Introverts vs. Extroverts

There's a lot of talk about introverts and extroverts, whether it be personality tests to find out which one you are, or memes about one of the two being better than the other, or articles about 'how to survive' as an introvert in an extroverted world (or vice versa), etc. And while most, if not all, of it is relevant, I'd like to suggest a slight reframing on how we view these concepts. It might be more helpful, in many ways, to view it in terms of energy.

Everything is energy, and I'm convinced it's less about introversion and extroversion, and more about energy givers vs. energy takers. Extroverts are the takers - they need stimulation from other people but rarely offer it themselves. They require another person's reaction to validate their own feelings, which is another way to energetically "take". The givers, or introverts in this case, have more to offer and are drained energetically because they are rarely receiving energy from the takers. They give advice, hold their reactions, offer silent support, and often have unpopular opinions that will make you think about your own in a new way. They are often the people who listen to someone else's (usually an extrovert's) problems but keep their own to themselves. They very rarely recieve energy from the outside world, and instead 'recharge' in their alone time. An extrovert will engage in conversation about anything, just for the sake of not having silence, where an introvert likely feels drained by the small talk. These two energetic dynamics are essentially opposites, but it's easier to work with it this way and find ways the two ways of being can be compatible.

I think putting the "introvert vs. extrovert" label on it makes it more about a static personality trait - an unchangeable fact about oneself that must always apply. Energy giving vs. energy taking has more to do with the environment a person is in, in most cases. It can be confusing for someone who feels like they are extroverted but doesn't necessarily fit in with the people around them, or maybe they have only experienced people around them hurting their feelings. They may remain more "introverted" in most situations, but when in a room with someone they have something in common with the could appear to be extroverted. If this person automatically labels themself as an introvert without first having an experience with someone they have something in common with, they might spend the rest of their life never even trying to bond with other people, assuming they never will.

Next time you think of labelling yourself an introvert or an extrovert, instead ask yourself how you feel in certain situations. Consider the people you speak with on a regular basis and how you usually feel after those interactions. What made you feel better or worse? If you can take some time to analyze these little details, you may find yourself feeling a little more comfortable in your own skin, and a little less likely to write off certain situations just because they don't fit your "introverted" or "extroverted" nature.