Is 'Laziness' A False Notion?

In other words, are there really lazy individuals about?

Many people tend to label others who do not conform to their expectations, as ‘lazy’. Yet that in itself is a lazy form of labelling, or stereotyping, which has little basis in fact. However, as there are some definite mindsets around the concept of laziness, I thought I would add my thoughts on it.

The true fact is that hardly anyone in this world is ever ‘lazy’. No one, except the tiniest of minority (and even they can be changed) would want to live off anyone, not achieve their goals, not make something of themselves, or not want to hold a good job. Everyone of us without exception, desires the good things in life: great health, money and the right opportunities for our life quality. So why do some people appear to be ‘lazy; not keen to support themselves, or to be responsible for their own lives? There are some basic reasons for this. But first, I’ll start with a little story.

I knew a guy who was very popular with people who knew him. He was always kind and helpful, on a personal. basis, but would never be the first to help in a crisis, and seemed to lack courage when needed. He was generally cheerful, seeming to be confident and positive, but was clearly having some difficulty coping with his life financially. However, he tended to refuse to act on any suggestions of work that might help him, which gradually caused people to regard him as ‘nice, but lazy’. Then one day someone collapsed in front of him, and when they came round, they asked for one of their medications that was in their pocket. The lazy guy panicked, not knowing quite what to do because the fact he had been trying to hide all his life was that he couldn’t read, and didn't want people to find out, or to expose himself to ridicule. So he shied away from situations that would reveal his illiteracy, or feeling of inadequacy.

This story shows that one can never take apparent 'laziness' at face value. The likely explanation, wherever someone appears reluctant to take advantage of what life has to offer, seeming to depend on others or the state for support instead, could lie in any one, or all, of five main factors that are operating, listed in order of their power to incapacitate the individual:

1. A lack of personal self-belief

Seemingly ‘lazy’ people actually have no self-belief. The rest of us might take our capabilities for granted, especially the belief that we can actually achieve and make something of ourselves. Most people with no self-belief have no clue how they are ever going to get anything in life, so they often become overwhelmed by having to do it themselves and opt out instead. They are afraid of showing their low self-esteem, afraid to ‘look stupid’, afraid of making mistakes, afraid of what others are going to think about them, and afraid of disapproval, so they do nothing, or depend on others to do it for them.

Their lack of self-belief is replaced by an awful lot of fear which is often dogged by a search for perfection. They reason that if it cannot be done in a certain way, it cannot be done at all. A mindset that says: If I cannot get my ideal job, then I won’t do anything in the meantime. Of course, the ideal job seldom comes, so they end up not only without any kind of job, but with no experience either to help them secure a job. Not having any self-belief, it follows that their confidence and self-esteem will both be very low.

It is affirmation of our achievements that reinforces who we are. When we get no praise, no affirmation, no expectation of being able to achieve what we want, because we are perceived to be ‘lazy’, that crushes us even more and erodes our motivation further. Many people who appear motionless, selfish and dependent simply lack confidence and esteem. Some of them will mask it by acting aggressively, macho, with bravado (men mainly) and being ultra-sensitive and vulnerable (mainly women). But scratch the surface of that behaviour and there will be a very low confident, fearful person underneath. When we have had little reinforcement it is easy to develop a mindset of worthlessness and insignificance, finding it difficult to accept that we are responsible for our own lives. Instead we are likely to seek scapegoats, to expect other people, especially relatives, politicians or the government, to provide for us and make our lives much easier.

2. A lack of awareness, education and training

‘Lazy’ people are likely to be low on information, training, choices and options. They would be the last ones to know how how to use a computer, for example, so they would lose the benefits it might afford them. Being likely to be low on education, too, they are often unaware of their opportunities in life, of all the ways in which they could improve themselves simply because they wouldn’t have either the motivation or the awareness of researching it for themselves. Unless they are advised by others, or even monitored to make the effort themselves, they often prefer to remain blissfully unaware of the possibilities while pleading innocence.

3. Little faith in what is possible

As they are likely to underachieve, ‘lazy’ people are not likely to be reinforced by anyone else either, which perpetuates a cycle of apparent ‘laziness’ where nothing positive is likely to happen. Not having the self-belief, the confidence and the faith in what is possible, it is really difficult for them to see how things could possibly get better, so many opt out and live in whatever way they can, perhaps being depressed, while blaming ‘the system’, or some other faceless person for their predicament.

4. Lack of affirmation in their childhood, or with partners and significant others in their lives.

Many people who seem to have given up on their lives and appear ‘lazy’ have experienced very little by way of being VALUED, perhaps since they were born. They are likely to feel unwanted, unloved and undervalued without the knowledge or awareness to change that situation for the better. They carry around this low assessment of their worth for life, finding it debilitating and limiting, but feeling powerless to change their value in any way. They remain worthless in their own eyes, mistakenly believing that they are worthless to everyone else, too, which increasingly makes them dependent upon others for both approval and personal appreciation. This kind of person is the likeliest to become addictive to something and lose their interest in life, which confirms their perceived ‘laziness’.

For the reasons stated, even people who appear to be the laziest can be changed in their perspective. All it takes is personal reinforcement and a new mindset around their potential, raising awareness of their own value and increasing their education.

If you know anyone you believe is ‘lazy’, they could be masking something with their 'lazy' attitude. Which of those factors might apply to them? It’s not so easy changing the perspective of someone with very low self-belief, but perhaps a reassessment of their situation could give them some empathy and support to change their prospects, and even their lives!

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