Please Remember, Unless I Say Yes, I DO NOT Consent.
What is Consent?
Many times in my life, I have dealt with unwanted sexual touching and rape. I haven't said or done anything to bring this on myself, and as I was covered most of the time, I soon learned that what I was wearing made no difference. These weren't just men, they were women too. There is an obvious difference between someone who wants you to touch them, and someone who does not. If a person whether male or female pushes you away but doesn't verbally say stop, then she or he is telling you that they do not want touching in that way. It is NOT an incentive for you to carry on, just because that person did not verbally say it. I have seen both men and women get mad when a person rejects intimate touching and say some offensive things like:
"You weren't bothered when we first started."
"We are partners, I don't need to ask."
"We haven't come yet."
"There is no need to be tight."
I have also seen many men and women get annoyed when their partners tell them they are not in the mood. However, this is an awkward area, because it isn't just some partners who behave like this, It's friends, family and people we don't know. In effect I most stress, sex or sexual touching without consent is still RAPE. You don't need a penis to cause rape either, a women playing with another woman's genitals without her consent is still counted as RAPE, because it is unwanted and un-consensual contact with another woman's sex organs, the same can be said for two men. non-consensual contact can be defined as follows:
1. Having sex with someone who is sleeping, because a person cannot legally consent when they are asleep.
2. Sexual touching of any intimate part such as breasts, vagina, penis either without consent or if the partner has clearly pushed you away.
3. Using bondage in brutal ways, pushing against a wall, hitting, slapping intimate areas and forcing rough sex without the partners consent.
4. Penetration that obviously makes a partner uncomfortable, and without asking.
5. Forcing sex onto any person whether known or unknown without giving them a chance to consent.
6. Not respecting that person's 'no' and continuing what you are doing any way.
7. Spiking drinks/forcing a person to drink with a goal of being able to have sex with them against their will.
8. Using any form of drugs to distort a person's thinking, so they are unable to remember the events
10. Using purposeful violence in a bid to force-rape a person against their will.
11. Using non-consensual sexual acts to your own satisfaction, ignoring the persons complaints.
12. Sex with anyone under age is NEVER consensual in ANY WAY.
12. Mental health comes into play too. Having sex in a way that scares a vulnerable person into consenting, is NOT consensual.
In our intimate relationships, we all want to enjoy sex with the person we love. You don't have to tolerate doing anything that is uncomfortable, and if your partner respects you, he will respect your no. I also want to add to this, that rape and sexual assault is not just brought on in relationships, you'll know (if you have read my past stories) that I was raped and abused by many different people, mostly by those I did not know. Therefore rape, sexual assault and abuse can be brought on by anyone. I spent so many years suffering the psychological and mental damage from the trauma of these horrible events, so I understand that for the victim in particular, they are very difficult to talk about. Rape by a woman to a woman was a 'taboo' subject in the 90's which made it more difficult for me to talk about. So I have two things to say:
1. Don't do it. Consider the effects on the victim
2. It might take some time, but please tell someone, even if it is only a trustworthy friend. You can get through this, but it is important to talk about how you feel.
Thankyou for reading this article. I really appreciate tips which are optional, however please heart my work, it is free.
Also please read this link:
https://vocal.media/psyche/a-true-story-what-it-is-like-to-be-homeless
About the Creator
Carol Townend
Fiction, Horror, Sex, Love, Mental Health, Children's fiction and more. You'll find many stories in my profile. I don't believe in sticking with one Niche! I write, but I also read a lot too.
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