I Will Keep You Safe

This is a story about a dream I had a few months ago. It has been on my mind since then.

I Will Keep You Safe

I had this strange dream a few months ago; well I have strange dreams all the time. The other day I dreamt that I was being chased by three small dogs, and as they're chasing me they're giving me life advice.

This dream was different though. it's still on my mind. This is going to be the first time that I'll try and make sense of it.

I was back home, in the kitchen. Our kitchen has this huge window, but I couldn't see anything outside. There was this empty dark void surrounding the house. Like the house was some kind of dollhouse in an enclosed box. It felt so isolated. It was like being in the middle of nowhere, if nowhere was at the centre of a black hole. The light from the house lit the dark walls of this space. It felt like I was trapped inside my own mind.

I hear sounds coming from the living room, voices. I walk towards the living room. I find my my mother and a man sitting on the couch. I've never seen the man before, but I knew that he's my mother's boyfriend. They're laughing at what's on the TV. It's strange seeing my mother like this, but it feels normal to me. I hear more voices… I turn and walk into my two younger sisters’ bedroom that's across from the living room. I see my two little brothers, and and my sisters sitting on the twin beds playing a game. They are not looking at me.I realise that no one has noticed me. I'm a lucid dreamer, so I knew that I was dreaming. I can't influence what happens in a dream, I can only watch it. It's like being awake, and not being able to control your body.

Something changed. I started feeling pure dread like something is going to happen. I know I'm dreaming, but why am I feeling so scared? I hear a three taps at the door. Tap, tap, tap. I walk towards the front door. The taps turn into knocks. Knock, Knock, Knock. I get to the front door, I reach for the door handle. Bang, bang, bang! I pull my hand back as if pulling it away from danger.

It got quiet. I stood there in shock. I walked back into the living room to try and see who's at the front door. My heart's still pounding.

I lean over the couch that's in front of the living room window. using my hand I part the curtains, trying not to make it too obvious. I move my head closer, closing one eye so that I'm able to see through the the small opening I created.

I turn white as a sheet. It was like looking at pure evil. It took the form of a giant black wolf with a cloak of darkness surrounding it.

I shoot back screaming. I move backwards until I stop, my back against the opposite wall. I was shaking uncontrollably. I turn to my mother who's now looking at me. “There's something outside!” She smiled at me, and said, “it's nothing, you should get some sleep.”

Sleep? I had to keep my family safe. I ran into the kitchen, and moved the cupboard In front of the kitchen door, then the table, and any other heavy items I could find to barricade the back door. My little brothers came to see what all the noise was about. I looked at them, and said that I was going to keep them safe. They had this look of fear and hopelessness on their faces. My little brother asked me if I took my medication, and that I should get some sleep.

There it was again, sleep. How could I sleep with this thing stalking us like prey. I move from window to window to check that they were all closed. Checking each and every crevice this thing could enter from the outside. My brothers are following me. They're staying close. I feel it's coming. I hear this thing's footsteps outside. There are scratching sounds at the front door, it's louder and louder. I run towards the front door throwing myself against it to keep it closed. Bang after bang my heart races faster and faster. It's going to get in, it's going to get in, I think. My heart racing so fast to the point where I had to wake up. I was gasping for air, the bed soaking wet, adrenaline rushing through my bloodstream.

It took me awhile to get back to normal after that.

The interesting thing about this dream is that this event really happened. Not exactly.

I took my mother's place in the dream. I felt my mother's fear and the loneliness she was feeling. She suffered from depression. That night it got worse. I helplessly watched my mother go through her psychosis that night. We should've gotten her the help she needed.

I was still a kid when this all happened. I saw my mother losing her mind that night and I couldn't do anything to help her. The sounds of breaking plates, moving furniture, and my mother's screams woke me up. It was two o'clock in the morning. I ran to go and see what was happening. My heart pounding. I stood in the kitchen doorway in shock. I followed her as she ran to every door and window trying to keep us safe from this “monster.” The fear I felt was unexplainable. I just wanted to make sure that she didn't hurt herself, or my little brothers and sisters. She tried to keep us safe from a beast, while I tried to keep us safe from her. It was school in the morning. I didn't sleep. A month later my mother ran away from home. Things were never the same again.

depression
Read next: Never In the Cover of Night
Lanchester Naanyane

I'm writing about my life. 

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