Small battles, and big victories.

In life, although conflicts are a spectrum for some of us, including me some days even locating the strength to get out of bed becomes a scrimmage in itself. A large percentage of my adult life has been spent bouncing between Marianas Trench like crashes and almost manic highs, but trying to find equilibrium and harmony has become the primary focus of my energy. Instead of permitting your anxiety to dominate and dictate your life take that step, make that effort and your future self will thank you.

I try my hardest to take it one day at a time. Set myself a straightforward and achievable objective, some days it's as simple and straightforward as getting out of bed others, it's trying to take one baby step towards my aspirations. Stagnant days for me are the most harmful they can be physically and emotionally exhausting, particularly if you are a compulsive overthinker like I am and I have a whole mass of experience with those days, days where the clock refuses to move fast enough and when the night seems to never come timely enough. The trick is to remember each time you made it past these depressions, think about all the times you thought a battle could not be won and yet here you are flourishing and fortified.

When it comes to my relationship with anxiety for a long time I was closer to it than I was to any individual, I still encounter and struggle with it virtually every day but I am slowly discovering ways to take it on without breaking down. "Don't depend on the enemy, not coming; depend rather on being ready for him." - Sun Tzu. In case you are anything like I am, it is inescapable, it is destined to reemerge. The trick isn't to just merely pretend it isn't, but alternatively to try and mentally prepare yourself for when it does, For me, it is establishing modest incremental changes, attempting to wake up a bit earlier or not concentrating on the matters I can't alter or merely writing down my thoughts more frequently as a record of my state of mind at those times.

Writing your thoughts is an unbelievably beneficial therapy as occasionally it provides temporary relief seeing your feelings in words, but it can also supply some semblance of consolation to you in the future. If I reflect back on my writings from years ago I can catch a glimpse of where I was at that time and hopefully be reminded that I am better off. Most commonly our anxiety is very genuine, it stems from the outside stimulation or from within our own head, and for those, they take a lot of work to repair, which includes finding the root which could be the feeling of being trapped, loneliness, disarray, helplessness whatever it is just about all of them are very tangible. But for the things most of us struggle with in our day to day lives the things we can't change, we only have to remember that stressing about them does not benefit us in any capacity.

The beautiful thing about trying to improve yourself is even just engaging in the act, you are already serving it. If you are actively taking the time to outstretch your hand for aid, you are making an effort to repair it. Support is not a sign of helplessness, it is exhibiting that you are capable of accepting assistance. For a long time in my life, I was unable to do this I couldn't acknowledge that I required help and particularly couldn't voice it, internal conflicts influence external realities. In our effort to keep people in the dark about the war in our heads, it ends up coming out and being perceived as anger or frustration directed at all the wrong sources. For some, it can make them feel that they are the reason and might take it personally which can create unnecessary guilt for ourselves. Accept that you do have an issue and try to voice it, give them an opportunity to help you. You never almost never are able to recognize who else is going through the same predicament as you.

Use it as a strength, anxiety can feel crushing sometimes, but other times it is the thing that warns you of potential consequences or dangerous situations, although these can be overwhelming when compounded with overthinking. It can unquestionably be healthy and beneficial to experience anxiety at times, attempting to determine when it is helpful and when it is self-destructive is one of the most difficult things to do but it is also the most significant part's. Try asking yourself "can I change this" or "what can I actually do about it" anytime you are hit with anxiety, ask yourself "is it something I have control over" if not try to convince yourself of that. Remind yourself that "I cannot control the world, I can only control how I respond to it" stress is a part of our life that makes it backbreaking to remind ourselves of this but that is the truth. Some matters, we do not have the ability to change and therefore shouldn't be torturing our brains stressing over them, whatever is destined to happen will regardless of your feelings towards it.

Any battle worth fighting and most importantly winning will never be a leisurely fought one it doesn't have to be an overnight success you just have to make those daily attempts to better it. Over time incessantly chipping away at it you will not only learn a lot about the condition itself, but in the process discover a lot about yourself. Minor advancement will be forevermore beneficial than none, there's nothing wrong with taking a day off either, mending takes time and there are times to hurry and times to be patient and this is the latter. Breathe and always remind yourself you are doing just fine. Small battles, and big victories.