Insults, humiliation, and intrigue: what is included in the arsenal of a tyrant woman

Blogger and writer Arina Kholina talks about why women are more skilled at psychological pressure than men. And it's not just men who suffer from it.

You type in Google "psychological violence in the family" and immediately get the result "14 signs ... blablabla ... over women", "how a woman recognizes psychological violence." Although just in this field, both men and women are equal. And for women, this form of control is much more familiar than for men. In psychological violence, a woman is perfect - after all, she simultaneously pretends to be a victim, and very cleverly.

Veiled insults

“Well, I don’t read that,” a friend tells me. “Such” are my lyrics. Maybe they are “that”, but I don’t see any point in saying it out loud - especially if you are struggling to be my friend.

I mean, of course it makes sense. If I am humiliated, it is obvious that my will will be weakened - and I will be easier to manipulate. Many people think so. If you show your love with criticism, insults, insults, scandals, senseless nit-picking, then it will live forever, they say.

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Previously, this approach was called "baby". The man either immediately beat, or did not give money, or collected things and went on a drinking binge. And the woman slowly twisted the veins - so that the victim would go limp and lose the ability to resist.

“Yes, great, such a beautiful dress,” a friend tells me. "Finally, you're dressed decently." This is from his mother, whom I know well. “Leva is so smart!” - she admires very sincerely. “We are so proud of him! After all, he is so ugly with us that he only takes it with his mind. Curtain.

humiliation

Men are often psychological tyrants. But in my personal experience (which, of course, is never a statistic) - they often get it from women. Have you read Bury Me Behind the Baseboard?

“No, I thought there was no bigger fool than your grandfather in nature, but you outdid him, too,” said the grandmother. (Pavel Sanaev).

Moreover, for such women, sadism is the basic setting. They do not seem to understand that it is possible to do without violence. They cling to their manipulations like a drug addict clings to heroin.

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The grandmother of a friend told her grandson (7 years old) that her mother loves his sister more, and her sister (16 years old) that a late child is the most beloved, and that her mother will never love her like a brother. Because of this, scandals and quarrels began between the brother and sister, of course, there was hell in the house until everything was revealed.

The mother of my friends, two brothers, decided that she would love one of them more. This has always been done in a spectacular way. Of course, the father was also involved in this, trying to resolve the conflicts of his sons - in this way the wife spoiled all his free time. She is not alone - the mother of one of my ex also for some reason decided that one son would be a favorite, and the other a scapegoat. And one more such case comes to mind - there the younger one was constantly offended and punished, and the older one is still fed / watered. At 45.

And it's definitely not a matter of personal sympathy. It is the manipulation of one at the expense of the other. The logic of injustice, in which no one really feels protected - neither the one who is loved, nor the one who is hated.

nitpicking

“Maybe you should hire a housekeeper?” the friend asks. I had a housekeeper yesterday. And I even purposely, before the arrival of the dear guest, removed all the things from the floor into the closet and washed the sink. I treat her with food, and she mumbles to me that something is missing in the soup and that it is better to make mashed potatoes either with an egg, or vice versa, without butter.

At first I wanted to say something like: “Do you like healthy food so much because you think it helps get rid of acne?”, But I decided not to play by these rules (which is what she wanted) and simply asked why the hell did she tell me criticizes.

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I assured her that if she didn’t like everything so much, she could calmly get up and leave, I wouldn’t be offended. Of course, she "wanted the best." She had no intention of hurting me. "Do you have PMS?" she asks gently.

What to do with such people? They even “apologize” in a way that makes you ashamed and disgusted.

"All these people" hope to find your sore spot and pinch it properly. Or they expect to make some healthy place sick, and then scratch on it. And often they succeed - after all, no one expects from acquaintances that they only dream of making you feel bad.

And you can’t imagine that they live like this all the time and have never tried just to love someone, to be friends with someone - that’s without these nit-picking, without injections, without a voluptuous exchange of kicks and pokes. Well, in addition to personal BDSM addictions, there are also decency after all.

intrigue

“I don’t know if you should tell me ...,” says a friend with downcast eyes. Well, if it’s not worth it, maybe you don’t need to consult with me about this? Further on the program - doubts, coquetry, my "don't - don't say," and then a story about how she saw my friend hang herself on my man. From the usual exaggeratedly joyful meeting of two very drunk people, which I know about from both sides, a whole drama is made - treason, betrayal, deceit. The calculation is that for some reason I do not know about this insignificant detail of our life. And that from it it will be possible to inflate a flame in my chest. Because if they are bad, then she, this friend, is good. It needs to sow doubt, it needs to cultivate mistrust. Such women immediately turn a man against his friends, relatives, even against colleagues (these are envious nonentities).

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They are trying to suffocate a man with their existence, turn his life into a prison - and without respecting the rights of prisoners.

This is the Middle Ages, unsanitary conditions and torture.

Men get used to it. Domestic tyranny is generally such a tough virus, it very quickly affects the mind and nervous system. A person ceases to notice that his whole life is now continuous excuses, concessions and guilt. If people live like this - and to hell with them, it's their choice.

But if you have not fallen into the trap yet, run at the first sign: as soon as you are caustically criticized, as soon as they “stop talking” to you, as soon as it turns out that your friends are people who wish you harm, and as soon as you are asked to immediately block all ex-girlfriends. It won't get any better. And sex is not worth it.

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If you don’t want to become a miserable creature who is most afraid of meeting friends after work and knows for sure that punishment will follow, even if you were officially released for your best friend’s funeral, don’t hesitate, drop everything and save your soul. Until they dug into it with nails and turned it inside out.