Loneliness, the ability to be independent

I am not afraid of loneliness itself, but I am afraid when I don’t know how to face loneliness. Especially after trying many “methods to make people not lonely”, I still feel lonely.

First of all, admit that everyone is lonely. You can't see how others are lonely, but it doesn't mean that others are not lonely.

It is also normal to feel lonely in a crowd, it may be temporary or long-term. Momentary loneliness is annoying and quickly fills up with other things. Those long periods of loneliness made Van Gogh, Hemingway, and Mozart. Human beings have been updated from generation to generation, and it is not who made the money that is remembered, but those who are art masters in the end. They are in the crowd and isolated in the sea of ​​human beings. Don't worry about your misfits. When I say this, I am not sure that you are everyone. Even if you are an ordinary person, you can live happily without feeling inferior. A person can be happy, and since there are a huge number of human beings, there are always a few people who "smelt like you". When you open your eyes and go out, you will find them.

This is the second point I want to say, the misfit that you think is caused by loneliness, not your problem. There is no need to feel inferior, forcibly integrate into the unsuitable circle, because the world is made up of countless circles, and there is always a circle that suits you and accepts you. You have the right to say NO to any circle, you choose them, not they choose you.

Third, a person can have pretentious arrogance. To quote Xiong Hao's famous saying - you are a crane in a lonely sky, not a paper full of words.

Pretentious arrogance and arrogance that no one can understand is actually the difference between two kinds of "arrogance": one is the "aristocratic" temperament that is pretentious and "takes the world as its own responsibility", has a bottom line of principles, and adheres to it; One is the arrogance that comes from fighting for the competition, not having one's own obsession, but only caring about the outcome. Which one is better is up for grabs.

"The Crane in the Lonely Sky" knows how high he can fly and how high the clouds are in the sky. The great gods in the debate circle have said that debating should allow you to see where Zhigao is and where you are. However, many people only have an arrogance that no one can understand, laughing wildly at the ground under them, praising how high they have flown, if this is the case, it is better to be clumsy.

When encountering a circle where we can’t fit in, what we often do is to be angry. Behind the anger is the powerlessness of people. People who do their best to solve the problem have no time to complain. A gentleman should be self-controlled, not angry at all things. "The husband does not fight, but the world cannot fight with him."

From talking about loneliness to talking about independence and self-confidence. There is no necessary causal connection on the surface, but in fact, independent and confident people are not worried about loneliness. No matter in the crowd, when they are alone, they know where they are going. If you are afraid of loneliness, you need to find someone to accompany you, and people who use external things to prove themselves cannot be independent and confident.

In terms of friendship, independent people can have inseparable friends, or they can live in peace; life can be refined and refined, or it may be rough and rough. Clothes are a person's last self-confidence. When seeing Huang Zhizhong debating, his words and output thoughts attracted the audience more than his clothes. He didn't want to spend a bit of time on clothes throughout the season. He was confident enough in himself. Maybe many people can't do what he does, but you might as well spend less money on clothes and more energy on improving your mind.

Many people have said that people in debate circles are poor, and people in talk shows are poor. Except for some self-deprecation, maybe half of it is reality. Professor Yin Wei loves debating very much. He said: "A debater is obliged to live a good life for debating". If you really love this activity, you should read more, improve yourself, get good grades in exams, and have a good job in the future. How can I pay for myself? How to promote it to those who want to learn debating: Debating is really a meaningful activity, you see, I have been debating for four years, and now I earn 2,000 yuan, the debate is really good”, who will come?!”

People who are "pretentious" don't and shouldn't allow themselves to be miserable. Their efforts will be rewarded, and they truly love making life more meaningful, conveying values ​​to the public, showing the meaning of hard work and the beauty of life. This is the best positive energy.

The self-proclaimed lonely wolf, the unfit horse, the crane in the lonely sky may not be a genius, only a middle person, or even a mediocrity, but they are not afraid of loneliness, not lost, and have sustenance in their hearts.

Loneliness is passive, independence is active. Change your mind, use your love and interest, and work hard to change from passive to active!