My tattoos meaning.

So the meaning behind this ‘simple’ tattoo is for my late boyfriend.

Growing up I always wanted to be a tattoo artist. I done my first tattoo on my boyfriends dad in a caravan when I was 16. Wasn’t the best, but he trusted me and I needed to start somewhere. I also tattooed my boyfriend, we were both 16 at the time, and I tattooed a little blue star on his wrist. I finally got an apprenticeship at 19 and was on my way to my dream career. Me and my boyfriend spent an evening together in May and he helped me tattoo the Sun and moon one on my wrist (was before I knew how to tattoo properly as you can tell! Haha) I then cleaned everything and get another needle out and tattooed a simple Greek Spartan helmet on his arm, his turned out alright.

We were together for 3 and a half years. He had always suffered with his mental health, but no one knew how bad it was. He took his own life on 6th July 2017. My world fell apart. My last night I spent with him I can remember laying there just thinking how perfect my life was. Perfect relationship, perfect job, I was happy. It all ended suddenly when I got the phone call from his mum crying down the phone at me, I went into shock and can’t remember much after that.

The day after his funeral I went back to the studio and began training again. It was a long hard journey but I’m finally where I want to be. I put my all into it, and now i’m tattooing full time and I’m loving every moment of it. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, but I know it isn’t the end of this journey and there is a lot of complicated grief surrounding losing him to suicide...I miss him every single day, and will always love him, but I know that life does go on and I’m going to live it for him.

I have a few tattoos done in his memory. I have his name ‘Haiden’ on my other wrist, with the blue star in the same place I tattooed on him when we were 16. I had the Spartan (in the picture) tattooed in the same place and size I tattooed on him. And I’ve still got the sun and moon tattoo on my wrist I done that night. I remember laughing and turning round and saying to him “it’s because you are my sun and you are my moon” and we both laughed at how cheesey it was.

I plan on having another tattoo done in his memory. A little fox. Sounds silly but it has a story behind it...we used to go out for walks in the evening and see foxes all the time. I was down the cemetery last year talking to Haiden and I asked him for a sign and il accept it (I’m abit if a skeptic and wouldn’t really accept signs but this time I said I would) that night I had not 1 but 2 fox cubs come up to me at the cemetery...the cemetery was on a hill and I could see little eyes beaming in the distance, only by chance I called them down and they both bolted it down the hill and sat in front of me! Very curious little foxes. it was very emotional, right by my late partners grave side too. I left the cemetery in shock that night from the sign I received. As I was walking out the cemetery I turned around, and the mother fox followed me and was sat in the middle of the path watching me. Was the most surreal experience, and il never forget that, I thanked him so much for that sign. So I think that will be my next tattoo.

Thankyou for reading,

Calli x