I don't fear the virus

by ASHLEY SMITH 4 months ago in coping

not yet anyway

I don't fear the virus

This is a very personal piece and please read it but don't take anything I say for granted without checking and choose your own precautions.

There's a few reasons why this super virus doesn't worry me at the moment. The last year has been mainly filled with bad news, bad luck and bad timing and at the moment this is just another thing to add to the massive list. It will have an effect on existing problems but wont change them too much. My fiancé lost her job and this virus is making it extra hard to find work as so many people are closing or pausing business.

In turn this could also affect our up coming wedding. It could mean delays and the evening do is in a pub so even if the wedding happens the evening might be spoiled. As we were already determined for this to work out covoid is just another hurdle to be jumped.

We have relatives with underlying health conditions who could be in trouble if they catch it, also one needs a big operation that could be delayed. Again, speaking personally I have to accept we could all be at risk, whatever we do. With some simple precautions you can make it more unlikely that you will catch it but unless you live alone in a bubble for the next few months there are still chances.

I am the only wage earner at present plus I am a carer at a home for disabled adults so I doubly have to work. We have plans in place to limit risks for staff and residents but again there's a limit with everything. Staff will still come and go to the site, everyone they don't bring in an infection that could make residents ill or worse. Also staff could bring it in and make a colleague ill, they could affect their family and start an unfortunate chain that way.

Ignore virtually all you read on line, handwashing, cleaning surfaces, coughing into a tissue and keep apart from people as much as possible is all you can do. Nothing else is proven to work, its not caused by 5g phone masts and special toothpaste wont help. Prayer wont do it either, if you get it then its your bad luck unfortunately. I am going to try to not increase my already massive stress level with something I have to accept could happen to me.

Fifteen years ago on my mums 6oth birthday terrorists attacked London. They blew up 3 underground trains and one bus, killing many. A few hours later I went to work, working on trains. Not knowing for sure if other attacks might happen. Many years before after a serious train crash near London I chose to go to London with my family. I knew we would pass over the spot where many died, I didn't know the train we had was partly made of carriages from the crash.

Its not being reckless or irresponsible, its being realistic. I cant say something will never happen, I cant say who things will happen too. I have just come to accept risk happens and you can either live in the aforementioned bubble or live your lives.

Another factor that could be there is that although my father is fit and well his father and grandad died under 50 years old. I turn 50 in a few months and am not stopping to take stock. In fact my fiancé is 27 years younger then me and we are still desperate for the wedding. I could have stopped our developing relationship 3 years ago if I was worried by age gaps but life's to short.

If I get the virus defined cough, breathing problems and ever I will obviously take it very seriously. I work with numerous colleagues, numerous residents and have my partner to consider. I have to think of her health but also of her parents and their health problems. One careless infected person could infect hundred easily. I wont be careless but will panic when I need too, hoping that time doesn't come.

coping
ASHLEY SMITH
ASHLEY SMITH
Read next: Never In the Cover of Night
ASHLEY SMITH

England based carer, live with girlfriend. will write for all areas but especially mental health and disability. though as stuff for filthy seems popular will try there too

See all posts by ASHLEY SMITH