Psyche logo

NPD 101 "For Dummies"

30 Common Traits Of Narcissism & How To Spot One!!

By Denyse M. SchwengelsPublished 2 months ago 33 min read
NPD 101                "For Dummies"
Photo by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash

30 Signs You Know Someone Who Might Be Suffering From Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD.

After narcissistic abuse, often you’re left feeling crazy, thinking that you are actually the narcissist, you’ve lost who you truly are and more. Learning what they do to you, helps you understand what you've been through and how to change the story of your life.

You are not alone in this, and once you start discovering what the narcissistic personality disorder is and what they do to you, you have a greater awareness and understanding to begin healing. life will become amazing again, you will begin to trust others again. Part of that journey is learning all about the narcissist, what they do to you and how to disarm them, so you know the red flags and walk away from narcissistic people in your life.

What’s narcissistic personality disorder?

Note: Not everyone who exhibits narcissistic tendencies has NPD, says Freitag. The only way to get a true diagnosis is to visit a clinician who specializes in mental health. 

There are multiple subtypes of narcissism that all fall under the umbrella term narcissistic personality disorder. The only medical diagnosis for narcissism is narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), says Stephanie Freitag, a licensed clinical psychologist at Westchester Child and Adult Psychological Services. 

It is important to learn about the different types of NPD :

1.The different types of narcissists.
2. Understanding the silent treatments.
3. Understanding the gaslighting.
4. Understanding the smear campaign.
5. Understanding the projection.

There are 5 types of Narcissist:

1. overt -the outward confidence and self-importance persistently projected by people with overt (grandiose) narcissism.

2. covert-People with covert (vulnerable) narcissism usually seem quiet, humble, and shy.

3. communal-these are all people who continuously seek to validate their self-perceived grandiosity, esteem, entitlement, and power—this type focuses on promoting him or herself through commitment to others, communal goals, and the supposed ability to listen and connect. Yes, this is very counterintuitive (aren’t narcissists supposed to be out for themselves?), but a strong case has been made for this type of narcissist.

4. antagonistic-is a subtype of overt narcissism. With this aspect of narcissism, the focus is on rivalry and competition. Some features of antagonistic narcissism include: arrogance. tendency to take advantage of others An antagonistic personality can be defined by traits such as narcissism, impulsivity and callousness. Someone who displays these traits is primarily concerned with their own self-interests and is more likely to manipulate and exploit others to achieve their goals.

5.Malignant narcissists- are often regarded as having the most extreme form of NPD, and while they will have the regular qualities of someone with narcissistic personality disorder, their self-absorption and self-obsession is accompanied by some darker behaviors as well. Which also involves antisocial behavior, sadism (deriving pleasure from the pain or suffering of others), and a paranoid orientation. This can be contrasted with other common types of NPD, such as grandiose narcissism which generally requires excessive amounts of attention and praise, and vulnerable narcissism which generally involves feeling vulnerable, defensive, and requiring support from others.

The term “malignant” in this case refers to being “aggressively malicious”, as defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Professionals often use the terms malignant narcissist and psychopath interchangeably.

ANY form of Narcissism can all affect how you see yourself and interact with others.

NPD involves an enduring and persistent sense of grandiosity, superiority, low empathy, and a profound need for attention and praise, among other symptoms of NPD.

The NPD condition is one of 10 personality disorders.

And there are many more, tools designed to help you eliminate the negative emotional affects these people have on your life, to deflect the games they play, and know the signs early on so you don’t get involved with them too deeply in the future.

Common Narcissist Characteristics
• Inflated Ego.
• Lack of Empathy.
• Need for Attention.
• Repressed Insecurities.
• Few Boundaries.

I have compiled a list of 30 of the most common traits or characters in those who suffer NPD. Diagnosed or undiagnosed, the commonalities of many who do have this disorder are uncanny. I had three of these people in my life, and eventually I cut ties with 2 out of 3 of these people. Two of them happened to be very close relatives, one being a sibling.
I cut ties with that sibling forever. Long term alcoholism (addiction)and NPD caused severe damage to my relations with other family members to this day.
I have learned because of many different factors, that blood is not thicker than water!
Most families are not out to support and love one another as society would have us thinking and believing!
I hope this article will help you gain some insight about NPD. I have also included some sage advice I have learned myself, peppered within this article.
I have experienced all 30 of these traits or behaviors first hand, so leave a 👍 like on my article if you too, have had experiences similar to mine!

#1. Unapologetic
Narcissists are people who never say sorry, even if they know that they’re at fault. It even comes to a point where they truly believe that they don’t have anything to say sorry about. Not only do they refuse to acknowledge their mistakes, they seriously think that their actions don’t need any excuses. Self-centered and self-righteous, they also believe they are above reproach. They cannot admit any wrongdoing because admitting so means acknowledging they have flaws.
Since they have trouble separating their actions from their character, they think that if they admit they did something wrong, then they’re bad people. But since they’re egocentric, it’s hard for them to accept that they did anything wrong and should assume responsibility to correct their mistake. They would rather lie than apologize. They will twist a story, change the facts, and retell it so convincingly that they will believe their blamelessness in their version of an incident

#2. Will Mislead You
It’s normal to ask others for their advice when you need it because that’s what friends are for. But when speaking with someone with NPD, be mindful that they will mislead you, pretty much every single time. Not only will they fool you into thinking that their advice is genuine, their actual goal is really to set you up for failure. They will pretend to always agree with you, smiling and nodding eagerly.
Some would even resort to flattery and commend your intelligence and your ideas. But they do so without sincerity or any real interest in what you have to say. These people would most likely steal your ideas and take credit for your work. This is common and expected of someone evil, particularly when you come up with an impressive proposal that other people appreciate and praise.

#3. Highly Egotistical
If you find that you have that one friend that won’t talk about anyone else but themselves, then chances are they are not good people. Most NPD persons fit this depiction very well. Regardless of your issues or your problems, the selfish nature of these people will just keep bringing the subject back to themselves and their issues. Since everything is about them, don’t expect them to listen to, or to even be remotely interested in, what you have to say. NPDs are the people who are busy typing or swiping at their phones while you’re talking to them. They would even yawn loudly when you’re speaking to show you how bored they are until you change the conversation to be about them.
Unlike real friends who listen, these people really don’t care and will rarely bring up topics you’ve shared with them in the past… when they weren’t listening to you. They are also self-absorbed, condescending show-offs who are extremely confident about their looks and achievements, and they would not fail to remind you how better they are compared to you and everyone else. This just proves that they are both egotistical and narcissistic, and this deep and dark need to feed their own ego, is really the only real concern.

#4. Your Time is of no value
People with NPD have not intention to care about anyone but themselves, and that goes for other people’s time as well. According to the NPD person, their time is valuable, and everyone else’s is just a second thought. They have a deep-rooted belief that THEY have priority and should always come first. Because they have no empathy, they don’t negotiate or compromise regardless of other people’s struggles. They only look out for their own needs and have no problem stepping on others to get what they want in life.
These are the same people who will demand that you make plans to spend more time with them, then will immediately disappear or cancel plans at the last minute when someone they find more useful or someone with resources they want or need, shows up. Even though they expect you to set aside everything for them, they have little or no respect for your time and these people don’t care about disappointing you.
It's the least of their worries! If you find that you are with someone, know someone, or may be dating one of these types of persons who has zero regard for you or your needs and wants, just keep on walking by them. Keep your chatting down to minimum. Tell them very little about your life, career, family or other bits of info that may be hi-jacked by an NPD person, do make your interactions with them short and brief.

#5. Controlling
NPD people need to be in control of all situations, regardless of how they manage to do it or who gets hurt along the way. It is second nature to them to assert their dominance or superiority over other people. They want to control everything and everyone around them. Being in control allows NPD people to go on with their deceitful ways in order to get what they want, having no regard for anyone else. It doesn’t matter what they need to do in order to gain control, or whom they might step on, just as long as their way is the only way, you may not see these signs at first.
They have no concept of boundaries and they are relentless in pursuing what they want. They get overly upset when someone disagrees with them, and they won’t stop until they’ve convinced or forced everyone to follow what they say, and believe in. Their need to be right all the time is overbearing, and people who are not completely aligned with them will either be forced to agree or rudely silenced.

#6. Incredibly Mean
There’s no other way to say it but those with NPD are just incredibly mean. Not only do they laugh at the expense of their supposed friends, but they also treat them horribly and put them down most of the time. All the while, they are brushing off their rude behavior by saying “just kidding” even though you know there is nothing funny about it. They purposefully say or do things that aim to hurt or belittle someone.
They find pleasure in being mean, and their actions are intentional and malicious. Because they are self-absorbed and have no regard for others, they find ways to feel good at the expense of other people. They confuse respect with fear, believing that they will gain respect by mistreating others. They obtain a sense of fulfillment by being mean, and they engage in mean behavior to gain attention and power. (Also see # 28 regarding animal cruelity.)
They believe that by having the ability to mentally or emotionally hurt someone, they have control over that person, and they become more powerful.

#7. The Blame Game
NPD persons are people will never accept that they are to blame for anything. They will always pass on the blame to someone else, even when they know that they are at fault. Not only will they turn every situation around to not get blamed, but they’ll also stop at nothing so that their own “impeccable” reputation can’t be tarnished. They avoid accepting responsibility for their failures by blaming others for causing it. It’s not that they don’t understand what responsibility is; they just refuse to take responsibility for their actions, but they will make you take responsibility for yours; right along with theirs.
If you confront them about their negative behavior, they will guilt trip you into thinking everything was actually your fault, and you’re horrible for insinuating they are to blame. So, they’re not only good at blaming everyone else, but they’re also highly skilled at playing the victim. They are masters of emotional blackmail.

#8. Belittling Others
NPD people love to belittle others, no matter how horribly it makes the other person feel. Belittling others makes them feel better, giving them an ego boost which makes them feel good while it makes others feel small. They’ll even claim that it’s ‘all for fun,’ when honestly, there is nothing fun about it.
They have a bad habit of relentlessly teasing other people about their weaknesses, failures, and insecurities. These people will shoot down all ideas, not because the suggestions are not good, but because they love to find fault in everything and everyone. And when they dismiss an idea, they won’t provide constructive feedback or other possible options. They’ll just happily point out all the flaws or defects in everything that they did not propose. Usually, it’s less about the suggested ideas and more about these people’s terrible attitude and behavior. It is best if dealing with an NPD at the work place, to be cordial but aloof, and kerp your new ideas to yourself until you can discuss them with a boss on your own!

#9. Make You Feel Weird
There’s a saying that goes, “Trust your gut,” which everyone should really practice more often. If someone makes you feel weird, or basically just gives you the creeps, then your gut is probably telling you the truth. It could be a new employee who repeatedly contacts you on social media and asks for your personal details. It could be someone you just met but sends you an excessive amount of text messages even after you’ve told him you’re out with friends. It could be a friend who gets extremely jealous over the smallest things and asks you to stop doing certain things or stop hanging out with specific people, without telling you why. These kinds of people do not respect your personal space and freedom, and they will continue to bother you even when you’ve told them you’re not comfortable or available to chat with them. Trust your gut and get away from these people. There’s a reason why people have intuition, that “gut feeling” that helps you decipher whether you’re in the right kind of situation or not. So, if you are sensing something is off, it probably is. And your inner moral compass will never steer you wrong!!

#10. Alter Ego
NPD people tend to live double lives if not more, never revealing their true identity to anyone. Not only do they have alter egos, but they have no qualms in fooling or manipulating anyone just to get what they want.
They are posers who can easily pretend to be someone else, feeling no shame in taking credit for another person’s accomplishments. Sometimes, they claim that they never get mad or upset just to lure more people in and increase their popularity, but this is just another persona they’ve crafted to make people believe they’re someone they are not. However, because they’re juggling many different egos, they also slip up and get confused with their lies. But if you question them, expect them to snap at you and disparage you because they do not like being put on the spot. Be wary of people that don’t care whether they are duping others for their own good, or for their own agenda! In fact, stay far, far away.

#11. Extremely Entitled
More often than not, NPD people feel extremely entitled for one reason or another. Most of them think that the world should just fall at their feet and that they are “owed,” but for what, no one really knows. And what’s worse is that when things don’t pan out in the way they believe it should, it’s everyone else’s fault but theirs. These narcissists have an over-exaggerated sense of self-importance, believing life owes them success, fame, and a high standard of living. They love to talk about themselves, and they will only listen to you if you’re talking about their successes.
They impose unrealistic demands on others, expecting family and friends to attend to their every whim, but they feel sorry for themselves if things don’t work out the way they wanted. Then, they’ll indulge in more than a little self-pity, being overly melodramatic and seeking attention because they believe they deserve every happiness. They also demonstrate double standards in the way they interact with other people; they can forget their responsibilities and commitments to others, but other people should always keep their commitments to them. This behavior is sickening! Know that you are not the problem here!!

#12. Over Confident
Most of the time, people say that confidence is a sexy thing, but when it verges on being overconfident, this statement becomes the furthest from the truth. While self-assurance is a good thing, arrogance is not. Be sure to watch out for these people whose egos are way too big for the rest of the world around them. These people have a superiority complex, and they act as if they are better than everyone else. Their feelings of superiority make them mean and sarcastic, and they throw insults that are very hurtful to others. Some of them truly believe they are superior to others because they were born into privilege. Others develop an attitude of superiority because of their achievements, and they think they could be rude to everyone who isn’t as successful. Then, there are people with an excessive sense of prestige because of their beliefs; they believe they are morally superior and know better than everyone else.

#13. Two-Faced
NPD persons can be two-faced, showing you one side while secretly living another. They will pretend to be your friend, but in reality, they are the furthest from a friend that you can get. They don’t have your best interests at heart. Aside from taking advantage of those that believe the friendship is true, they actually don’t do anything that a real friend would.
These false friends will talk about you behind your back. They will pretend to like you and agree with you, but then they’ll create stories about you. They will also only hang out with you if you give them things they want, act and dress the way they want you to, or follow a one-dimensional standard that they have set.
So, when trying to figure out whether someone is malevolent, or NPD you should always be on the lookout for these types of signs.

#14. Fakers
One would think that figuring out whether someone is fake or not is an easy task, but this is just not the case. A real friend will be sure to tell you the truth, no matter how painful that truth is. On the contrary, a fake friend wi⁹ll tell you what you want to hear, not caring about the consequences that may come from that. 
These false types of friends, are an NPD's engrained routine. These charater tell-tale precursors, will also blend well into social environments, they treat you differently depending on whomever is around you or them. Like a chameleon, their colors will change so quickly. They might tell you that they like you, but they will also ask that you keep your friendship a secret. When you greet them in public, they might even act like they don’t know you. They could be nice to you when you’re alone, but they might be distant or even mean to you when you’re with other people. However, it is highly likely that these people have no real friends because if they are fake to you, they will also be fake to others.

#15. Deceitful Nature
NPD people are terribly deceitful, never caring about how their actions affect others. These scheming NPD people will pretend to be your friend, earn your trust, and learn your secrets. They will say they’re happy for you when you share good news or your success with them, but in truth, they are envious and jealous. Then, you’ll learn that they become terrible blabbermouths who can’t keep their mouth shut. They will talk about you when you’re not around, and they’ll create stories that allow for intrigue, jealousy, rivalry, and oppression about you, using the knowledge and secrets you once entrusted them with!
Deceitful NPD people are jealous
and judgmental, and they’ll be tossing out criticisms and negative opinions in public and in private. They will spread rumors that promote disharmony and cause a myriad of conflict. They’re also extremely insecure, and they will fabricate stories that can either make them appear better than you to damage your reputation. They will do absolutely anything and everything in their power, no matter how wrong or how malicious, just to achieve whatever illusions they might have in their negative jealous mind.

#16. A Fantasy World
NPD people live in some sort of a false fantasy world, allowing their twisted minds to believe that it’s true rather than face the reality of their actual lives. Some have even passed lie detector tests simply because they have reiterated those false fantasies aloud so many times, they start to believe them to be true. This type of escapism makes it that much harder for them to accept the truth. Plus, they will do whatever they can to protect this fake life, living only for themselves, and not caring about how horrible they are to others while doing it.
Since they crave admiration and adoration, they will create fantasies revolving around their supposed power, intelligence, beauty, and brilliance. Unfortunately, they shape these fantasies so well, these fabricated stories become fact to them. In their fantasies, they are faultless, and they can choose any alter ego they want. They completely believe the alternate world they’ve created in their heads that reinforces all their expectations, needs, and beliefs. Their memory of real-life challenges and the responsibilities associated to them, are nowhere near as glamorous as the truth. Especially in places where they need to conform to a standard they did not set, tends to fade into the background. Sometimes right before you, and this is scary when it comes down to the reality of this facet of the NPD's personality make-up.

#17. Zero Remorse
Fighting with people, even those we love, is just an inevitable part of life. Unlike most people, who feel bad about what happened and try to fix the problem before it becomes irreparable. NPD people couldn’t care less about how the other person feels. They have zero remorse if they treat others horribly, and have no guilt or shame for their vicious actions. Excuses are common among NPD types.
People that show no remorse are often called sociopaths. A sociopath is a technical term for a person with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). They have no fear, and they don’t care how other people see them unless it leads to their exposure, preventing them from displaying more antisocial behavior. They break rules and make reckless decisions without feeling guilty if or when they cause harm. They can do the most wicked things and feel no remorse about the consequences of their actions. Including murder, theft and battery or abuse. One can say they don’t have a conscience, and without a conscience, they don’t feel bad about any negative behavior or damage they do to anyone, including themselves.

#18. Life Revolves Around Them
More often than not, NPD people truly believe that the world revolves around them. Their sense of importance and relevance is so bad that they can’t imagine that they are not the center of every single situation. It’s too much of a slap in the face for them to think that they aren’t the reason for the sun to shine each day!  Everything has to be about these attention-seekers. When they talk, they want people to listen. However, when it’s another person’s turn to share, they’ll be on their phones, or they’ll just pretend to listen. When other people are talking, these narcissists are thinking you’re wasting their precious time, and you owe them something for doing that. Because they allowed you to have your turn in the spotlight.
These are the same people who will dump all their negative views on you. They will rant about their problems and how unfair the world is and how other people are to blame for everything that’s gone wrong in their lives. If you want to give them some helpful advice, remember that they don’t want to hear what you think; they just want you to sit there and be their emotional punching bag.

#19. Fairweather Friends
Because NPD people don’t think about anyone else except themselves, and their own needs, they couldn’t care less about your needs on any level⁴⁴4⁴. These fair-weather friends will only call you when they need you but are never there for you when you need them. In fact, it is always about them, 100% of the time.
They are users of the highest order! These people are parasites who don’t want to use their own resources, so they’ll contact you to use yours. They are abusive and will take advantage of your kindness and generosity. For sure, they’ll be grateful you’re there when they need you, but when it’s your turn to ask for help, they’ll see your needs as a nuisance. They will always prioritize their wants, and they’ll never take your needs seriously because your needs are not relevant to their personal agenda. If ever they do help you, they will not fail to remind you that you owe them, and the “payment” they’ll demand from you soon will ensure they get everything they want from you.

#20. Ulterior Motives
Immoral by nature, NPD people make sure that they do “nice” things for certian select people, not because they are actually nice but because they can use it to their advantage so that they can get something in return. They will make it seem like they are just being selfless to the outside world, but deep down inside, they are already planning exactly how they are going to twist it for their own benefit.
They’re exceedingly selfish, and they will not help you if they think they won’t benefit from it. Thinking only about their self-interests, they make friends with you and see what they can get from you. It could be anything of value, such as money, access to your social circle, free food, free rides, or career opportunities. Career advancement, among other things. At work, these people only pay attention to those in positions of power. They are looking for the easiest way to climb the management ladder. You’ll notice that these people are proactive when the boss is around, but once the boss steps out, they’re back to being lazy procrastinators, who call upon you and other colleagues to compensate, while they steal the credit for other peoples hard work and labor.

#21. A lot Of Enemies
Most of the time, NPD people tend to be overly friendly only to hide the fact that they have tons of enemies. They will constantly tell you that they are a nice person. However, you’ll notice that they have no genuine friends, and they tend to talk negatively about everyone from their past. They will tell you they had a falling-out with certain people because they were misunderstood. But like most NPD people, they can’t continue to fool everyone forever as their past will eventually catch up to them.
Soon you’ll realize why they don’t have friends when they start talking behind your back and pointing out everything that’s wrong with you. You might even join the pool of enemies when you realize these wicked people are selfish, egoistic, manipulative, and abusive liars. If you don’t want to find yourself in the “frenemy” category, then just steer clear of them from the start. Been a keen observer in your surroundings at work and social events can be a great way to spot an NPD in your environment.

#22. Natural Born Haters!
Most of these villainous NPD people are full of hatred. Not only do they feel incredibly high and mighty, where their thoughts and emotions are concerned. Their feelings and drama fests are more important than anyone else’s! They also tend to be racist, homophobic, bigots, and will rise to bash other people’s beliefs and values. And to top it all off, they don’t think that there is anything wrong with what they are saying, nor do they see these things about themselves! At work, they will complain about everyone and everything. They will vent about the boss, their colleagues, the clients, the computers, the work, and even the drinking water. It's exhausing to live with these types of people!
Among friends, they will criticize your clothes, your hair, your car, the way you talk, and maybe even the way you chew your food. You’ll find that most of their issues are quite unreasonable and offensive, and if you tell them so, expect them to lash out at you. All this irrational hatred toward people, actions, and the things they find disdainful are a screaming red flag that you’re dealing with an NPD type, and a highly toxic person.

#23. Unreliable
NPD people couldn’t care less about the things that are important in your life, making them very unreliable as well. They are NEVER there for you when you need them the most, but they also tend to flake on you over and over again, without giving thought to your feelings. They will pretend to please you by making promises they can’t keep and taking on responsibilities they have no intention of accomplishing. They will appear to agree with your request, but they will procrastinate and take forever to complete the task. Most times doing so intentionally. They won’t complain to you, but they will show their displeasure by not doing anything, dragging out simole tasks, or making a display of a menial job that any fool can accomplish.
They will not keep their promises or commitments, if they don't serve an ulterior motive and even if they do make some progress, they will rarely deliver on time unless they get something better in return. If you call them out for missing a deadline, or overlooking an important detail of the job, they’ll get upset with you and would most likely drop the task altogether. Leaving you hanging, and having do all of the work yourself. If you have any people in your life that happen to be like this, then it’s time to seriously reevaluate that relationship and just call the quits altogether! Especially with business partners or Co Owners in business together! Your chances for gaining success, will increase 60% or more the minute you do!!

#24. Can’t Be Trusted
If you can’t trust a friend, then are they really a friend at all? Real friends have qualities you can count on, like being kind, dependable and loyal. A true shoulder you can lean on. Fake friends, NPDs and sociopaths have mastered the art of deception. They appear genuine and supportive, but it’s just an act to draw you in. They will say nice things to your face then mean things behind your back, they tell your secrets to anyone willing to listen.
They will continually bail on you, proving that they are not genuine friends at all. They might even see you as a threat or a rival, and they will spread rumors to hurt your reputation. These rumors and outright lies can be devasting and can wreck your reputation and career. And can Next thing you know, they’ve created a small army of gossipers spreading rumors that do not only hurt you but also negatively affect the entire workplace.

#25. Not A Real Friend
People that are severely NPD are two-faced, showing you one side while secretly living another. They will pretend to be your friend, but in reality, they are the furthest from a friend that you can get. They don’t have your best interests at heart. Aside from taking advantage of those that believe the friendship is true, they actually don’t do anything that a real friend would. These false friends will talk about you behind your back. They will pretend to like you and agree with you, but then they’ll create stories about you.
They will also only hang out with you if you give them things they want, act and dress the way they want you to, or follow a one-dimensional standard that they have set. So, when trying to figure out whether someone is malevolent, you should always be on the lookout for these types of signs.

#26. Compulsive Liars
NPD people have no problems faking it, fabricating stories, and telling lies just to get people to think that they have accomplished something great in their lives. They always have a new story to tell about a secret admirer, an unexpected but much-deserved promotion, or anything that would make them appear more important. To make matters worse, they not only lie about themselves, but they make up lies about other people too, not caring whom they hurt in the process. They enjoy badmouthing even their closest friends, and they’ll make up stories to get people on their side. And if that isn’t bad enough, if those lies catch up to them, they’ll just make up another one or worse, blame it on you. They thrive on others’ misery, and the more miserable other people become, the better they feel about themselves. These compulsive liars also tend to add words such as “to be honest”, “to tell you the truth”, and “believe me” just to emphasize their alleged truthfulness. It’s exhausting to have a compulsive NPD liar in your life because you’ll always doubt their words. And if you’re concerned they might spread rumors that could be devastating to your reputation or career, start distancing yourselves from this person immediately. It will lessen the damage they will no doubt cause you in the end.

#27. Joy In Your Failures
As horrible as it sounds, malicious NPD people enjoy other people’s misfortune. Not only do they actually like it when others fail, but they actually hope that it won’t be the last time. If they’re pretending to be your friend, they will ignore your efforts at success and even discourage you. They’ll quickly pinpoint and highlight why things won’t go your way. Worse yet, evil people will add fuel to the fire and try to make the situation worse in any way they can.
They see other people as rivals or competition, threatening their own success, so they will find ways to sabotage other people’s performance and set them up for failure. They will undermine other people by highlighting their mistakes, demeaning their achievements, directly challenging them and putting them on the spot during meetings, or crack a joke at their expense. If you know someone like this, keep your distance unless you want to find yourself in the center of the fumes.

#28. Mean To Animals
You can’t expect every single person to like animals, but if someone treats an animal horribly, there is something wrong with that person!! Animal cruelty is a telltale sign that someone might actually be incredibly violent, especially if they find pleasure in hurting "things". Some, but not all NPD people enjoy hurting animals because it makes them feel powerful. They like the idea that they can inflict pain and instill fear, showing their control over an animal. Others simply enjoy the exercise in pain and violence. This is behavior is called sadomasochisim. And is a VERY dangerous sign according to esteemed psychologists all over the world.
Many of these people will easily move on from hurting animals to hurting humans. Abduction, capture, torture and pain are always the gial with these types of people. 35% of all diagnosed NPD cases have secondary diagnosis of sadomasochisim prevalent in their psychological makeup. So, if you happen to know someone who is outright mean to your dog, trying to hurt or torture pets, or innocent animals, their own pets or any animal on any capacity, never invite them to come back to your home ever again! Better yet, just end the friendship right then and there!! Then alert a family member about this behavior or report them to the proper authorities please! YOU may be the next target of this kind cruelity before you know what hit you, thats how dangerous these types people can be!

#29. Believe They’re Right
NPD people will always believe that they’re right, no matter whom they are talking to, or what they are talking about. They won’t take anyone else’s thoughts or feelings into account because they’re incredibly arrogant, opinionated and they consider their own views of things like religion or politics as fact. They always need to be right. Unfortunately, to maintain their image of faultlessness, they are not above criticizing and laughing at anyone whose views might oppose their own. While debating with others, even if they are at the losing end, they will insist that what they think is the absolute truth, and will refuse to lose face. And rarely back down. They are like rabid animals in their veracity and tenancy to change the minds of opposing arguements or debates.
If you find yourself dealing with someone like this, don’t even bother arguing because they won’t let you win… EVER. They will stop talking and hanging out with you when you have a disagreement. They are inflexible and are not willing to compromise their beliefs for the sake of friendship or even to maintain a diplomatic or professional relationship. They’re not tactful, or elegant when and where it counts the most. They will stubbornly insist on whatever it is that they want, until you agree with them. If you don’t cave in, or if you introduce a new idea that doesn’t support theirs, expect these fake friends to disappear at best, but not without consequences on some level or another. Watch your back if you find yourself in this predicament!

#30 Highly Manipulative
NPD people don’t care about the repercussions of their actions, so long as they aren’t the ones being affected by those actions. NPD people that are malicious are also manipulative, making sure that what they say IS THE LAW, regardless of how it happens or whom they might hurt in the process.
Evil NPD manipulators will persuade, lie, do anything that they can just to get what they want, and they won’t have any feelings of remorse, not even a little smidge. Their goal in life is to make other people feel guilty then completely control them to get what they want. Its all about the Power & Control here. They believe that their method is the best and only way because it guarantees their needs are met, and since they put primary importance on their own needs, that is all that matters. What other people think, feel, need, and want, does not matter. They will take advantage of other people’s emotional sensitivity and sympathy. They will abuse your kindness and helpfulness and will reel you into their "fakeness" just to dupe you, or to help them get what they want from you and other people.

advicepersonality disorder

About the Creator

Denyse M. Schwengels


Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights


There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2023 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.