I Choose to Dance With PTSD

Dear Coach Bennet:

Thank you for teaching me that every run has a purpose. I totally agree with you. But could the key to becoming a stronger runner be...running less, not more? And a simple shifting of your tunes?

WEDNESDAY

• 8:15am = Meditation, light, hydration, shroom, tea brewing, discussion leading. Not THOSE kinds of shrooms. I haven't done those since college. I'm talking cordyceps Dude. Day 13, Finding the Key to Renewal. "Renewal is always possible. A cut finger heals. Tulips pop up in the spring. My choices uphold and support my life." 21 Day Meditation Experience, Hope in Uncertain Times.

"Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope in this deep and powerful sense, is...an ability to work for something because it is good." --Vaclav Havel

• 8:43am = Tea ingested. Moved for the morning. Opened my window. Morning movement was a blend of tai chi, one pound hand weights, and iTunes shuffle. Later I did some home brewed karaoke for 25 minutes. During which I danced with my broom to Material Girl, and shot a music video, right here on my lap of luxury studio. I also managed to burn 168 calories.

• 10:23am = My stomach started growling. I popped and chewed a piece or two of crystallized ginger. WOOHA now THAT was some morning greeting. Then I prepared some actual food for myself.

• 12:32pm = Sid and Nancy, who live in the apartment above me, started arguing. LOUDLY! They had another bad one at 2:24pm. Things and stuff kept hitting their ground, my ceiling.

• My run this afternoon was inspired by the annual March of The Living, held annually between Auschwitz and Birkenau. The distance is 3.5 kilometers, or 2.2 miles. I chose to run this distance in Brooklyn, in memory of the family members, as well as their home towns, which have perished. And to honor my family members who survived. I am here to tell their stories. And carry on their names.

I didn't choose PTSD. But I chose to live with it. Dance with it. And run with it, not from it.

And wouldn't you know it. I decided to listen to "Matisyahu Radio" on Spotify. I was noticing just how beautiful the tulips and dandelions in the neighborhood were. And how much better today was, compared to yesterday afternoon's anxiety attack, which I think I handled well. And then right there, into my ears flew:

See everybody that's existing

Got a mind of their own

We're all Kings and Queens

With a throne of our own

Tryin' to raise a family

Is an empty home

We got to learn to stick together

Hate to be here alone

'Cause the world is a place

That will eat you alive in one day

Said the world is a place

That you can't survive without faith

Sometimes in my tears I drown

But I never let it get me down

So when negativity surrounds

I know someday it'll turn around

Because

All my life I've been waiting for

I've been [hoping] for

For the people to say

That we don't wanna fight no more wars

And our children will play

One day

--"One Day," Matisyahu

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• Thank you so much for reading to the bottom of this post. So many of you have been so kind to the words which I have written. I know this because of the tip money, which has been thrown into my virtual hat. Each and every Anonymous one of you. I respect you, honor you, and I am humbly grateful.

@CoachBennett

@HostDefense

@Oprah

@DepakChopra

@motlorg

@Matisyahu

@Spotify

@Woodstockfoods