Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

by Iria Vasquez-Paez 11 months ago in disorder

Medication Required

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

There are elements in my family that do not take medication for their OCD. You know who you are. These are people who cannot face up to the fact that they have a disability as I do, only I’m not impaired by it like you are. OCD makes you doubt yourself; did I leave the stove shut off? Did I leave the door locked? Is my house burning down while I’m away from it because the stove was left on? Am I doing this assignment for work right? Yes, I’m doing this assignment but I’m not sure if my boss will like it so I have to make it perfect, starting over a dozen times.

This is what OCD makes you do. This is what OCD feels like. Accounting may be a good profession for OCD people along with data mining but come on, you guys. You see, some people have poor insight into their mental illness much less realizing that medication can help you with your “I’m afraid to touch the dirty trash” phobia that is downright disabling. Why some people are not on medication is beyond me, save my two blood cousins who do not need medication.

OCD is painful to live with. It colors your entire life. Compulsions make you do things, obsessions make you think things, and compulsions are what OCD people not on medication feel they have to do, such as talk to a Republican even though they refuse to talk to liberals sometimes. Arch Republicans are not going to change their minds. That is plain and simple, the way it is. Some elements in my family are going to get themselves into trouble this way in the current political climate we are facing right now. OCD also makes you organize things, over and over again.

Another massive symptom of OCD is being way too organized. You organize your things repeatedly. Nothing is ever good enough. Some people have contamination phobias and clean their house a lot without giving themselves a break. These elements in my family are counting on people not noticing they have symptoms. As I have written in other articles, it is hard to put up a front with people because that is exhausting. Feeling bad all the time is not fun for anybody. You do not have to feel miserable because medication can make you happy. I plan on fighting the health care war in the United States with every breath I have.

OCD makes you think weird things, which becomes added to my own symptoms and I feel a guilt complex for raising my medication to around 15 milligrams of escitalopram to keep the thing I under control. Yes, I’m functional on this. I never want to feel bad again like I did in high school. Again to my high school friends, I’m sorry I was unstable without meds. I should have been on some but I didn’t get access to them. This is why the elements I speak of need to be something I stay away from. I cannot fool around with my mental health. I’m grateful I take medication to make myself feel better. Lamictal is fabulous. I’m able to be coherent in my writing because of it. I’m able to maintain good psychic boundaries because of it. I’m functional because of my meds, period and that is what I expect the metaphysical community around me to understand. I need not be a prisoner of my mental health anymore even if other people want to stay a prisoner. Not taking medication is a prison of your own design.

How does it work?
Read next: Never In the Cover of Night
Iria Vasquez-Paez

I have a B.A. in creative writing from San Francisco State. Can people please donate? I'm very low-income. I need to start an escape the Ferengi plan. 

See all posts by Iria Vasquez-Paez