Christine Hoskin
Bio
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Stories (15/0)
My Fatherless Daughter is Turning Two
It's July 2023 and my daughter is turning two. We lost her Daddy October 31, 2022 to an accidental overdose mixing alcohol and medication. While unintentional, I am still left without my husband and my daughter without her father here with her. This beautiful young girl has so much of him in her. Her expressions, mannerisms, and personality all resemble him. I am tremendously grateful for that because he was an amazing human being. She will grow up to be an incredibly strong woman and I believe that with every ounce of my soul. However, tomorrow, I have to figure out how to emotionally manage the celebration of my daughter's second birthday without him.
By Christine Hoskin9 months ago in Families
The Weight of Simple Tasks with Chronic Depression
I am not a psychiatrist, nor a therapist. I have no education in this subject; I just live with it every single day. I have had depression ever since I can remember. It is part of who I am. The majority of my life it has consumed me. It has taken me to very dark places and it has been an ongoing battle to this day. However, I have learned to outlive it. I conquer each day and continue to percervier when the odds are not in my favor. Unfortunately, life seems to enjoy hitting me with a bag of bricks any chance it gets, but I'm still standing.
By Christine Hoskin11 months ago in Families
Six Months of Living Without My Husband
I have read books. I have listened to Podcasts. I have tried group therapy. I did EMDR therapy. I continue to receive virtual counseling each week. All of these and I am barely treading through the waters of grief. My own tears feel as though they could build an ocean. However, the bottom is not covered with sand, shells, or living animals. It is filled with memories, love, and my mentality. Floating at the top is the shell of my oversized body, facing down, bound by a weighted vest and flailing in attempt to grasp air.
By Christine Hoskin12 months ago in Families
The Number One Suspect
The fury that has built inside me while waiting on a toxicology report to finalize is a raging blue fire. Minds wander and accusations are made. The imagination the human population has the ability to conjure up is outstanding. One becomes the gossip of the town when there is an unknown, especially when the unknown is a cause of death. It is difficult to remain patient when a twist in the plot develops through gossip.
By Christine Hoskinabout a year ago in Families
Death is a Newborn
I am nearing the two-month marker of my husband's passing. I continue to cry frequently, sometimes I am able to choke it back down, other times it floods. There are days that I am still crippled and cannot remove myself from my bed. There are days that I conquer the dishes and Swiffer mop the floor. I am still in shock. It still doesn't feel real. I look at pictures and I am numb. Videos. Numb. It is excruciating to be numb when you know how much pain you are actually in.
By Christine Hoskinabout a year ago in Families
A Moment of Desperation
On my second day of working in the office, instead of remotely, it went well. I came in with make-up on planning to do my best not to shed those tears and even had a few laughs. I still wasn't able to concentrate though. My mind has been consumed by Jeff's death and all of the what-ifs.
By Christine Hoskinabout a year ago in Families
Ashes to Ashes
I had been avoiding picking up my husband's ashes for a while now; I was scared to. I didn't know how heavy he would be, what he would be packaged in, or how I would feel once he was in my hands. Today was the day though and while it was excruciating...he is home now.
By Christine Hoskinabout a year ago in Families
Accepting Help
This week has been hard and it is only Wednesday. I am tired. Really, really tired. At this point, if I could just stop everything in my life to just sleep, and it not affect anything, I would. Trying to grieve and raise three children is quite difficult. I am sure with time that will begin to ease. Even though that scares me...because it means I am fine living without my husband...and I'm NOT fine.
By Christine Hoskinabout a year ago in Families
A Few Weeks After
A few years ago, I started to open up about my emotional battle. During these unfortunate circumstances, I am learning even more about myself than I had previously discovered. The biggest discovery this time, is self-acceptance. This is me. Raw. Uncut. My Life. β¦and that is Fan-Fricking-Tastic.
By Christine Hoskinabout a year ago in Families
Letter to Myself
Dear Christine, Last year was life-changing for you. You changed your career and have taken off in both your personal and professional life. I expect that in this New Year, you are going to succeed in accomplishing goals that have been on your list for a long time.
By Christine Hoskin3 years ago in Humans
