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More than friends?

Can two people who like each other simply be friends without love, sexual tension, or attraction interfering in the friendship?

By SalgadoPublished 4 months ago 3 min read
Just friends…

The issue could lead to teasing for some in their 20s. It's a fact that our post-modern era has allowed relationships, including those between opposite sexes, to enter a fantastic normalization surrounded by a new scenario. But as always... sometimes those innocent and affectionate friends start entering territories where friendship takes a back seat.

Evolutionary psychology sheds light on the mystery of friendship between men and women. From a strictly biological standpoint, human behaviors are guided by underlying phenomena. In other words, this theoretical approach asserts that friendships between both sexes will always be threatened by the possibility of developing a sexual-affective relationship. Hence, your partner may frown every time you spend time with that best friend of the opposite sex.

In the newspaper "El Universo" in Ecuador, I found a statement from Dr. María Fernanda Acosta, a psychologist and couples therapist, on this topic. She asserts that human behaviors are not solely dictated by our reproductive biological instincts. Dr. Acosta said, "The idea that two people of opposite sexes who want to be friends create sexual tension is a very basic position when we understand the complexity of human functioning. Although our nature seeks reproduction, we have processes that go beyond our basic needs. There are people, for example, who decide not to have sex for some reason, and others decide not to have children. We are not governed solely by biology."

However, there are opposing studies: according to research by the University of Wisconsin, a friendly relationship can exist between a man and a woman, but it is most likely to either turn into romance or be affected by the interest of one party, usually the men.

The study analyzed the behavior of 90 pairs of friends (men and women), and after several surveys, they discovered that men were much more attracted to women than vice versa. What I said: guys turned out to be more prone to falling in love with their female friends.

The results also showed that men tend to believe that the romantic attraction they feel for their female friends is reciprocated and risk taking the next step towards a romantic relationship. But in the absence of reciprocity, the friendship tends to be damaged.

Time, however, has an interesting effect on human relationships. It is clear that for too long, friendship between two people is impossible if there is a romantic attraction. I wonder: What happens when that attraction fades or changes over time? Can it transform into a solid and pure friendship?

So... What is the key to a successful and tension-free friendship between men and women or between people who like each other a lot? The answer we eagerly seek lies in three magical words: self-awareness, boundaries, and communication.

When starting a friendship with someone of the opposite sex, it's important to ask oneself: what the hell am I looking for here? Really a friendship? Or is all this a pretext to find a romantic relationship? The important thing is not to deceive ourselves. Not to carry atomic bombs of lies in our pockets. And most importantly: if in the midst of friendship, you start feeling those "butterflies in the stomach," then it's best to be honest and talk. It is in honesty that the possibility of a tension-free, confusion-free, and misunderstanding-free friendship lies.

But there's no doubt that the best stories of friendship have no gender, and ultimately, the story can be written between a man and a woman. Let go of prejudices. We're no longer in the 50s, even if our partner's furrowed brow suggests otherwise when we tell them we're going to spend a night watching TV at the house of that charming, adorable, irresistible, polite, intelligent, and funny best friend.

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About the Creator


Born in Colombia. Living in Woodinville, WA. I love fiction and enjoy both horror and humor; or death and life, however you want to take it.

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