How to Control Anger? These Tips to Help you Stay Calm

Anger management is a type of counseling to help you manage feelings of anger that affect your health, work, behavior, or personal relationships.

Anger is a natural emotion that affects everyone.

Things that might make you angry:

• Losing someone you love (sad)

• sexual frustration

• being tired, hungry, or in pain

• effect of certain drugs

• premenstrual syndrome

• to be humiliated

• feeling in danger

• feeling that you are being ignored or not taken seriously

• being under the influence of alcohol or drugs

• Something reminds you of unpleasant memories in the present

Mild anger can be expressed as annoyance or anger.

However, some people become angry frequently and inappropriately, and once angry they may be unable to control their actions.

Once anger gets out of control like this, it can cause problems with relationships, work, and even the law. Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments and physical fights. It can impair your ability to think and make decisions and lead to actions that are unreasonable or irrational.

In a recent survey for the Mental Health Foundation, 28% of adults said they worry about how angry they sometimes feel, and 32% have a friend or relative who There is a problem with dealing with anger.

Physical signs of anger

Everyone has a physical reaction to anger. Your body releases stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, which increase your heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, and breathing.

This allows you to focus on the threat and react quickly. However, it can also mean that you don't think straight and may react in ways that you may regret later.

When your body is exposed to large amounts of stress hormones due to outbursts of anger, you can become unwell.

How anger can affect your health

Intense and uncontrolled anger is linked to health conditions such as:

• high blood pressure

• Headache

• back pain

• insomnia

• skin conditions such as eczema

• Digestive disorders such as irritable bowel syndrome

• Depression

• Worry

• heart attack

• stroke

• If anger is hidden or suppressed, it can lead to:

• eating disorders

• self-harm

• drug or alcohol abuse

• low self-esteem

helping oneself

Healthy ways of dealing with anger include:

• recognize anger when

• taking time to cool down

• reducing your normal stress levels in life

You can also see what makes you angry and how you deal with those feelings. Learn about self-help tips for anger management or check out the Mental Health Foundation's Cool Down Handbook, which includes advice for where to find professional help.

Anger management

For some people, self-help techniques will not be enough and they will need to attend an anger management course to learn how to manage their anger.

Anger management typically consists of a combination of face-to-face sessions with a counselor or therapist and group work with others with anger management issues.

If you think you need anger management, contact your doctor.

The alternative is to pay for a course or counselor privately.

Getting help

If you can't deal with your anger issues, talk to your doctor. They may be able to refer you to another service for help.

The different types of treatments to manage anger are summarized below, along with links to more information.

Counseling

Some types of counseling or talking therapy can help you figure out the causes of your anger so that you can understand and work on them.

Counseling involves talking with someone who can help you find your own solutions to your problems and gain a greater understanding of your feelings and actions. 

For example, feelings of anger may be related to unresolved issues you may have had with your parents, childhood, partner, or your current place in the world.

Counseling is usually provided over several weeks or months.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is based on the principle that most unwanted thinking patterns, feelings, and behaviors are learned over a long period of time.

The purpose of CBT is to identify the unwanted thoughts that are causing your unwanted feelings and behaviors and learn to replace this thinking with more balanced thoughts.

Many professionals use CBT, including clinical psychologists, occupational therapists, psychiatrists, nurses, counselors, and social workers.

CBT is usually provided over several weeks or months.

Anger management programs

A typical anger management program may include face-to-face counseling and working in a small group. Programs may include a day or weekend course. In some cases, it can be more than a few months.

Talk to your doctor to find out if they offer anger management courses in your area.

Program structure can vary depending on the provider, but most programs involve the use of CBT techniques as well as counseling.

Domestic violence programs

This type of program can last up to 18 months and is necessary if you are unable to control your temper and are violent towards your family members.

The focus of this program is to support and provide help so that you are able to take responsibility for your actions and understand how it affects others.

You will need to cooperate with the requirements of the program, including dealing with any other issues, such as reducing your alcohol intake.

Compliance with the requirements may be a condition of your parole or probation, and failing to do so may have legal implications.

Counseling is a guided discussion with an independent trained person to help you find your answer to a problem or issue. Psychiatrists are doctors who treat mental and emotional health conditions using speaking and listening methods. 

Psychotherapy is the treatment of mental and emotional health conditions using speaking and listening methods.

Self-help for anger

If you have a problem with anger, there are methods you can use to try to control it yourself.

Recognizing your anger signs

Your heart beats faster and you breathe faster, ready for action. You may also notice other signs, such as tension in your shoulders or tightness in your fists.

If you notice these signs and you struggle to stay in control, try to get out of the situation using the methods below.

Count to 10

Counting down from 0 to 10 and then from 10 to 0 gives you time to calm down so you can think more clearly and let go of impulsivity.

Breathe slowly

When you feel angry you breathe more. Make sure you exhale longer than you inhale and relax while exhaling. This will help you to calm down and think clearly.

Leave the environment

If your environment or the people around you make you angry, briefly letting go of the environment may help. Try taking a walk around the block or sitting on the toilet for a few minutes.

Talk to yourself calmly

Some people, when they are feeling angry, find it helpful to repeat a phrase or word to themselves, such as "Take it easy" or "These feelings will soon pass." Or you can imagine a calm person you know talking to you and advising you to relax.

Distraction

Distracting yourself from the situation that is making you angry can help, such as reading a magazine or listening to relaxing music.

Relieving physical tension

It is possible to overcome pent-up physical stress without harming yourself or others. If you feel the need to push something, use a mattress. And if you feel like screaming, you can try screaming in a pillow.

Exercise is a great way to relieve stress as well as improve your mood.

Venting your feelings

Sharing your feelings and frustrations with friends can often help you get a better perspective on a situation.

You can also try writing about how you feel. However, don't post something on the Internet or social network site in the spirit of the moment that you may regret later.

Changing the way you think

How often you think about people, problems, and situations can determine how you feel and act about them. It is common to reach into non-helpful patterns of thinking, which can then lead to non-helpful patterns of behavior.

Changing the way you think plays an important role in a type of talking therapy known as cognitive-behavioral therapy.

When people are angry, the language they use is often very black and white, such as: "It's all ruined now," which reinforces their feelings of anger. This type of language and thinking prevents you from looking for possible solutions to a problem and can upset those around you.

When you start to get angry, avoid using these types of words and phrases:

• always ("You always do this")

• never ("You never listen to me")

• should/don't want ("You should do what I want" or "You shouldn't be on the streets")

• should/shouldn't ("I should be on time" or "I shouldn't be late")

• should/don't want ("people should get out of my way")

• This is not correct

Angry people try to make demands instead of requests. This can make a bad situation worse. It's always better to say "you want something" rather than "you should have it."

Anger can quickly make you irrational and cause you to lose all perspective. Try to go back and think about a situation logically. 

For example, losing a wallet or purse can be annoying, but most people lose a wallet at least once or twice during their life. As a disappointment, it is not the end of the world.

Problem-solving

The situations or issues in your life that cause you anger can be solved by problem-solving and planning.

For example, if driving in traffic on your way to work makes you annoyed with other road users, it may be better to take a bus or train or, if possible, go to work to avoid rush hours. Change the hours.

If you argue with your partner in the evening, it could be because both of you are tired after a day's work. You could wait till Sunday morning to talk about the issues.

However, not every problem can be solved and you may need to focus your efforts on learning how to best cope with the problem and then moving forward.

Improving communication

Often when you exchange anger with someone, your and the other person's reactions can immediately lead to misunderstandings and lead to wrong conclusions.

This is why it is important to slow down, listen to what is being said, and then think carefully before responding.

It's natural to feel defensive if someone is criticizing you, but that shouldn't encourage you to respond with your own "verbal attack." 

Instead, try to remain calm and ask non-threatening questions about why the person feels the need to criticize you in this way. Often what you first see as an attack is actually a problem the other person is trying to cope with.

Humor

Humor can play an essential role in helping to reduce feelings of anger and maintain a healthy sense of perspective.

For example, imagine you're having a really bad day, where everything seems to be going wrong. 

Instead of portraying yourself as a victim and becoming increasingly angry, try portraying yourself as a sitcom "funny person" – a Basil Fawlty, David Brent, or Homer Simpson, for example. 

Then, if things keep going wrong, they may make you look ridiculous rather than frustrating, and your mood may improve.

Learning not to take yourself or your life too seriously can often help put things in the proper perspective.

However, it is important to avoid using sarcasm when dealing with other people. Sarcastic humor can be construed as aggression.

Managing anger in the long term

Once you can recognize the signs that you are getting angry and calm yourself down, you can begin to look at ways to control your anger more generally.

Exercise

Exercise is one of the best ways to let go of built-up anger and stress. Running, walking, swimming, yoga, and meditation are some activities that boost the production of your "good mood" hormones (such as endorphins) and help reduce stress.

Diaphragmatic breathing

Diaphragm breathing is a breathing exercise that focuses on fully inflating your lungs, helping you to relax. Here is a simple guide:

• Sit or lie down comfortably and loosen your clothes.

• Place one hand on your chest and one on your stomach.

• Breathe in through your nose and slowly count to three in your head.

• When you inhale, feel with your hands that your stomach expands. If your chest expands, focus on breathing from your diaphragm.

• Breathe in slowly through clean lips and count to six slowly.

• Repeat two more times.

Music

Listening to calming music, such as classical music, can help you relax. It can slow your pulse and heart rate, reduce stress hormones, and lower your blood pressure.

Massage and relaxation

The kneading and patting in the massage help to relax tense muscles and improve your circulation.

Some people find that relaxation classes are good at reducing stress levels and helping control anger. Yoga, Pilates, and Tai Chi may also be helpful.