Small Moments, Big Memories

Arizona, as a whole, is a seemingly hot, desolate desert for most. But for me and my mother, it was an escape from the hell we had been experiencing. As abuse survivors, we were looking for a new start, and Scottsdale, Arizona is where we were able to find that.

Looking back, I never understood why we needed to move where we did, but now I have gained an appreciation for my hometown. I’ve been here since I was 7, but it’s grown to be my childhood and young adulthood. I wouldn’t be able to call anywhere else home because Arizona molded me into the person I am today.

I’ve accomplished so many things, and I’ve also struggled with so many of them as well. Every achievement was matched with a speed bump, and every speed bump was matched with the motivation to achieve and overcome anything.

Arizona is the place I first fell in love for the first time. But Arizona is also the place that my heart got broken by one of my best friends.

Arizona has made me feel so lost, but Arizona has also helped me find myself as I mold into the person I want to be. I’ve come a lot further than the 1,425 miles from Seattle. Embracing the flaws is what really helped me see all of the beauty of Arizona. I’ve experienced everything from simple picnics in the park to hiking the Grand Canyon and getting a view of Mooney Falls.

Growing up, I always had a hard time with loving myself, let alone loving anything or anyone around me. I lost sight of the beauty that Arizona was able to bring to me all on its own, and until recently, I never got to embrace it the way I would have liked. But, of course, it was just my luck to have COVID hit just as I was starting to appreciate things and life that I had been so blind to see before. Thankfully, I’ve found little ways to enjoy Arizona as naturally and socially distanced as possible. Whether going for walks with my dog or going on hikes, I’ve explored areas of town that I wouldn’t have previously thought to explore. I even took my husky up to see some snow and run around like the maniac she is, and let me tell you what, it sparked infinite joy for me to watch her enjoy herself so much.

I’ve come a long way in Arizona. Quite frankly, I didn’t want to live while I was growing up. I hoped and tried to die, thinking that it would help my mom escape everything she had been going through. No daughter around, no ex-husband to harass her for me. But the universe had different ideas. I’ve made so much progress with my depression and anxiety alone, let alone the other accomplishments I’ve been able to make. I graduated with honors from highschool, I graduated from my undergraduate degree in 3 years, and I managed to get a full scholarship for my master’s degree. I would have never experienced any of these things if it wasn’t for Arizona.

My recent feat, and the most impressive for me, is that I finished writing my first book. Writing is my first love, and I have aspired to complete my first book in my series for the past 6 years, but I just haven’t been able to bring myself to develop the story and finish. But I am so glad I didn’t finish it 6 years ago when I started because I was able to put so much more insight into life and experience into not only my writing, but my character and storyline development.

Arizona will always have a special place in my heart, no matter where I go in the world. If you ever get a chance to visit, be sure to visit everywhere from Phoenix to Sedona to the Grand Canyon. You won’t be disappointed, and you’ll realize that while we are so small in the grand scheme of things, we get to experience these vast beauties.