Mental Illness Doesn't Need to be Fought Alone

Depression hits different these days. I used to not clean my room and not leave for months on end. Now, it is more robotic. I didn't wash my hair for almost 2 weeks, but I showered every day. I don't eat, but I have been drinking water and protein shakes. I still do the things that make me feel good, I just do them a little more sad.

I was diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder) years ago and I have just learned how to deal with it over time. I feel like you just learn how to drink water, attempt to eat, attempt to medicate yourself and make it okay. It is still heavy to carry it and I think about ending it more often than I want to even admit. I have a great therapist, a great psychiatrist , medications, I journal, do yoga, workout.. I do it all. All doesn't feel like enough.

Depression is something you don't understand until you have dealt with it. It is absolutely debilitating and it can be so hard to fight through the thoughts and the lows. Depression also manifests differently in most everyone. Some depressed folks can still function like go to work and/or school, do tasks, etc. Some folks can do all that but break when they are alone and only subtly show signs of being depressed. That one is me. I still work, I write, I do my school work. But I get irritated a lot easier, I don't eat, I cry every night, I can't do much without going on auto pilot.

You might be wondering what the point of this article is.. well, it is going with my theme of being vulnerable on the internet and in life. I struggle and I know so many other folks do. May is Mental Health Awareness month and mental health is still so stigmatized. The only way we can possibly lower suicide rates, is by talking about it. Sharing our stories can help people know they aren't alone. Because at the end of the day, you aren't alone.. even when you feel like it.

Mental health is a struggle. I am so passionate about it because I have struggled, my friends and family struggle and I have lost people to their battle with mental illness. Mental illness isn't just depression. We need to talk about the nitty gritty of it all... the schizophrenia, DID, OCD and many many more illnesses and neurodivergencies need to be talked about. It is the only way we can truly heal and grow with our differences.

Mental health is just as important as physical health. It needs to be cared for like you would care for your physical body. You need to find things that help you. Sometimes that can look like therapy, psychiatry and more professional help. Sometimes it can look like supportive friends, supportive family and pets. And sometimes it can look like coping skills, like journaling, working out, etc. Sometimes it is a combination of all three. In my opinion, a combination of all three is most effective. I know professional help can be really tough to come by. There are many resources out there now to find low cost and free therapists, you can get some basic medications from a general doctor and you can access crisis lines like the National Suicide Hotline or The Trevor Project, completely free. You can join online support groups for free and you can find friends online that are supportive. Coping skills can be a bit frustrating at first but you can go through them to find what works for you and switch it up as you need. Make the tools work for you and your mental health.

Depression and all mental health things are not easy to handle. They are so much to take on and handle day to day. If you are struggling with mental illness, please reach out for help. I am so proud of you for getting out of bed and facing the day.

National Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255 or text 741 741

Trevor Project: trevorproject.org (chat and text options) or 866-488-7386