phone lines you can call, and groups for the mentally ill, and their loved ones, and is WELCOMING of ALL people with ANY experience living with, or loving someone with, a mental health disorder - regardless of where they are in THEIR recovery. The dogma of twelve-step programs, that DEMAND you reveal EVERYTHING to SOMEONE with mental health issues to someone they DON'T really know well, and DEMAND to subscribe to a "Higher-Power" is a BIG turn off for SOME people struggling with mental health issues that DON'T feel like sharing EVERYTHING with EVERYONE, like my mother. Now, the choice is in YOUR hands. Are you going to sit back and let yourself DIE because everyone "failed" you? Or are you going to access the VAST majority of resources available by simply going online and finding out for yourself - and more important - SHOWING UP to these free resources? All of which I found out via NAMI. The "sad" thing about my current situation is that there ARE no "local" NAMI organizations I CAN access anymore. I can still be an advocate for NAMI, though. And I always will be. That's just MY opinion. I'd like to thank GOOGLE, MICROSOFT, HP, VOCAL.MEDIA, my family, friends, doctors, NAMI, the DBSA, AA, NA, SAMSHA, The Trevor Project, The Crisis Textline, and EVERY volunteer and influence I've ever been BLESSED enough to have had contact with - and whomever else I missed while trying to get by WITHOUT a local NAMI chapter to visit - for helping me get to the point where... I'M STILL ALIVE AND HAVE HOPE. I HAVEN'T DIED YET. I'M OVER THE DRUGS. I'M OVER THE LABELS. I'M OVER THE DISCRIMINATION... I just want a job now, and to get on with my life... That's what MY mother would WANT. For me AND my older sibling. Thank you, thank you, and thank you. EVERYONE. [Olivia Petrus].
By Unlisted&Twisted!3 years ago in Psyche
