My Kundalini Awakening

So first, I'd just like to dive in a little bit on what my understanding of a kundalini awakening is, and then I will delve into my personal experience in the situation. Thanks for reading!

In the most simple terms, it is a powerful experience in enhanced self awareness.

These are some of the long term changes a kundalini awakening can initiate including:

~Feelings of bliss

~Enhanced psychic abilities

~More compassion and empathy

~Better creativity

~Increased spiritual connection with the universe

~Feeling aligned and grounded

I understand that you can intentionally initiate an awakening through different things like yoga, meditation, prayer, and pranayama (or breathwork). Or it's very possible for it to happen without warning.

But as much as you might like to have magical powers and be able to initiate it any time you desire... that's not how it works. Yoga tradition states that you don't have control over how or when your kundalini energy will awaken.

Everyone's process is uniquely individual, and can be quite unpredictable.

So what are the signs of a kundalini awakening?

They say when you experience these, it is your kundalini energy trying to get your attention to make certain changes that your soul desires.

There are a few "symptoms" to tell if your kundalini is awakening.

~Experiencing a heightened intuition

~The sudden urge to make life changes

~A deep sense of purpose and destiny

~Physical and emotional changes, including with sleep, anxiety, surges of energy, and shaking or tingling

This is just a small list, and there is much more you could research about the kundalini awakening. And I encourage you to, but now I am going to move into my personal experience with my own awakening.

Let me start this off by saying that several years ago I was researching this type of awakening, and even tried to initiate myself into it, but it never happened. So I kinda put the thought of it away. So when this happened it was completely spontaneous and unintentional... But my goodness, was it impactful!

I believe a couple factors to be what helped create the atmosphere, but again, I had no intention of this happening. Although I had consumed mushrooms several hours earlier, as I do on occasion, to help me reconnect with the universe.

I had been fighting this nasty viral cold for almost two weeks straight, and it was really starting to weigh on my mental health. I get deprerssed and just generally exhausted when I'm sick too long, and this was really starting to take its toll on me.

Several hours after I had eaten the mushrooms, I was feeling upset because I didn't get the desired effect, I was hoping it was gonna help me feel a little better. I just felt so drained. I was sitting in bed, and felt really tense in my body, so I leaned my head forward and took a deep breath.

I started pressing on pressure points on my temples, trying to relieve some tension. It felt pretty nice, so I continued pressing on different points while taking deep breaths until reached a certain point on the back of my neck.

It was the craziest feeling. It was like as soon as I pressed on it, my brain just started releasing all this pressure. The best way I can describe it, it that my brain had been holding its breath, and for the first time in a long time, it took a deep breath in.

Then a thought came to my mind,

"Be in the moment, let go of all your thoughts."

Hmmm ok, well I have tried this mindfulness practice before, so I figured why not give it a go.

It's like my fingers intuitively knew exactly where to press to get my mind into the state it was suddenly in, because this by far, was the most present and grounded in the now that I have ever felt.

I've only been able to empty my mind for small moments at a time, but this was something different, it was complete stillness.

In this stillness was the most profound peace I have ever felt. I was completely present in my body, all thoughts aside, I was just here and in the now of the very moment.

And suddenly the tension being relieved from my head and neck started moving down through my spine and I could feel different muscles throughout my entire body starting to release.

And with that came this profound awareness that there was something deep inside of me, emotionally, that was being released. Something toxic that has been plaguing me and keeping me sick inside. Something I have spent years trying to get rid of. I couldn't identify exactly what "It" was, but I knew it was something that has been causing me great pain. I could feel this emotion litterally being pushed out of my body through my muscles, and suddenly my heart was filled with the most deep and joyous gratitude I have ever felt in my life. It was a life or death, you just saved my life... kind of gratitude. I started bawling uncontrollably as I felt this release continue to happen in me.

I realized soon after that I was experiencing multiple somato emotional releases (I learned of these many years ago, when I went to school for massage therapy).

As I sat there crying with a heart full of gratitude another awareness hit me that made my heart so sad. Suddenly it was like this blanket was pulled from over me, and I was able to see all these different ways I have been keeping myself stuck in life, ways I have been holding myself back.

But then there was a sudden joy, because I also saw my full potential, I saw how much value and love I have to give, and I saw how much greatness I have that I am meant to be sharing with the world.

It was a very complex moment for me, but it unlocked something so much deeper.

See, my relationship with "God" has been somewhat lacking for many years, since I was a child really.

I grew up with a very radically religious family, my step dad being a pastor who held some very extreme views. And long story short, the way I was raised was very fear based. Obey or you will suffer an eternity of hellfire... That's a lot to put on any child. And as hard as I tried to hold blind faith in that like the rest of my family and church members, so much of it just never sat right with me. This God of such hate and wrath just didn't feel like any kind of real creator to me. And alas, these teachings ultimately pushed me away from any idea of God whatsoever.

See the weird thing is, I don't believe in the hell I was raised to, it doesn't feel right to me, yet... that subconscious fear of going to hell has stayed inside of me, enough so that it has stopped me from pursuing what does feel like truth to me. This irrational fear has been holding me back in so many ways, and this moment was making that very clear.

Then the most amazing thing happened, I could suddenly feel that trauma, like physically in my body. I could feel it's presence, plus this awareness of how it's been keeping me sick on all these different levels, but best of all, I could literally feel this fear moving out of my body. And it was then I realized that the universe was answering one of my deepest prayers. I have spent years fighting this fear, and allowing it to keep me from moving forward spiritually. I have spent countless hours crying, praying, begging for it to finally let me be. And this was the moment the universe showed me miracles exist, because just as quickly was that fear there, had it been replaced with unconditional love, and a knowing that I'm on the right path.

I became aware I am ready to move forward on my spiritual path, but that I am the one who has to make that happen. Because of this fear, I have been to afraid to seek out other truths, and therefore have not been nurturing myself spiritually. I realized that I have been frozen in this same place, waiting for some definitive sign or answer for what truth is... But that is never going to happen because the truth isn't an occurence on the outside of me waiting to happen, but that the truth is already in me. But it is my job to nurture it, just like a baby, until it grows and blooms into what it is meant to be. And the only way that is going to happen is for me to start making positive actions toward what feels more true to me.

I had the awareness that so much of my mental health issues are because I have been holding myself back spiritually, and I was reminded how for me as an individual, spirituality is a necessity for my mental well-being.

It was like I was finally able to see all these patterns in myself, and where I need to readjust myself and my expectations.

It felt like my soul finally let go of trying to control, and instead it just surrendered to the universe, knowing that I have been fighting against myself this whole time. It's like I've been begging for water, but when a cup was handed to me, instead of going to the well, I've just been filling it with my own shit!

It's about that time that the realization hit me that I was experiencing a kundalini awakening. It was the same moment I realized I had just experienced an incredible internal shift, and the realization hit me that from this point forward I can no longer be that same person, for those old beliefs were no longer holding me captive. The chains were lifted, and I am now set on a different path, I could feel my timeline shifted to a more positive one. I am not the same person, and I will never hold those same views again. And for that I am so grateful.

I am also aware that this new journey is not going to be an easy one, I have a long way to go. But for the first time in a very long time, I feel like I'm getting on track to being my most authentic version of my self, all fear based trauma, while still a memory, now also feels like just that.

You no longer have a hold of me. I am finding my truth. I set my own path.

Thank you so much for reading my experience! Have you had a similar experience? Let me know!