Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is all about happy thoughts while negative thinking is about dark thoughts. You cannot have OCD without over-analyzing things. Untreated mental illness is hell on earth, I have to say, and only because I'm saying it out loud that is such. I take my medication to make sense and sleep at night. I really do need it. Negative thinking is something that is only human to do. It doesn't make you a bad person but I grew up in the 1990s when negativity was banned. This is why Kurt Cobain was a suicide, he didn’t have anybody to hear him out and he was a drug addict.

Kurt Cobain's death happened at the end of 8th grade days before my birthday. I grew up with untreated pediatric-onset schizoaffective and OCD. I wasn't on medication but prone to mood swings that I had to work very hard to control without the help of medication to the point where this exercise was exhausting. Positive thinking is all about exclusion of negative anything, while pretending you do not feel bad. At least this was the 1990s definition of it, and part of the culture of the day.

He died between April 5th, 1994 and April 8th 1994; a sensitive yet tortured soul who was doing the best he could. Hiding depression can suck, but it was an expectation of the days from 1990-1999. I didn't get myself real medication until I was 20. I somehow survived not showing my true feelings to anybody. I couldn't admit my real feelings, and if you are depressed it goes away when you do say, "I feel like garbage," so talk about it already because you aren't getting any younger. If you expect to live a long time, you have to learn to deal with your feelings.

I know I'm going to live out the entire human life span, which my psychology text says is to 120, as I suspected. If otherworldly beings have technology to help earth humans not age as much, I suspect I will find a way to get access to some so I can live longer. I have learned how to deal with bad days when I feel down, by finding someone positive to encourage me. I'm supposed to be around a long time, and eventually my life will end someday, regardless of how many things I need to get done.

I have my ways of keeping myself busy anyway, only because positive thinking is part of my routine although it is realistic that you will have negative times. I was born with pediatric-onset schizoaffective but didn't have access to medication until I was 28 and sought treatment after a bit of a stalemate with some family members who wanted me to put off getting myself to a psychiatrist indefinitely. During this ordeal, I said to myself at one point, dang, I need medication regardless of what they say. I'm going to get myself some, regardless of what they say, and I'm going to do this without thinking about that.

So I did, and I'm as stable of a creature now as I could have been back then. I'm kind of the sort of person who actively seeks to keep a smile plastered on my face at all times. This is a fact of life for me, and a side effect of the positive attitude culture. It is a side effect of this reality. Positive this, positive that, I'm just floored by how ridiculous we were taught ways of dealing with depression in the 1990s, don't show it, don't say it, keep it to yourself. No. These days it is trendy to say I feel good because of my medication. I'm grateful for something that little but it is a good thing we can talk about our feelings more.

Works Cited

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain