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Physical Attributes of Anxiety

You aren't crazy - They're Real

By Christine HoskinPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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You may believe you understand anxiety, but what you don’t realize is that everyone's experience is different. I did not used to have this disorder; I only suffered from major depression. Now, over the past two years, anxiety has presented itself rapidly in my life. It has grown to affect my daily tasks.

It began with urgency: bouncing my leg feeling like I need to get out of whatever place I am in. Over time it progressed: I have an inability to decipher a specific sound in a room. If there are multiple noises (talking, clicking, humming, multiple conversations, etc.) I become overwhelmed and begin to panic. Visual symptoms started to present themselves: my chest will flush a dark blotchy pink. Then the physical symptoms arise: heart palpitations or at times a racing heart. Again, this led to panic. Now, we have the most recent effect: tremors.

The tremors started as things in my life started to spiral out of control. My hands would shake and I would feel jittery. After a short time period my whole body started to tremble, including my jaw. My legs tremble when I am standing and can even make me feel like I am about to fall. The slight quiver in my hands worsened and I could no longer control it. My handwriting, grip on objects, and speech were all compromised. I was unable to make a strong grip on a pen to write; my eyes would twitch or move side to side, I couldn’t pick up a cup or utensil without it shaking, and my speech became broken (shaky, stuttering, and I couldn’t think of the right words or would say it completely wrong). It made me worry; which only caused more anxiety.

I admittedly am a hypochondriac and always believe something to be wrong with my body. In my family, Lou Gehrig's Disease is in the blood-line. This is more commonly known as ALS now. My grandfather on my Dad’s side of the family had his life taken over by this disease; eventually he passed. The presentation of tremors automatically made me become fearful that I was showing signs of Lou Gehrigs.

I went to my psychologist routine follow-up and mentioned my tremors to her. She decided to increase my Propranolol medication. I told her I had an upcoming appointment with a neurologist. She felt my symptoms were affected by anxiety and stress. Shortly after the increase in milligrams and frequency of Propranolol, I noticed an improvement. I still decided to see a neurologist to rule out the Lou Gehrigs.

So, I went to my appointment, and did not take my medicine for two days prior. This was to be able to visually show the doctor my tremors, and explained my family’s medical history. He had me do a sample of my handwriting so that if in the future it became worse, we could compare them. The neurologist had me:

  • Walk a line.
  • Hold my arms and hands out different directions.
  • Attempt to hold my hands steady.
  • Look at a pen move around while keeping my head straight.
  • Sit still while he checked my reflexes.
  • The list goes on...

He came to his conclusion about my symptoms. He explained that there are different types of tremors and I am clear of Lou Gehrig’s Disease. The doctor said I wouldn’t be the one to notice the symptoms if I had ALS; it would be someone else bringing me in. He called my involuntary shaking an Essential Tremor. This can be caused by anxiety; some people experience this before giving a public speech or something along those lines. The question of stress came along and any changes in my life. I explained that I had a suicidal attempt approximately six months prior. He asked if the Propranolol was working and I informed him that it was. He concluded the appointment with the recommendation to continue forth with the medication prescribed by my psychiatrist.

Prior to this, I didn’t want to believe that something as simple as anxiety could cause such distress to your body. I was incorrect, it is a complex disorder and, in fact, does present visible symptoms. Anxiety isn’t just something in your head that you’ve made up. It is physical and emotional. If you experience unexplained physical symptoms such as those I mentioned above: please see a doctor. You can have relief and your day to day mental status and physical ailments will improve. Don’t be afraid to address what is real because someone is telling you that you are making it up. Yes, I am a hypochondriac, but these were not symptoms I was performing on my own. They were uncontrollable and made me feel like I was frantically taken over by my own body.

Accept help, it is worth it. Let the professionals help you put the pieces of the puzzle together.

coping
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About the Creator

Christine Hoskin

𝑹𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝒘𝒊𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅, 𝒂𝒕 34, 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 3 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏. 𝑭𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒆, 𝒅𝒊𝒗𝒐𝒓𝒄𝒆, 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒈𝒆, 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆.

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