Harmony from within

“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to split open.” - Natalie Goldberg

It is not a secret to those close to me: I am a notebook junkie, and the stationery stores are my candy shops! Carefully designed covers that just resonate with who I am, blank pages represent the open canvas to my future, full of opportunities. But that is not why journaling is good for our self-esteem.

Journaling can bring out the best, and the worst in us. It brings out the things you may not have said, actions you may be too afraid to pursue. But that sounds kind of scary, no? Maybe. But let’s ponder about this with the development of our self-esteem, and let’s use myself as an example (and I hope you can resonate).

You have heard about the stories of my childhood from my posts, and how I was raised in a mental environment where I was never doing anything right. It was hurtful - though my parents never said “You are not good enough” they said “do it this way, that way is wrong, why do you like these sports that are not going to get you anywhere?” and to ME, “not enough” was implied. They all wanted what was best for me…I know that now. But at our mental development age, as our brain is starting to form its own logic, without affirmations has most definitely led to an unhealthy self-image and resentment.

To me, and I am sure to many of you, the tendency of self-doubt or self-blame may not have formed, if there were consistent MENTAL check-ins from our caretakers. My check-ins were normally about how well I presented to the world, not how I felt inside, about this big scary world.

It was not until many (like MANY) years later, that I started writing down everything I could in a journal. The benefits of writing things down are plentiful, and here are a few reasons:

Journaling is therapeutic. Especially when we keep the consistency of writing our feelings and situations down. When I started journaling at least once a week, I realized I was beating the same tune - meaning that something was always troubling me (at the time was my destructive behaviors of proving to someone who was not worth my time, that I was worthy of his love) - but I approached these emotions them with the same actions (the hot and cold push and pull game with this fellow). With that conscious comprehension - by journaling, I might add - I decided to change. I decided to read about attachment style, and that opened the door to even more discovery about myself, and human behaviors.

Moreover, journaling gives us some time to slow down, and reflect. Some of you may be able to relate: Being an over-achiever, life is draining in the fourth week of the month. I often feel like I have so many projects and aspirations, but they are failing, because I am stretched too thin. The cycle could continue, over and over again, then we develop a sense of self-doubt. So when we sit down and write about just anything, it slows our brain waves down, we stop being analytical (which is a big part of our stress is from) and it gives us some time to breathe. What's more, we list down the things we have accomplished or the productive day we have had at work, and we reflect on our week or day…that is when we suddenly realize it is ok to feel overwhelmed with all the things we wanted to accomplish, and we are, in essence, getting a lot done. This “epiphany” boosts our self-esteem.

One last tip, you can choose to journal when you feel overwhelmed or, you can choose to do it consistently. My choice to write consistently. But not like a whole 200-word essay every day, which will be counter-productively overwhelming. Journaling can simply be writing down what I have done today that is a part of my self-care routine, or an affirmation statement and gratitude statement. Journaling regularly evens out our ups and downs, think “losing weight” - will it be harder to start working out when you realize you have gained 10 pounds, or will easier if you keep a consistent routine and don’t feel like dying and out of breathe every time you pick up the fitness regiment?

I have created a self-care calendar with note pages to keep track of our self-care routine, and a guided journal for simple reflection to boost our self-esteem, all featured on my homepage and my Amazon page. Because of these seemingly simple actions, I was able to change my perspectives and my life. I hope that I can help you do that too! Remember, true self-care is not about what you need, is it about what you truly want, from the bottom of your heart - creating harmony from within, one simple act, like journaling, at a time.

(Original post: https://www.yushinewellness.com/post/harmony-from-within-the-magic-of-journaling-for-our-self-esteem)