Has something ever happened in your life that is always holding a part of you back or making you feel depressed? This sort of this happens to a lot of people and it is nothing to be ashamed of because, in most cases the traumatic events or experiences were not your fault. Moving forward with your life after trauma is an extremely hard thing to do. For some, the trauma causes people to develop depression, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or anxiety. This can then lead to having to see a therapist to heal the pain and work through the trauma. In this article I will be speaking about traumatic experiences such as domestic abuse and bullying. If these topics trigger you I recommend clicking off of this page now.
Imagine a father or mother talking down to their child in a verbally abusive way. Perhaps, a father called his son stupid so many times it just stayed in his mind and he carried it from adolescence to adulthood. He heard this so much from his father he started to believe it was true even though it was not true at all. The harsh words he heard from his father he carried with him and these words destroyed his self-esteem. Another example could also be hearing a school bully tell you something so much you start to believe it is true. What many do not understand is, words do hurt and some do not handle pain as well as others. There is the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but, names cannot hurt me". This saying could apply to some but, not everyone. As mentioned some do not handle pain as well as others. Words can in fact turn into wounds.
Now that it has been established that words can hurt, let's take it to the next level. The next level would be physical abuse. Physical abuse obviously does hurt one's bones. For instance, what if this same father had a daughter he was physically abusive towards. Maybe he did something like throw his daughter down a stair case or hit her over tiny little things that weren't even worth getting upset over. What if this same girl had to go to school and endure similar treatment. I once heard a story about a young girl who was on her school basketball team and her teammates did not treat her very well. They would tell her, "She sucked and should quit the team" and once she did not quit the team her teammates pretended to befriend her. One Saturday after a game at the school her teammates told her they were all going to go into the boy's bathroom and asked her if she wanted to tag along. Little did this girl know it was all a set up to hurt her. The young girl went with her teammates and as they approached the bathroom they all insisted she should go first until she agreed to do so. She started to cautiously walk in and then she was shoved by this group of girls who were her teammates. To make matters worse, the young girl slipped on urine and fell after she was forcefully shoved into the boy's bathroom. This story is heartbreaking and hard to hear but, moral of the story is no one should behave like this towards others because, no one knows what someone is truly going through. This poor girl had to endure abuse at home and at school. It is probably unimaginable to think of how she felt.
These kind of circumstances make you wonder what would make a person behave this way towards others? Perhaps, the father of the children was an alcoholic or maybe he was abused as a child? Could the girl who came up with the plan to push her teammate be going through similar treatment at home? We do not know and never will but, one thing we should all know is all these things are not excuses to behave that way. These behaviors are often seen by people who are trying to hide their own insecurities. Someone needs to get help and counseling if they have their own trauma to deal with otherwise, it is an ongoing cycle of hurt that will never heal. A person's pain should not be given to others. Abuse whether domestic or just from a school bully is serious. It is so serious that the trauma this girl experienced at one point caused her to try to take her own life.
The girl did not take her life or take her hurt out on others and she instead got help to work through her trauma. A person receiving help is not something to be ashamed of. Someone who is hurt and asks for help is strong. Judgement from others does happen but, it should not. The person looking at the girl walking into her therapy appointment should not think of her as weak but, strong! I am this girl.
I was not ashamed to get help for my past trauma and it has helped me become a better, stronger and understanding woman. I am a mother of a son and my experiences have taught me not to talk down to my child or hurt him in any way. I will teach my son the same things I have learned and I hope he does pass it onto others in a positive way. As so commonly said, I hope he treats others the way he wants to be treated. I hope for those of you that read this article that it has helped in some way. Whether you relate to my experiences or have similar ones. If you are hurt and have been taking your pain out onto others I hope this article makes you think twice about your behavior.
For those of you that need help I encourage you to get it because as I mentioned receiving treatment does not make you weaker but, stronger. If you're the person hurting others or you have been on the other side of the treatment, I understand. There is always a light at the end of the dark tunnel and you cannot have a rainbow without a storm. Keep moving forward and continue to be strong and if you yourself do not feel hurt but, know of a loved one that does you can be a supporter. We all play a part in how others feel and act. You just have to be the best person you can be.