Learning to Drive at Twenty-Two
I got my license because I had to ... not because I wanted to.
I was 23 when I finally got my drivers license. I am now 26, and this is my hand after I drive on the highway. Driving is definitely one of my biggest fears. One that I had to overcome.
When I was younger, around ten, I was involved in a car accident, and I think that kind of stuck with me. When it came time to learn how to drive I could not make myself do it. I watched all my friends get their license, as I depended on my, then boyfriend now husband, and parents to drive me around.
At 22, I had two kids, and still could not drive. I tried, do not get me wrong, but every time I got in a car to practice, I had a panic attack.
Every time a car got behind me while I was practicing, I had to pull over and cry.
When I turned 23, I decided I would book my license test, and literally force myself to learn to drive. I was not ready, but I felt very pressured to learn so I could take care of my kids independently. I needed to learn to drive.
When I took my test, the instructor asked me to back up into a stall, while other cars waited around me to back in.
I froze.
I remember staring at all the cars waiting for me, and the instructor waiting for me to back in. She even said to me “It’s okay, just relax, you can do this.”
I sat in the middle of the parking lot in that car for a good minute before I could move.
I backed in perfectly.
“Well, you passed!” She said.
I burst into tears. I tried to explain to her I was NOT crazy, and that this was just a huge step for me.
I have been driving for three years now, and I still have my moments.
If I go on the highway, or somewhere I’m not familiar with the roads, I still panic.
I have to hold my steering wheel so tight my hand goes numb and turns red. I clench my teeth so bad I get a headache. I get so sweaty, so I need the window down even if it’s winter and cold outside.
Driving is a work in progress, and that’s okay.
I’m just sharing this to let you know that fear of driving is real. And it’s scary. It’s okay if you don’t want to drive, or don’t even have your license.
Get it when YOU are ready, and comfortable.
Don’t let anyone make you feel less for not driving.
You will drive, one day, when you are ready.
About the Creator
Caitlin Fladager
Mother | Wife | Mental Health Advocate
Telling my "Reel" truth about marriage & motherhood on Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok & Vocal
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Keep reading
More stories from Caitlin Fladager and writers in Psyche and other communities.
Hidden Costs and Lasting Shame of Financial Abuse
I’ve always been responsible with my money. I have a job that pays decently, although (like many in our inflated economy) I should definitely be making more for what I do. I regularly check my credit score. I don’t eat out much, nor do I spend frivolously on non-essentials.
By Veronica Wren24 days ago in Psyche
The secret journey to regaining emotional stability
Do you feel that the anxious and avoidant types both seem to be strong and independent, but in fact they are sensitive and fragile. They often fall into emotions because of small things and start to be anxious and avoidant? If anxious and avoidant types want to change these, what they actually need is to compensate for their missing parts and heal their injured parts. In this issue, we will teach the avoidant and anxious types how to cultivate themselves again, making their emotions more stable, more rational in relationships, and at the same time gaining the ability to actively output emotional value. If anxious and avoidant types want to overcome the sensitive and fragile parts of themselves and obtain stable emotions, they need not only cognitive adjustments, but also need to heal the traumatized parts of themselves and compensate for the regretful parts of themselves. For example, the regret of the avoidant type is that they have not been paid serious attention to and have never truly rebelled. Therefore, the avoidant type will not fight for their own needs in many situations, resulting in uncomfortable situations and relationships, and they are always running away and wandering. The trauma of the anxious type is that they are trapped in unstable relationships and have been hurt by the instability in intimate relationships. The slightest fluctuation will make the anxious type feel nervous and anxious. Therefore, anxious and avoidant types are inherently fragile, sensitive, and unstable. In summary, these reasons are that something is missing during the growth stage, or they have suffered some trauma, so if you want to solve these problems, this is the time. Compensate when you need to compensate, heal when you need to heal, exercise when you need to exercise, just treat yourself as a child and raise yourself again. If the avoidant and anxious types re-train themselves, what kind of growth can they gain? First of all, emotions will become more and more stable. For example, you can be aware of your emotions at the first time, avoid emotions from affecting your thoughts and judgments, and learn to regulate your emotions. Secondly, you can truly understand yourself and know your real needs and fears. In the process of re-nurturing yourself, you can clearly understand your needs and fears, that is, you can know why you are attracted to a certain person, why you behave like this, and then you can better understand what you need.
By angelababya day ago in Psyche
Comments (1)
My grandmother never, ever drove, and she lived to be 104 years old. I would have thought having been born in 1900 and seeing the car invented and developed so much over time, she would have had a keen interest in it, but instead, she always depended on others to help her get around when needed. I'm not sure what the reason was for her never getting a driver's license, but after reading your excerpt, I have to wonder if it was something similar.