Movies that are so bad, they’re so good

Have you ever watched a movie and thought, this movie is absolutely bonkers. It’s so hard to suspend your disbelief, because the whole time you’re watching, you think your silly friends somehow found their way into a documentary and are now social actors in this nonsense rather than trained actors. Movies you can’t help but cry at how silly it is and be prompted to make an IMDB profile just to leave a comment on just how much it was a waste of your life. And how you’d do anything to get those hours back. The funny thing about these kinds of movies is, they’ve done their job. Sometimes we watch movies, purely for entertainment purposes, to feel good and watch the villain suffer or die at the end. We want some sort of a resolution and satisfaction that the character we are rooting for must win a lottery or be vindicated. But when it comes to these kinds of movies, they’re so stupid yet they’re so evocative. And the entertainment factor comes from you laughing at how unbelievably annoying it is. It sticks with you longer and you can’t help but just...laugh.

There are many such movies, especially on streaming websites like Netflix. I’m pretty sure some of you might have just seen the latest Netflix movie—Deadly illusions. Yh, that one. I don’t have to be a psychic to know that many people find the movie silly, somewhat meaningless and just bat shit crazy in general. That in addition to the 1/10 reviews on IMDB, the tags on google and the being rated the worst Netflix original till date. I don’t know about you, but the moment I see a nanny in a movie where one of the characters has to go to work, I automatically know what’s going to happen. Seriously, you’re going to hire a very good looking young nanny and leave her alone with your spouse?

But this movie disappoints you, literally and metaphorically, because no, you have no idea what’s to come. Absolutely no idea at all. And it’s a rollercoaster of WTF, which part is real or unreal, suggestive sexual scenes and the ending— well the ending just leaves you completely flabbergasted and might leave you thinking for a few hours. All of these is wrapped in beautiful well-shot scenes, almost poetic, almost ethereal. As much as people hate this movie, I actually recommend watching it, because it’s so bad, and to me, that makes it a good watch. You might want to cry about two thirds into the movie and wonder why the scriptwriter decided to trick you and then mess things up, or throw your remote at your TV for even choosing to watch the movie in the first place. And you’d most likely send a message to your group chat and organise an ending deciphering session to figure out WTF just happened. But when a movie evokes that many feelings in you, it’s usually an entertaining and interesting watch.

My score for this movie is 0.002/10.

Mood for watching this movie - Frisky

Mood after watching this movie - Adventurous

Where to watch - Netflix

Behind her eyes, 2021, psychological thriller

Now if Deadly illusions made you want to cancel your Netflix subscription, please don’t do it yet, because another series you want to check out is behind her eyes. Yes yes yes, you’re probably looking at me sideways and thinking, girl if you don’t get out of here!

I know a lot of people enjoy this series for a lot of reasons. First, it’s mind-bending, could easily pass for an extended black mirror episode, it’s got romance, family, betrayal, sci-fi elements and even spiritual themes. It’s packed with a lot of tropes that makes for a very entertaining watch, and leaves you at the edge of your seat wondering what’s going to happen next. But I actually enjoy this series for a completely different reason, it’s so hard to suspend your disbelief, and what ties the plot together is something the researcher for the movie hasn’t quite figured out properly. It’s based on a pseudo-scientific phenomenon you might have heard of, and everyone interested in this phenomenon will tell you that’s not the way it works at all. This ultimately makes the ending a very lazy ending, which leaves you once again thinking and waiting for the next season to satisfy all your burning questions. It’s also very evocative, and you’re immersed into the storyline to the very end, though it’s very slow burn to start with. I am not going to give you any spoilers, as the twist in the movie will leave your mouth agape for a few seconds, but this one is definitely an entertaining watch. Nonetheless, it still makes my stupid-but-good list.

My score for this series is 3.9/10

Mood for watching this series - Curious

Mood after watching this series - Choked up

Where to watch - Netflix

I care a lot, 2020, thriller/comedy

At this point, you might just cancel your Netflix subscription, and you might be looking for another platform to watch movies on. Well, you might want to check out “I care a lot,” on Amazon prime. This movie honestly annoyed the fuck out of me.

I have never rooted for a character to mistakenly end up dead as I have for the lead characters in this movie, and I’m 100% certain you’d feel the same, joining the thousands of reviewers on IMDB. The plot is so unfair, and you watch the lead characters take advantage of very vulnerable people. Don’t be tempted to switch off the movie and go to bed in the first few scenes, however, as the entertaining annoyance continues. What keeps the viewer watching in this movie, is the fact that you’re waiting for justice to start, and for the villains to finally reap the fruit of their labour. But all of a sudden, the movie will take a completely different turn, one where the writer expects you to start rooting for the villain. Some of the scenes are so unbelievably stupid, don’t-try-this-at-home kind of stupid. You see the villain test the patience of a seemingly ruthless character, but somehow get away with it, you even see the character come back from the dead a few times. Regardless, you wouldn’t be able to guess what the ending will eventually be and if the villain will end up getting what she deserves.

This movie is entertaining because once again, it evokes feelings of anger in you, you almost want to go into the movie and get the job done yourself. You’ll definitely want to watch to the end, because only then can you decide whether you are satisfied with the movie at all. There are twists and turns and a few genres intertwined to make one very annoying movie.

My score for this movie is - 2/10

Mood for watching this movie -Curious

Mood after watching this movie - Intense

Where to watch - Amazon Prime

Secret Obsession, 2019, thriller

“I care a lot” made me give up on Amazon prime almost immediately so if you’re like me and you find yourself back on Netflix, please check out Secret obsession. Prepare to really suspend all your disbelief with this one. In this stupid thriller you will watch things placed conveniently in the right moments. As if the lead actor is the luckiest, yet unluckiest character in the world. Secret obsession is about a woman who gets into an accident and ends up with amnesia. Very soon she finds herself in the hands of a very suspicious character who claims to be her husband. In this movie, all necessary hospital procedures are thrown out of the window. An attempt at suspense fails terribly as even the title of the movie gives some of the twists and turns away. There’s no actual explanation of the backstory and it’s done in flashbacks, giving little to no character development to what should have been an important piece to the puzzle. The storyline is overdone to start with, a woman in distress needs saving, the man is depicted as a stalker albeit a very very terrible one.

The whole plot is weak, and somewhat predictable, however, I still found the whole thing so annoying that it was entertaining to watch. This is because you’re forced to follow the female character and wonder how she will eventually get out of the many traps she finds herself in, and watch her try and fail over and over again to get away from her stalker. The movie uses things like rural location and loss of internet to put the viewer in a position where you are looking for a way out, building enough tension for satisfaction should the female character eventually escape. If you’re looking for a movie to watch on a very boring night, that gives you just enough immersion to escape your troubles, well secret obsession is the one for you. It’s incredibly generic, but entertaining to watch, you might also want to just skip to the very end.

My score for this movie is - 2/10

Mood for watching this movie is - Curious

Mood after watching this movie is - Weird

Where to watch - Netflix

Cuties, 2020, coming-of-age

Just in case you’re not annoyed enough, I have one final movie for you. It’s the very controversial, very disturbing, very unsettling, very shocking, Cuties. Yes, Cuties, that movie everyone has probably told you to avoid at all cost. It’s a Netflix original, based on the life of a young girl, who is struggling with all the issues that come with being a tween. You see her very volatile relationship with her mother and the absence of her father who is the glue that binds the whole storyline together. You see her in inappropriate outfits, dancing to inappropriate music and talking about sexual themes that makes you so uncomfortable your eyes might start to bleed.

Whilst a lot of viewers might not agree with this movie, with many calling for its ban, and a social media rampage following its release. (Probably because of the very provoking trailer Netflix released on its YouTube channel). I find the movie depicts the necessary conversations we need to have when it comes to the use of technology by young children and the many dangers surrounding it. The movie is evocative, and sometimes very uncomfortable to watch. It’s very raw, and both the director nor the cameramen shy away from putting us in the same perspective of a predator looking at its prey through a screen. Watching the movie will stir up feelings of anger, protection for your kids and a level of disgust by what is being shown. But for me, that’s the point. To make you so angry, you want to take action and make sure it doesn’t happen in real life. Although, the director claims the inspiration for the movie actually stems from watching young kids in this position on one of her trips. If you make it to the very end, you’d realise that there are many pressing issues intelligently represented in this movie, ones which will stick with you for life. My only issue with this movie is the director’s choice of not casting older actors to portray the young characters required.

My score for this movie is - 6/10

Mood for watching this movie is - Intense

Mood after watching this movie is - Intense

Where to watch - Netflix

I’m sure there are a hundred more movies that are so bad, you make your friends watch it too. But these are my 5 favourite ones. Please enjoy, at the expense of your sanity.