“Practice these principles in all our affairs.”

The meeting was with the global CEO and the top brass of the ad agency where I worked (all men, naturally). I wanted to convince them to allow me to start my own business (using a process I’d created as an employee) while keeping a relationship (and source of revenue) with my employer.

I was terrified.

The CEO dude was intimidating and powerful. I’d barely said hello to him before this meeting. I didn’t trust or like him.

I’d called my wise sober friend multiple times freaking out about what my script should be.

She told me to write down these three spiritual principles on the notepad I was bringing to the meeting:

Courage

Honesty

Sincerity

She said to substitute these principles for whatever script I was writing in my head.

I took her suggestion.

While I do not remember the details of how that meeting went, I walked out with a $500,000 contract over two years. My employer did not own any of the company I was creating. It was so much better than any outcome I’d ever dreamed was possible.

It was a powerful experience of how practicing spiritual principles allows something to unfold that is way better than anything I could imagine or manipulate my way into.

The 12th step and the 12th tradition both allude to the power of spiritual principles.

“…practice these principles in all our affairs…” (Step 12)

“…always reminding us to place principles before personalities.” (Tradition 12)

And where we get specific and detailed instructions on how to do the rest of the steps (see Step 4, Step 10, etc.), on this issue, our literature is confoundingly missing or vague.

What exactly are the spiritual principles?

And how exactly do I “practice” them?

I’ve drawn from our literature, my training as an executive coach and my minister training to create a specific process to practice spiritual principles. It’s been transformative for me and the women I work with.

Benjamin Franklin, in his autobiography, describes practicing one “virtue” per week. He made a list of 12 virtues, sent them to a friend for input, and the friend observed that he could benefit from adding “humility” to the list. 😂

Good old Ben then decided to practice one of these virtues each week, and he created a calendar where he tracked his progress. This is the origin of the Franklin Planner.

13 “virtues” + 13 weeks in each quarter of the year = one virtue per week, and at the end of the quarter, start over from the top.

Pretty genius.

So what are the spiritual principles that underlie each of the 12 steps?

My answer to this question morphs over time. But here’s my current belief. As I say to the women I work with, this is KA not AA.

Step 1: Truth

Step 2: Consciousness

Step 3: Faith

Step 4: Courage

Step 5: Integrity

Step 6: Willingness

Step 7: Humility

Step 8: Love

Step 9: Forgiveness (self and others)

Step 10: Vigilance

Step 11: Cultivating awareness

Step 12: Service

And I add a 13th principle: Anonymity.

Then the question becomes, how exactly do I practice these?

Here are 7 days worth of practices for you to experiment with. For each, journal about what you’ve learned from your experiences and how you want to apply this principle in the future.

Day 1: What are the distinctions or dimensions or elements of this principle? For example, Courageous Honesty. We can lie outright (lies we commit), and we can lie by omitting pertinent information. We also know that honesty can be used as a weapon when it isn’t tempered by kindness. We’ve heard people say that they ask themselves three questions before they speak:

Is it kind?

Is it necessary?

Is it true?

Day 2: An intellectual understanding of each principle will only get you so far. The next area to explore is how this week’s principle shows up in your body. Ask yourself where “courage” (for example) lives in your body. When you think of this word/idea, what area in your body lights up or draws your attention?

Another way to explore this is to physically hold yourself in the posture of this principle. If that doesn’t land for you, start with asking yourself what your posture would be if you were practicing its opposite. For example, the opposite of courage might be fear. What is the posture of fear? Then physically move your body in the opposite way.

Instead of hunched shoulders, you may find your shoulders back. Instead of eyes darting from side to side, you may experience looking straight ahead.

Day 3: What is your resistance to practicing this principle? As soon as I think about practicing courage, all kinds of thoughts start flying around.

“I don’t feel courageous in X situation.”

“But I could never tell him what really happened.”

“I’ll blow up my life if I practice courage.”

Can you simply breathe through all of this resistance, accepting it as normal. Hold these thoughts and ideas with emotional neutrality. They are only thoughts. We do have the power to focus our attention wherever we want. Entertaining these guys will only make you unhappy.

Day 4: Substitute this week’s spiritual principle to your usual responses to situations at home.

Instead of yelling at my kids to put away their toys, I practice humility and forgiveness.

Instead of repeating the usual panicked morning routine, I practice vigilance and get prepared the night before.

I replace withdrawing when I’m feeling scared with courage.

Day 5: What is the ballast to this principle? Any virtue taken to its extreme becomes a problem. Openness without focus brings on extreme ADD and no center. Honesty without kindness and wisdom simply makes me an asshole. Vigilance without flexibility makes me rigid and demanding.

Day 6: Substitute this week’s spiritual principle for your usual way of being in a tough situation.

What you focus on grows.

If you focus on worry, anger, or how wronged you are, that will grow in your consciousness and your life.

Instead, experiment with redirecting your thoughts and your actions to this week’s spiritual principles every time you mentally rehearse your list of injustices or fears.

Do this about 3,827 times, and you’ll start to burn new neural pathways. Our subconscious when coupled with deliberate action will bring about a shift in your experience.

Day 7: Pause and reflect

What worked this past week? What didn’t?

What are the three key things you learned?

What nuggets can you take and continue to apply?