Lost Connections

Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions by Johann Hari

No one has a 'malfunctioning brain' and the stories we have been told about chemical imbalances, anti-depressants and mental health are all a series of mis-information, pharmaceutical greed and bad science. There is an immense amount of solace to be discovered when we understand that anger, sadness, happiness, fear, anxiousness all make sense in equal measures and are normal responses to certain social or environmental conditions.

If an individual has experienced trauma, abuse, grief, heartbreak or any kind of unexpected or unfortunate life situation, it is no surprise if they, for any period of time, feel fearful, depressed, anxious, unmotivated or nihilistic. It is also no surprise that behaviours and habits reflect these situations, where we try to numb or distract from our pain, resulting in individuals gaining or losing weight, isolating themselves or turning to drink or drugs. These, and other variants of coping mechanisms, whilst on the surface unhealthy and indeed dangerous, are completely and entirely understandable given their context.

Knowing this, it means that individuals will now have the ability to validate their own feelings. We can now experience feelings of fear, sadness and upset and have the ability to connect the negative emotion to the negative situation. This in itself has so many positive implications, we will no longer seek external validation from family, friends, lovers or strangers on social media. This is life changing and completely necessary.

After finishing Lost Connections, it is important to attempt to practically apply this radically brilliant approach into everyday life. In the simplest way, to stop using the words 'anxiety' or 'depression' in a pseudo-scientific way and instead, labelling the emotions 'anxiousness' and 'sadness' so there is no longer an identity to hide behind. Disidentifying from these 'disorders' allows for individuals to take responsibilities of their own actions, remove the limiting beliefs that their 'diagnosis' has enforced and feel empowered to improve life situations when they cause pain or discontent.

The ability to diagnose 'bad mental health' or label sadness or fear as 'disorders' is baffling after being presented with the facts. In actuality, it is much more straightforward to heal from these feelings in a healthier way with long-term success, rather than prescription medication, denial or distraction techniques. When validating our own emotions, we can begin to explore our ongoing triggers, past behaviours, coping mechanisms and where our inner voices originate from. Once we begin this journey, we can improve our mental states when we reconnect to our traumas, begin understanding the lasting effects these experiences have and then proceed to forgive, heal, seek genuine connection and make the necessary changes to improve our overall well-being.

To be completely aware of how Hari's teachings could be seen as minimising the experiences of others is important, but very easy to navigate. Hari's approach comes from a fundamentally empathetic place, condemning the capitalist and social systems that thrive making us unhappy or dissatisfied. When approaching conversations concerning mental health, we must hear, validate and empathise with the lived experiences of others and provide a formula of reconnection, introspection and self-development.

Hari's approach has the potential to change society and individuals, in the most uplifting and positive way. I really hope that, at some point, this new narrative can be heard and emphasised from an early age, ensuring that every person who has ever felt or been made to feel crazy has confidence knowing that they are sane and always have been.