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Illuminating Narcissism

The Love Bomb

By Angela FosnaughPublished 4 years ago 10 min read
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Illuminating Narcissism
Photo by Wu Jianxiong on Unsplash

As I talked about in part one of this ongoing series to illuminate narcissist personality disorder, narcissism wasn’t something I was really even aware of but being an empath I’m extremely observant and I understand human nature quite well so when the love bombing starting to take place I knew that something was off. It was like a script out of a movie, the fairytale love story that only one could hope for but in reality it too was too good to be true.

As soon as it began it felt like I was being mirrored. Anything I said or talked about was coming back to me through him. This was no coincidence, they only mirror you to get into your head and your heart and to see what makes you tick because remember, they have no empathy so they cannot read you. It must come through words only.

After only talking for a short time, on the phone and through text messages he asked me to marry him. I went along with his diabolical plan to see how much further he’d try and take this.

He did live several hours from me so there was no face to face interaction and this is how they like it. Keeping the mask on. Behind a computer screen is their favorite place to be because even people who aren’t empaths have intuition and can read people’s body language. Alone, behind a screen they feel that they can get away with anything!

I woke up the next day to a message with a photo of a ring. So, him sending me a picture of a ring solidified an engagement? This was so far fetched and I then understood that there were extreme mental disturbances but like I said before I wasn’t aware that there was a diagnosis for this behavior.

He then asked if I liked the ring. It was a person in the photo holding a ring out to give to another person. I laughed inside and said yes because I knew on the other side of the phone was a really disturbed human being.

It continued, the mirroring, but it was off then on. One day I was the best thing he’d ever found and then my sister was the perfect one. He’d never met my sister nor knew anything about her so I guess the fake proposal and the picture of a ring meant nothing. He created fake profiles to get on my Facebook, become friends with my friends and tell them how beautiful they were and I just laughed and was so happy that my empathy was picking up on his tactics and meanwhile he never understood that I knew. He thought somehow he was outsmarting me. He thought by telling my friends that they were so much prettier than me that it would keep me around, begging him to take notice of me but I understood my value. It’s him who didn’t.

He promised me so many things. He’d send me photos of where we were going to get married. This exotic place in Germany. I wanted to visit Germany and we had spoken about it but no that wasn’t enough. He was planning this whole outlandish escape to Germany to get married in this beautiful place because I was” the one”.

Mind you, the narcissist spends so much time trying to feed you a story just to keep you around, to keep you as their number one supply because an empath is so full of energy that they think they can continue to feed off of you forever. He continually asked me, “this is forever, right”?

With his career he toured. He was around lots of woman each time he went out to do his thing. One day I was curious as to what other woman were saying on his Facebook page. I went to the area where people can post to your page and seen a post from a woman saying how good of a kisser he was. Now was I shocked no but was sickened at the thought of how disease is spread and then my soul knew the kind of disgusting things he was doing while he was out, supposedly engaged to me.

I brought up the fact that he was out kissing these woman that just showed up to his concerts. I’m not upset, I’m disgusted. So little thought goes into their actions. They are a right now type of person and they never concern themselves with the future because in their head there are never any consequences to deal with.

A few days went by and yet another concert. I went to his page to see what other despicable things he was doing and he blocked me from seeing visitors posts. If you’re not doing anything wrong, you won’t ever block have to block your “fiancé”.

I wasn’t even mad at the fact he’s out doing all of this, I was mad at the fact that he has so little disregard for himself.

He had a girlfriend prior to this, well that’s what I was told that it was indeed prior to us ever talking. He had said that he broke up with her to be with me. Like I said before he is a soulmate of mine and he’d been searching for his soulmate for so long according to his music. I figured that because I did find him that he felt the connection too and was ready for this change. I never expected this to become anything, I was so very observant of his behavior that ever being with him by this time was not even something I thought about, my only hope at this point I could be someone to help him along the way but he took complete advantage of anything and everything I offered to him.

A couple more weeks went by I was outside at my home doing things around the house. Something told me to go inside and to pull up Facebook. I followed my intuition and low and behold there was a photo on there, well quite a few that were from earlier that day. Photos of him and his girlfriend at a show and an opening for a photography shop. I had texted him that morning and he said he’d be out for the afternoon and that was it, no more texts so I just was going about my day but something deep inside stopped me and told me to go check.

I texted him and asked him what was up with that. He didn’t respond but when he finally did he told me that it was none of my business and that he will do what he pleases. Not on my time you won’t!

He’s so egotistical, without reason. Thank goodness I was only invested as a soulmate not emotionally or this really could have broken my heart. To see him with another girl was just more confirmation that this guy just was not right!

Months went by as I continued to see what else he was going to try and get away with. I knew his ego was inflated but I couldn’t understand why. He’s not the best at what he does. He’s not the greatest looking guy out there. He’s far from perfect. He’s not a billionaire as he claimed. He doesn’t have millions of dollars like he could have had. He plays a couple shows a month.

His music is known from the 90’s. He was a known artist then, now he’s just like most of the 80’s and 90’s bands. Some people know him, most don’t. He’s still holding on to what was, not what is. He didn’t do anything with his career for fifteen years but wants to come at me calling me lazy. Calling me worthless. He has musical talent yet is spending his time chasing woman. Who’s the lazy one?

I never knew what kinda text I’d wake up to. One that what dropping the love bomb and forever or how lazy I am and to get up and do something! He spent fifteen years not doing anything but wants to tell me what to do. When to do it. How to do it.

I let no one control me or my actions. He should have researched the zodiac sign of Aquarius before he started demanding me to do what he wanted. I literally laughed all the time at him trying to control me but I kept it going just to see how far his ego thought he could push me.

I see people living with someone that have this disorder and the advice I have to give is to get out. Get away. They don’t change. It’s been six years now and since cutting him off years ago it went from love bombing to self sabotaging the relationship to him now stalking me.

He lied, repeatedly! He tried to control me. He’s like an angry toddler. If he didn't get his way he threw a temper tantrum like a child. He’s supposedly the greatest thing to ever walk the face of the earth so why must you lie, cheat, chase woman all day? You don’t have to chase woman all day and night if you’re the greatest, right?

Under the mask and the fake persona put out to the world are two totally different people. Who they are, is money hungry, power driven, egotistical liars who will cheat they’re way to the top. They have no integrity. No empathy. No morals, at all. Once they put the mask back on they are sweet, caring, loving saints and this is indeed the biggest line of dishonesty I’ve ever heard.

Being an empath I pick up on everything that’s never said. Under his fragile ego he’s broken. He’s insecure. He’s weak. He’s codependent. He’s afraid of abandonment and somehow narcissist believe that trying to cause the pain onto others that they have felt is going to keep others around but it shouldn’t and with me it won’t!

I was the person that showed up in his life to show him that there was another way. Hurting people is only hurting himself. They self sabotage themselves over and over and end up lonely in the end. We only get one life. One. In this life I’ll never allow someone else to try and control me. Please follow suit because if you’re reading this, you’re probably suspecting you could be dealing with the same type of person or you’re interested in the topic to learn more and either way I feel it’s my mission to set the alarm to this type of disorder. They are people who have extreme mental issues and they will stop at nothing to fill their empty souls. It’s a vicious cycle.

I feel I went through this and came out on top of this entire experience to put it out there so others don’t spend their life wrapped up in a such a viotle situation. You don’t deserve what the narcissist thinks is their right to deliver. You deserve so much more than what the narcissist can ever give. You deserve love and honesty. You deserve what you give and someone with this personality disorder is not someone who can ever love you. Look at them, they don’t even love themselves!

You can find me on social media.

Facebook @ life unfolding 1111

Instagram @ through_teal_eyes

personality disorder
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About the Creator

Angela Fosnaugh

Creative soul who loves to create through the use of words & I feel that my heart is full of words, waiting to be put together. After self publishing 3 books I want to get my work out for more to see it is indeed my heart & soul on paper.

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