How Your Words Or Actions Could Destroy A Child’s Entire Life?
They could never be able to recover from this emotional hurt…
Anyone that has met Anna would have thought that she is a lucky lady blessed with what it takes to be on the winning team in life. Even Anna herself believes so.
However, that’s not the case and many are puzzled why is she still single, without much career success and wealth? Including Anna herself.
Beneath that pretty face and body are a soul that still struggles to overcome the emotional hurt she has endured for the past few decades…
Anna is the youngest child in a family of seven siblings. It was an accidental pregnancy for her parents as they had planned to stop having any more children after their sixth child, as the family was very poor. Her mother had tried to abort her by drinking some traditional herbal drinks that were believed able to abort the baby.
However, this didn’t work and Anna ended up coming into this world despite this not welcoming act. She was a beautiful baby, and she seemed normal. It’s just that she didn’t want to drink her mother’s milk. Her mother had to feed her with milk powder out of no choice.
Maybe because of this and that herbal abortion drinks, Anna’s body is not very strong physically. That abortion drink didn’t kill Anna, but it had caused a hidden defect later on in Anna, which was the major cause of her life agony.
As Anna was growing up into adolescence, she noticed that both sides of her chest do not develop evenly as they should be. She was innocently hoping that the other flat side will ‘catch up’ later with the developing side, but it never happens.
The feelings of insecurity and awkwardness grappled on her — why am I not the same as all other girls? She inserted cotton into her bra to make it looks balanced on both sides of her chest. She needed to choose a bra that was made of harder material so that it gives the natural look of roundness and softness.
Anna was cautious when it comes to physical education class. She worried that the cotton may drop off from her bra, or someone saw the cotton inside her bra when she bent down, or someone bangs into her chest accidentally and found out why it does not have the feeling of flesh? All these worries made her stay inactive in these classes, which later on resulted in her being inept at socializing.
Another thing that further contributed to Anna’s self-cautiousness is having extremely yellowish teeth. This could be because of the medicine that her mother had taken during her pregnancy. Anna dared not smile, as it looked ugly when she opened her mouth.
She was sick of people asking why her teeth were so yellowish. She hardly smiles and this made her appear to be unfriendly. As she grows older, her skin tone has become more yellowish, probably due to her mother’s abortion drinks, and was worsened by her not drinking her mother’s milk when she was an infant.
Anna was becoming depressing each day as everyone be it her classmates, sister, or neighbors was telling her that she is ugly. No one offered her a solution. She was constantly in a state of sadness, and this condition over the years had filled the negative energy in her aura. People can sense it even from a distance. This had made Anna an unpopular kid.
The friends of her elder sisters threw her a scornful look when she joined their gathering. Her sister’s classmate told her — ‘Why are you so ugly? My younger sister is much prettier!’. One of her sisters told her — ‘Why your face looks like a mouse face?’
Most of the teachers in the school favored other prettier students while giving the cold shoulder to Anna despite her excellent results. All this made Anna lose her self-confidence, feel unwanted, and have the twisted thinking that being pretty is the most important thing in life. This has paved a tough road ahead in her life to blend in well in the human jungle, her timidness had caused her to miss out on many opportunities in life.
After Anna has grown up, she wanted to fix her chest defects and her yellowish teeth. Fortunately, there were such medical technologies available. However, it was not all smooth sailing along the way. The rarity of her defects and the ignorant of her mother and sister, Anna had gone through a rather humiliating process during the early consultations over the years.
She still vividly remembered how the doctor’s assistant looked at her when the doctor was examining her. It was as though Anna is an alien. After three rounds of consulting different doctors, only Anna finally has satisfying results that probably could last her a lifetime.
Anna is a late bloomer, to many people’s surprise even herself, she has grown from an ugly duckling to become a beautiful swan that many men admire. Unfortunately, life has not been easy for Anna along the way as she was constantly struggling with her childhood hurt. She was extremely self-conscious, timid, with low self-confidence, low self-esteem, very emotional and passive. She has inferior complexity and is hard to comprehend.
It will take someone considerable time and effort to truly understand the real motive behind her behaviors. While her good looks attracted suitors to her quite easily, her main problem is to be open to the relationships and be equal in the give and take.
This is worsened by her inborn personality trait of a perfectionist. She is ambitious but at the same time, her defects made her feel she does not deserve the good men that she actually likes. It ended up that she married a man that she didn't really like as she thought that's the standard she deserves. She always gave the wrong signals to the men — she will make it very difficult for the men that she likes, and easy for the men that she doesn’t like.
It was not a surprise that this was a short-lived marriage, she divorced after a year of marriage. All her traits were going against reality. She had missed out on the opportunities again and again that had thrown her to the bottom of life, time and time again, both in relationship and career.
Seeing that she achieved little in life in the worldly sense, Anna becomes devastated and once was considered becoming a nun and running away from reality. It is very cruel for her to face the failures again and again while the people around her are enjoying the fortunes that she has wanted all her life. She felt very helpless as though she was tied up to witness all these scenes right under her eyes for almost her entire life, cutting her slowly with a sharp knife.
After the drama that broke her soul, she almost had given up hope in her life and felt like she has been cursed for her whole life, and she would never be able to recover.
Fortunately, with the help of her two close friends, she gets hold of her footing and stays grounded. She is still nursing her childhood hurt and looks forward to overcoming it with the love and support of her family, a few close friends, and hopefully one day with that someone special. Having an understanding life partner that accepts her for who is she, would make her feel complete and reimburse the feeling of ‘unwanted’ and have a fulfilling life.
We are all learning along the way of our life journey. We are not able to learn all the lessons in this world by ourselves. It is very important to learn from other people's experiences and remind ourselves not to make similar horrible mistakes.
Always treat others how you want to be treated. Never hurt the vulnerable group like the children. The little unfriendly gesture or remark of yours may hurt them emotionally, even with you being unintentional. You may never ever imagine the impact of your words or actions on their whole life that is so detrimental.
It is essential to think from other peoples’ perspectives, and not only ours. Although we are all human our personalities and life encounters are different. Something that may not seem a big deal to you could matter a lot to other people.
Always try to have an understanding of the people you are dealing with and observe their expressions or reactions during the interactions. This will help you to get some clues on how they feel and say the right thing with the right tone.
Everyone is beautiful in their unique way, albeit not by the social standard.
If you do not like certain peoples’ appearance, or you just dislike someone without reason, you may choose to stay away from them, but do not hurdle them with unfriendly looks or words. Words are as sharp as a knife, but it cuts deeper than a knife.
* Originally published at https ://medium.com
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