Never Forget

"Who are you?"

A distant voice called through the darkness.

I felt numb, heavy. I didn't understand the question, couldn't comprehend the words. How was I sup-posed to answer?

My body and my spirit were so tired. All I wanted was sleep...to just remain in this comfortable state on nonexistence.

"Who are you?"

The voice echoed again, this time causing a sensation in the back of my head. The discomfort caused my muscles to twitch, forced my awareness forward in my mind. As the words echoed, they began to form meaning. Hesitantly, I opened my eyes, fearful of what I might see, fearful that it would be the reason I chose this void in the first place.

But I saw nothing.

My thoughts were lagged, and my heart was weary. I had been one with this emptiness for so long. Was I ready to leave it?

"Who are you?"

The voice was louder this time. I repeated the question aloud and was startled at the sound of my own voice. It was so clear and somehow...relieving. I took in a deep breath, filling my lungs with cool air. It made my insides hurt, made them burn as they were given a purpose again.

But the pain meant I was alive. For what felt an eternity, I had begged for death, pleaded for the pain to stop. And when it did, I lost all senses. I lost myself. I'd forgotten who I was.

I looked around as shapes began emerging from the darkness. Music notes, flowers, bits and pieces of artwork and books...were these the things I enjoyed? I moved my arm and reached for one of the flowers and, upon receiving my touch, it gave off a soft glow. I felt a change in my face. What was this? A smile...?

I touched another and it, too, glowed. This was fun! Who knew my touch held such magic?

I became more aware of myself and realized that I was floating. What a feeling, the butterflies in my stomach! A sound escaped my lungs: laughter. I was laughing! Gosh, my laugh was a silly noise.

I continued reaching for shapes and making them light up, and soon the voice had turned into a night sky, filled with music and art and love. I relaxed in awe of what I had created.

"Who are you?"

The voice called once more and this time I noticed a light, one that had been shining below me the entire time. The voice was coming from the other side.

Once again, I filled my lungs, and this time I answered back: "I am me! I am made from stardust and beauty and pain and there is nobody else like me!"

The light rushed up and engulfed me. For a moment, I was blinded by the brightness and made deaf by the ringing in my ears.

When I was able to see, I saw green trees, blue skies, and vibrant gardens. When the ringing faded, I heard birds singing and music playing. I truly was alive. I was live and I was real!

My heart pounded as I felt the grass between my toes and the breeze against my skin. I laughed and twirled with the music, my fingers brushing against the flower petals.

As my dancing slowed and then stopped, I caught myself on the bathroom counter and regained my balance. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and saw all of my imperfections- my freckles, my split ends, my extra rolls and even shapes- and I saw how beautiful it all was. It all made this capable body, this home to a beautiful and unique soul.

I let out another laugh and wiped away my tears. I wouldn't forget the darkness...it would always be a part of me. But so would the light. I was a little more imbalanced and a little more flawed than the rest, but as long as I could remember who I was, I knew I could survive.

I leaned forward and kissed my reflection. "I love you."