Left for Dead

I have always been a good girl never drank,smoked or

Did drugs. I am sure there are more good things one can

Claim but this is my story. I was married for 23

Years the first time and my husband died of a stroke at

The young age of 47. I swore I would never marry again

As I did not think anyone would be interested in a 40

Year old woman and I just could not go through the changes.

One day a freind sent a man over to fix my computer.

I had just had a large tumor removed and had no one

To help me with my recovery I was alone but adapting

To my situation. This gentleman came and fixed my

Computer. After he fixed my computer he came back

Again and added some stuff to it.

Several months later I had to have a hysterectomy I

Was in the hospital to my surprise I awoke to

A gentleman that fixed my computer he said he

Had asked my best friend where I was.

I was incredibly flattered what was to follow was a

Whirlwind courtship I had never been treated this

Way by a man. There was no limit to the trips

And flowers attention he gave me.

He helped me with support for a lot of things

We went everywhere together. I was

So in love to add to this he was very good looking

And had a very good career.

After 1.5 years he asked me to marry him at first

I asked myself why would he want me when he

Was such a good catch he could probably have

Been with anyone I thought.

Fast forward 13 years we have had a beautiful relationship.

I have become a nurse I am working nights I am feeling

Really unusually tired I go to sleep.

I wake up and someone is on me having anal sex with

Me I watched the whole thing but I am unable to move

Or do anything. After I am able to wake up I confronted

The man I saw in this nightmare.

The man in my dream told me nothing happened

It was just a nightmare go back to sleep..

After I woke up i thought about it. It happened

Again and again I tried different beds but

It only happened in my bed with my husband.

I asked my husband to move into another room,

I put cameras in my room the cameras were mysteriously moved

nothing worked.

It was apparent that I was being drugged and raped

By my spouse. I confronted him and asked him

To move out. He moved out and began telling me

Nothing happened. I searched for evidence I got

Checked out.

He turned very angry telling me no one would ever

Be able to prove anything. He looked on Craigslist

And got a roommate. I filed for divorce I felt seriously

Broken.

This my story what’s yours everyday 1 out 3 women

Face intimate partner violence. I have decided to

Share my story of pain in the hopes that it may help

Another woman in her struggle. I am in sexual assault

Counseling and probably will be for many more years to come.

What to do if you have been sexually assaulted:

The Five D’s was developed by Hollaback! a global, people-powered movement to end harassment. The five D’s are five practices and tools you can use to confront sexual harassment as it happens. We can apply these same principles to confronting sexual violence. We recommend reading Hollaback!’s comprehensive and useful Bystander Intervention Training on their website.

All too often survivors are being violated in public spaces or the violence enacted on them is being witnessed by someone who says nothing. Many times, people choose to not intervene out of fear of not knowing how to intervene.

The Five D’s can support people who are witnessing a sexual assault, sexual abuse or sexual violence.

DIRECT.

You may want to confront the person who did harm and name what is happening. Before choosing to do this make sure you are safe to do this. Are you in public? Are there other people who can support you should this person who did harm get upset? Are you physically safe? Do you believe the survivor will be safe? Do you know the perpetrator? Do you know how this person reacts to others in altercations? IF FOR ANY REASON YOU DO NOT FEEL SAFE DOING THIS, DON’T.

If being direct still feels like a safe option, take a deep breath, get centered/grounded, and then approach the situation. Check in with the survivor afterward to ensure they are ok before moving on.

Some phrases you may want to use when confronting the person who did harm: “That is inappropriate” or “Leave them alone” or “You are hurting them.”

DISTRACT.

Distraction can be an effective way to intervene in an act of sexual violence. You are distracting the person who did harm and interrupting the act. It is important to ignore the victim and speak directly to the perpetrator. Don’t mention that you witnessed anything. Divert their energy to something completely different. Some ideas to distract a perpetrator:

Looking for something you lost. Try to avoid staring at anyone, look around and move things in the room. Do your best to stay in the room/space until the person who did harm moves. Make sure you are safe.

Pretending to be lost. Ask how to get somewhere and make small talk until the victim is able to get up and away.

Pretending to know the perpetrator. If they look around your age, ask them what high school they went to. Ask them if they lived on a particular street. It doesn’t have to be long, just enough time to divert their attention away from the victim.

DELEGATE.

If you do not feel comfortable confronting someone on your own or want support in any stage of intervening, get assistance from others. If you are with friends, have them distract the person who did harm while you find support.

Are there others around? Are there people who are witnessing this too? Consult with others and determine the best way to intervene and support the victim. If this is in an establishment, find out who is in charge. Contact the manager or security immediately. If this happened at your place of employment, tell a supervisor or manager.

If you are at school, contact a teacher or the school nurse.

BEFORE YOU CALL 911. A history of abuse and mistreatment has led to communities of color, undocumented people, and individuals with previous involvement in the carceral system not feeling safe, and they may not want any contact with first responders, especially police. Your first impulse may be to call the police, but it is important to check in with the victim to ensure they feel safe doing this.

DELAY.

You may not be able to act in the moment, but you can still support the survivor by checking in with them after the incident. Let the person know that you wanted to intervene but you were concerned with their and your safety.

Begin by asking if they are okay and telling them you are sorry this happened to them.

Ask them what you can do to support them right now. Ask if there is a safe space they can go to. If you can, take them there. When you get there, ask if they want you to stay with them or if you can call someone for them. If they want to be alone, give them your contact information. It is their choice to follow up with you.

Share resources with them. They may be in shock and need time to process what happened but are willing to take information they can reference later. To find local or national resources that support victims of sexual violence reference meetoomvmt.org’s Resource Library. You should always carry the number of the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). Make sure to give them this number if you are not able to give them any other information.

Offer to support them with making a report if they choose to do so. If you documented any part of the incident, ask them if they want you to send it to them.

DOCUMENT.

If you feel like you don’t have the opportunity to use one or all of the other four D’s, documenting is something you can always do to the best of your ability. If someone is already supporting the survivor, assess your safety. If you are safe, start recording.

Make sure you notify the victim you are recording or taking pictures of the scene.

Keep a safe distance.

Take pictures or record specific landmarks (street signs, area where the assault happened in multiple angles, bus or station information). Make sure to hold shots for 10 seconds. This will help authorities freeze frame and examine specific scenes or views.

Make sure to state the date and time you recorded or took pictures.

Ask the victim what they want to do with the recording. NEVER post online without their permission.

What is Rape Culture?

Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety.

Examples of Rape Culture

Blaming the victim (“She asked for it!”)

Trivializing sexual assault (“Boys will be boys!”)

Sexually explicit jokes

Tolerance of sexual harassment

Inflating false rape report statistics

Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state, motives, and history

Gratuitous gendered violence in movies and television

Defining “manhood” as dominant and sexually aggressive

Defining “womanhood” as submissive and sexually passive

Pressure on men to “score”

Pressure on women to not appear “cold”

Assuming only promiscuous women get raped

Assuming that men don’t get raped or that only “weak” men get raped

Refusing to take rape accusations seriously

Teaching women to avoid getting raped

Victim Blaming

One reason people blame a victim is to distance themselves from an unpleasant occurrence and thereby confirm their own invulnerability to the risk. By labeling or accusing the victim, others can see the victim as different from themselves. People reassure themselves by thinking, "Because I am not like her, because I do not do that, this would never happen to me." We need to help people understand that this is not a helpful reaction.

Why is it Dangerous?

Victim-blaming attitudes marginalize the victim/survivor and make it harder to come forward and report the abuse. If the survivor knows that you or society blames her for the abuse, s/he will not feel safe or comfortable coming forward and talking to you.

Victim-blaming attitudes also reinforce what the abuser has been saying all along; that it is the victim’s fault this is happening. It is NOT the victim’s fault or responsibility to fix the situation; it is the abuser’s choice. By engaging in victim-blaming attitudes, society allows the abuser to perpetrate relationship abuse or sexual assault while avoiding accountability for his/her actions.

What Does Victim-Blaming Look Like?

Example of Victim-Blaming Attitude: “She must have provoked him into being abusive. They both need to change.”

Reality: This statement assumes that the victim is equally to blame for the abuse, when in reality, abuse is a conscious choice made by the abuser. Abusers have a choice in how they react to their partner’s actions. Options besides abuse include: walking away, talking in the moment, respectfully explaining why an action is frustrating, breaking up, etc. Additionally, abuse is not about individual actions that incite the abuser to hurt his partner, but rather about the abuser’s feelings of entitlement to do whatever he wants to his partner.

When friends and family remain neutral about the abuse and say that both people need to change, they are colluding with and supporting the abusive partner and making it less likely that the survivor will seek support.

How Can Men and Women Combat Rape Culture and Victim Blaming?

Avoid using language that objectifies or degrades women

Speak out if you hear someone else making an offensive joke or trivializing rape.

If a friend says they have been raped, take your friend seriously and be supportive.

Think critically about the media’s messages about women, men, relationships, and violence

Be respectful of others’ physical space even in casual situations

Let survivors know that it is not their fault

Hold abusers accountable for their actions: do not let them make excuses like blaming the victim, alcohol, or drugs for their behavior

Always communicate with sexual partners and do not assume consent

Define your own manhood or womanhood. Do not let stereotypes shape your actions.

Be an Active Bystander!!

DATE RAPE DRUGS:

Rape is a serious criminal act, with the potential for severe and lasting repercussions on the victim’s life. Rape involves sexually taking advantage of another person without their consent, and this includes having sex with a person who is incoherent or unconscious. Some perpetrators attempt to facilitate their assault by using substances that incapacitate their victims to varying degrees.

“Date rape” is a term that refers to a person forcing someone that they are socially, romantically, or casually involved with to have sex without consent. Often, this type of rape is conceptualized as a predator first drugging the victim and, next, sexually assaulting them. While this is sometimes the case, date rape more often involves the perpetrator taking advantage of their victim’s chosen insobriety. Perhaps they were out celebrating with friends and had a little too much to drink, or unknowingly mixed certain drugs, rendering themselves incapacitated. In either scenario, the rapist takes advantage of this too-intoxicated state and forever alters the victim’s life.

Regardless of whether the victim chose to ingest a substance or they were unknowingly drugged, it is vital to remember that rape is never the victim’s fault. Consent must be clear, and a lack of a stated “no” or “stop” does not constitute consent. A person who is not sober cannot consent to sex!

Nearly half of all sexual assaults involve alcohol 1, 2, 3, but prevalence estimates for other sedative substances are not well known due to the shorter period of time that these drugs remain in the body. Some substances that are used to incapacitate people are well-known, such as Rohypnol (flunitrazepam), GHB, and ketamine, while others are not as widely recognized (clonazepam, etizolam, and other new substances). It is important to know the potential effects that these substances can have in order to recognize a risky situation and get out.

THE DANGERS YOU KNOW

Some substances used for date rape are relatively well-known. These include:

Rohypnol (“roofies”).

Ketamine (“special K”).

Gamma-Hydroxybutyrate (“GHB”).

These drugs all have similar depressant effects, but each one will affect a person a little differently, especially when combined with alcohol, which is commonly how these drugs are given to a victim (e.g., slipped into a drink).

ROHYPNOL

Woman dizzy from drinking

Rohypnol (generic name: flunitrazepam) is often referred to by street names such as:

Roofies.

The Forget Pill.

Circles.

La Rocha.

Rohypnol is a powerful benzodiazepine that is prescribed in certain countries to treat insomnia 4. In the US, however, this drug is illegal due to its powerful effects and reputation as a date rape drug.

Rohypnol pills are tasteless, odorless, and colorless 4, 5 and easily dissolve in liquid, making it easy for perpetrators to discreetly incapacitate potential victims. Newer versions of the drug have a blue center that can turn a light-colored drink blue, but generic versions may still be colorless in liquids, making them dangerously disguisable.

Taken alone, Rohypnol produces feelings of 4:

Sedation.

Lessened anxiety.

Eased muscle tension.

Effects can begin as early as 30 minutes after ingestion, peaking within 2 hours 5. Even a dose as low as 1 mg can exert its effects for up to 8 hours 5.

When consumed with alcohol, Rohypnol’s effects are enhanced to dangerous levels. Both substances have sedative effects that compound when taken together. Signs of being roofied include extreme drowsiness and even amnesia, meaning the person will not remember what happened during the time they were under the influence, depending on the amount consumed 4.

KETAMINE

Ketamine is a potent dissociative anesthetic medication with some hallucinogenic effects 6. It can be obtained in clear liquid and white powder form, both of which mix easily with drinks, though they both have an extreme bitter taste.

The powder may even be cut with other powder substances such as cocaine, MDMA, or amphetamine for snorting and may be added to joints or cigarettes to drug a person without their knowledge. Ketamine is often referred to by the following names:

Special K.

Vitamin K.

Kitty.

Kit Kat.

Cat Valium.

Ketamine’s effects come on quickly, usually felt within 1-30 minutes of ingestion and lasting about an hour 7. Depending on the dose, effects may range from sedation and pain relief to amnesia and dissociation, wherein the person feels removed from or out of control of her own body 6.

These strong effects contribute to its involvement in date rape, as higher doses of ketamine may render a person unconscious or unable to move.

GAMMA-HYDROXYBUTYRIC ACID (GHB)

GHB is short for gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid, a central nervous system (CNS) depressant. Xyrem (sodium oxybate) – a prescription drug used to treat a condition known as cataplexy, as well as to manage the excessive daytime sleepiness associated with narcolepsy – is a branded, pharmaceutical form of GHB.

GHB commonly goes by the following names:

G.

Liquid X.

Goop.

Scoop.

GHB is produced naturally in the body in small amounts, but it can also be synthesized in a lab 8. Manmade GHB is commonly found online and on the streets and is regularly adulterated with various caustic chemicals used at some point during the process of its illicit production, including sodium hydroxide (e.g., lye – found in some drain cleaners). GHB is sought out by recreational users for its CNS depressant effects (i.e., a sedative, relaxing high that can leave a person drowsy, confused, and amnesic 8.)

GHB is found in both a powder and liquid form, and both dissolve easily in liquid. It is colorless, odorless, and has a slight salty taste that can be masked easily by strong flavors 8. Effects can come on within 10 to 20 minutes, lasting up to 4 hours 9. When combined with alcohol, the depressant effects are enhanced, leading to extreme sedation and memory problems, ultimately leaving a person vulnerable to assault.

Tips on Self Care After A Rape

Consider whether you are emotionally and mentally ready to watch something that might trigger you.  Remember, if you do not think you are ready, that is OK!  Only you know your limits and what feels safe.

1. Talk to someone supportive.  This could be a friend, family member, partner, or the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center hotline.  Tell them that you might need to reach out to them if you experience strong emotions while watching or after watching the show.  Come up with a plan for how to contact them if you need some support.

2. Check in with yourself on a regular basis while watching.  Ask yourself, “Am I becoming overwhelmed?  Do I feel like I am having trouble concentrating?  Do I need to take a break?”  Treat yourself with kindness and respect.

3. This may not be the best show to binge watch all in one sitting. It might be healthier to watch a couple of episodes at a time, then take a break and do something else.

4. Make a self-care box while you are taking a break from watching the show. Fill a shoebox with items that you already know will help you to de-stress, such as a coloring book, tea, your favorite scented candle, chocolate, or play-doh.

5. Try journaling for self-care and reflection, if you don’t already. Create a journal entry after each episode you watch.  Getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper is a great way to track whether or not you are being triggered.

6. Do some kind of physical activity, like going for a walk, or run, or taking a yoga class.

7. Balance the emotional response you might have to the show by doing a fun self-care ritual after each episode. Call a friend to talk about lighthearted topics, watch puppy videos on the Internet, or take yourself out for ice cream.

8. Create grounding tools to use during the show. Cuddle with a soft blanket, eat a snack that makes you feel happy, or color a picture while you watch.

9. Watch something else. Other good shows to binge watch on Netflix; Gilmore Girls, The Fosters, Switched at Birth, Glee, Young and Hungry, and Parks and Recreation.

10. Pick up a good book!

11. Find your favorite DIY-ers on YouTube and start a do-it-yourself project.

12. Finally, decide not to watch! Don’t feel pressured to watch something just because it seems like everyone else is watching.  You decide what is best for you.

Powerful Steps to Take Back Your Power and Be True to Yourself Again

1. Say ‘no’ when ‘no’ is needed and say it with conviction.

The majority of people have no idea how dangerous it is to say ‘yes’ all the time. How unhealthy it is to constantly try to please everyone around you by betraying your own self. And even though we all fall into this trap from time to time, if you start saying ‘no’ when no is needed, and if you say it with conviction, not only will you take back your power, but you will also reclaim your right to life, to happiness, to purpose, and to love.

Stop playing the “I’ll save you” game.

I have always loved this quote of Buddha:

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” – Buddha

You might think you’re here to save people and lead them back onto their path. But that’s not really ‘your’ job. That’s ‘their’ job!

Each individual has his/her own internal guidance and divine power. And it’s up to them to discover their path and why they’re here on this planet. ⁣⁣⁣

No matter how tempting it may be to place yourself in the role of ‘the savior’ and give your power away to them, you have to understand that you’re not here to save anyone. Nor are you here to convince people that they deserve a better life.

You are here to walk your path and live your life your way. And if by doing so you inspire others to do the same, that’s great. If not, it can’t be helped.

 Take back your power by distancing yourself from toxic people.

I know you’re a good person and you have a hard time walking away. But entertaining people who suck the life out of you will only leave you feeling powerless, confused, and depleted of vital energy.⁣⁣

Your life is yours to live. And you have the right to walk away.

You have the right to keep good boundaries and take better care of yourself. So please, take back your power and learn to do what’s right for you.

 Accept responsibility for how you feel.

Don't let other people's behavior dictate your emotions. Saying your mother-in-law makes you feel bad about yourself, or claiming that your boss makes you mad, suggests that they have power over how you feel. Instead, accept that it is up to you to manage your emotions, regardless of how others behave.

Know your values.

When you're not clear what your values are, you're at risk of becoming a helpless passenger rather than a confident driver of own life. You'll be at risk of jumping on board with other people's ideas and may be easily led astray. Take back your power by acknowledging your values and living true to what's important to you.

Practice forgiveness.

Holding a grudge against someone who has hurt you doesn't punish the other person—it only punishes you. When you waste valuable time thinking about a person you feel wronged you, it takes away your ability to enjoy the moment.

Forgiving someone is the best way to take back your power. But to be clear, forgiveness isn't about saying what the person did was OK. It's about choosing to let go of the hurt and anger that interferes with your ability to enjoy life.

Write your story down

While writing down what happened may be painful it will allow you to

heal by realizing you are in total control of what you felt and whatever

happened to you.

• “Talking about how I feel. Whether with a counselor, a trusted friend, or by journaling.”

• “I got a tattoo to remind me of my strength.”

• “I bullet journal. It helps me take things one day, one week, one step at a time.”

Remember, you’re not alone

These numbers are here simply as a reminder that you are not alone. There are so many of us. You are not crazy. You are not “making up” your trauma. You are not “overreacting”. You pain is real, and your pain matters. Most of all, on those hard days when you are struggling to believe yourself know that I see you and I believe you.

Resources and References

General Information:

• National Sexual Assault Hotline: National hotline, operated by RAINN, that serves people affected by sexual violence. It automatically routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search your local center here. Hotline: 800.656.HOPE

• National Sexual Violence Resource Center: This site offers a wide variety of information relating to sexual violence including a large legal resource library.

• National Organization for Victim Assistance: Founded in 1975, NOVA is the oldest national victim assistance organization of its type in the United States as the recognized leader in this noble cause.

• National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women: VAWnet, a project of the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence hosts a resource library home of thousands of materials on violence against women and related issues, with particular attention to its intersections with various forms of oppression.

• U.S. Department of Justice: National Sex Offender Public Website: NSOPW is the only U.S. government Website that links public state, territorial, and tribal sex offender registries from one national search site.

• The National Center for Victims of Crime: The mission of the National Center for Victims of Crime is to forge a national commitment to help victims of crime rebuild their lives. They are dedicated to serving individuals, families, and communities harmed by crime.

• National Street Harassment Hotline: Created by Stop Street Harassment, Defend Yourself, and operated by RAINN, the National Street Harassment Hotline is a resource for those affected by gender-based street harassment. Support is available in English and Spanish: call 855.897.5910 or chat online. 

Asian, Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander Survivors:

• Asian Pacific Institute on Gender-Based Violence: A national resource center on domestic violence, sexual violence, trafficking, and other forms of gender-based violence in Asian and Pacific Islander communities. This organization provides local referrals to survivors in Asian and Pacific Islander communities, and also works to create systemic change by providing training to professionals and advocating for research-based policy changes.

Black Survivors:

• Ujima: The National Center on Violence Against Women in the Black Community works to respond to and end domestic, sexual, and community violence in the Black community through research, public awareness, community engagement, and resource development.

Child Abuse/Sexual Abuse:

• National Child Abuse Hotline: They can provide local referrals for services. A centralized call center provides the caller with the option of talking with or texting a counselor. They are also connected to a language line that can provide service in over 140 languages. Call or text hotline: 800.422.4453

• Darkness to Light: They provide crisis intervention and referral services to children or people affected by sexual abuse of children. Hotline calls are automatically routed to a local center. Helpline: 866.FOR.LIGHT (367.5444)

• Cyber Tipline: This Tipline is operated by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Can be used to communicate information to the authorities about child pornography or child sex trafficking. Hotline: 800.THE.LOST (843.5678)

• National Children’s Alliance: This organization represents the national network of Child Advocacy Centers (CAC). CACs are a multidisciplinary team of law enforcement, mental and physical health practitioners who investigate instances of child physical and sexual abuse. Their website explains the process and has a directory according to geographic location.

• Stop It Now: Provides information to victims and parents/relatives/friends of child sexual abuse. The site also has resources for offender treatment as well as information on recognizing the signs of child sexual abuse. Hotline: 888-PREVENT (773.8368)

• Justice for Children: Provides a full range of advocacy services for abused and neglected children.

College Students:

• NotAlone.gov: A government website dedicated to educating students and schools about Title IX and sexual assault.

• Know Your IX: Provides information for students about their Title IX rights in regards to ending sexual violence on campus.

• End Rape on Campus: An advocacy organization dedicated to assisting students file Title IX complaints.

Domestic, Dating and Intimate Partner Violence:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: Through this hotline an advocate can provide local direct service resources (safehouse shelters, transportation, casework assistance) and crisis intervention. Interpreter services available in 170 languages. They also partner with the Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Center to provide a videophone option. Hotline: 800.799.SAFE

• National Teen Dating Abuse Online Helpline: This online helpline assists teens who are, or may be, in abusive relationships.

• Pathways to Safety International: The center serves abused Americans, mostly women and children, in both civilian and military populations overseas. In addition to providing domestic violence advocacy, safety planning and case management, the center assists victims with relocation, emergency funds for housing and childcare, and funds for payment of legal fees.

• National Coalition against Domestic Violence: The national coalition of Domestic Violence organizations is dedicated to empowering victims and changing society to a zero tolerance policy.

Human Trafficking:

• National Human Trafficking Resource Center: A national multilingual anti-trafficking hotline. Caller can report a tip; connect with anti-trafficking services in their area; or request training and technical assistance, general information, or specific anti-trafficking resources. Hotline: 888.373.7888

• U.S. Department of Justice Trafficking in Persons and Worker Exploitation Complaint Line: Call to report suspected instances of human trafficking or worker exploitation or contact the FBI field office nearest you. Offers foreign language translation services in most languages as well as TTY. After business hours, the complaint line has a message service in English, Spanish, Russian, and Mandarin. Hotline: 888.428.7581

Immigrant Survivors:

• National Immigrant Women’s Advocacy Project: Advocates for policy change to support immigrant women and children. They also offer direct support by hosting a directory of service providers who support immigrant women and children with practical assistance, as well as a database of information about government benefits that are available by state and immigration status.

Incest:

(See also resources on Child Abuse/ Sexual Abuse above)

• Survivors of Incest Anonymous: They provide information on how to find incest survivor support groups in your area and empowers individuals to become survivors and thrivers.

• GirlThrive: Girlthrive Inc. honors teen girls and young women who have survived incest and all sex abuse through thriverships, opportunity and education.

Indigenous Survivors:

• National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center: An organization dedicated to ending violence against Native women and children through policy advocacy and direct service provision. The NIWRC operates the Strong Hearts Native Helpline, which supports Native survivors of violence in crisis, and facilitates local resource connection. You can connect to this hotline by calling 844.762.8483.

Latinx Survivors:

• National Latin@ Network: A national resource center that supports prevention and intervention efforts across the country to end domestic and dating violence in latinx communities. They do this work through research, policy advocacy, and training service providers on the needs of latinx survivors of violence. They also operate a resource library for service providers and survivors. 

Legal Resources:

• Womenslaw.org: Information about restraining orders and other legal protections for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.

• The Laws in Your State: A database of state laws including mandatory reporting, confidentiality laws, HIV/AIDS testing of sexual offenders, termination of rapists' parental rights, and statutes of limitations for each state.

• Attorney Referral Line: Refers callers to attorneys in their geographic area who can represent them in their pursuit of civil claims and victim restitution. The referral line is not an anonymous service. Their website also gives information about civil lawsuits. Phone: 202.467.8716

• Take Back The Night Foundation: Legal support for survivors in every state. Referrals to counseling, support, legal aid, hospitals, and nearest TBTN Event Holders. Hotline: 866.966.9013

• U.S. Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division: Call or email to report sexual harassment in housing. 844.380.6178 or [email protected].

LGBTQ Survivors:

• The Network la Red: The Network/La Red hotline provides emotional support, information, and safety planning for lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer and/or transgender folks, as well as folks in the BDSM or Polyamorous communities who are being abused or have been abused by a partner. Support available in English and Spanish. Hotline: 617.742.4911

• National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs: A coalition of programs that document and advocate for victims of anti-LGBT and anti-HIV/AIDS violence/harassment, domestic violence, sexual assault, police misconduct and other forms of victimization. Site has a list of local anti-violence programs and publications. Hotline: 212.714.1141

• The Trevor Project: Help and suicide prevention for GBLTQ youth. Hotline: 866.488.7386

• GLBT National Hotline: Call center that refers to over 15,000 resources across the country that support LGBTQ individuals. Hotline: 888.THE.GLNH (843.4564)

• FORGE (For Ourselves: Reworking Gender Expression): Home to the Transgender Sexual Violence Project. Provides services and publishes research for transgender persons experiencing violence and their loved ones.

LGBTQ Survivors of Color:

• National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: A network of mental health professionals who identify as queer or trans therapists of color, and seek to support their community through increased access to mental health services. In addition to providing a directory of queer and trans therapists of color across the country, they also operate the Mental Health Fund, which can support survivors in getting care that they may otherwise be unable to afford.

Male Survivors:

• 1in6: Provides educational information and resources for men who’ve been sexually abused or assaulted. Chat with a trained advocate through the national helpline for men, available 24/7. Join a weekly chat-based online support group, facilitated by a counselor. 1in6 also serves loved ones and service providers.

• Jimhopper.com: This site has articles that discuss the effects of child sexual abuse on adult men and their loved ones.

• Malesurvivor.org: This site has information and a therapist search for male survivors of sexual violence.

Medical/Physical Health:

• Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE): The SANE/SART program offers sensitive, caring, and supportive care following a sexual assault. Their website provides a list of Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) programs in each state. These specialists are registered nurses, who have advanced education in forensic examination of sexual assault victims.

• Healthcare Center Directory: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services maintains a Healthcare Center Directory. This directory lists federally funded health centers that provide a variety of services even if the recipient does not have health insurance. Users pay a co-payment based on their income. These health centers generally provide primary care services. Phone: 877.464.4772

• The Center For Disease Control National Prevention Information Network (AIDS/HIV, STI Information): U.S. reference, referral, and distribution service for information on HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Hotline: 800.458.5231

• International Association of Forensic Nurses: An international membership organization comprised of forensic nurses working around the world and other professionals who support and complement the work of forensic nursing.

• Start Your Recovery: Substance abuse information that relates to a survivors's experience with seuxal assault. 

Mental Health:

• Sidran Traumatic Stress Foundation: The Sidran Institute provides information on traumatic stress (including PTSD), dissociative disorders, and co-occurring issues such as addictions, self-injury, and suicidal behaviors.

• GoodTherapy.org: GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries worldwide who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.

• Psychology Today: Find detailed professional listings for treatment centers in the United States and Canada.

• National Eating Disorder Helpline: Information, crisis and referral hotline for people dealing with eating disorders. Helpline: 800.931.2237

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Provides information and referral services, not counseling. Helpline: 888.950.NAMI (6264)

• Hope Exists After Rape Trauma: The mission of Hope Exists After Rape Trauma (H-E-A-R-T) is to provide HOPE for victims of sexual assault through the provision of essential and therapeutic support, by affecting positive change in laws influencing their lives, and by educating both the public and professionals commissioned to serve victims.

Military Resources:

• Safe Helpline: Department of Defense (DoD) Safe Helpline is a groundbreaking crisis support service for members of the DoD community affected by sexual assault. Safe Helpline provides live, one-on-one support and information to the worldwide DoD community. The service is confidential, anonymous, secure, and available worldwide, 24/7 by click, call or text — providing victims with the help they need anytime, anywhere. Hotline: 877.995.5247

Stalking:

• Stalking Resource Center: The Stalking Resource Center is a program of the National Center for Victims of Crime. Their website provides statistics on stalking, information on safety planning and other resources.

Sexual Assault Prevention:

• National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center: Sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, this website to be useful to scientists, practitioners, advocates, grassroots organizations, and any other professional or layperson interested in current topics related to violence against women and its prevention.

• Project Respect: Project Respect aims to create discussions and share a positive alternative model of relationships for youth.

• PreventConnect: The goal of PreventConnect is to advance the primary prevention of sexual assault and relationship violence by building a community of practice among people who are engaged in such efforts.

• Campus Outreach Services: Offer information and expertise to schools on sexual violence, diversity, sexual harassment, bullying, hate crimes, healthy relationships, assertiveness, eating disorders, suicide, and related risk issues.

• The Date Safe Project: The DATE SAFE Project, Inc. provides positive how-to skills and helpful insights for addressing verbal consent (asking first), respecting of boundaries, sexual decision-making, bystander intervention, and supporting survivors (opening the door for family and friends).

• Child Help: Speak Up Be Safe: Childhelp Speak Up Be Safe is a newly developed, school-based, child abuse prevention education program that focuses on child safety. It is an evolution of Good Touch Bad Touch.

• Men Can Stop Rape: Men Can Stop Rape seeks to mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men’s violence against women.

• Cyber Bullying Research Center: A clearinghouse for information regarding cyberbullying.

Suicide and Self-Harm:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Provides crisis suicide intervention, self-harm counseling and assistance, and local mental health referrals. Calls are routed to local centers. Hotline: 800.273.TALK (8255) and for the Spanish line call 888.628.9454 or TTY: 800.799.4TTY (4889)

Survivors with Disabilities:

• Deaf Abused Women’s Network (DAWN): Legal, medical, system advocacy and survivor support services. Video Phone: 202.559.5366

• CAVANET: This organization addresses violence against women, human rights, genocide, and crime victims with disabilities.

• National Disability Rights Network: NDRN members investigate reports of abuse and neglect, and seek systemic change to prevent further incidents; advocate for basic rights; and ensure accountability in health care, education, employment, housing, transportation, and within the juvenile and criminal justice systems for individuals with disabilities.

For International Resources, please click here.For statistics on Sexual Assault, please click here.