Get F***ing Free of Anxiety

A little post on the art of "letting go." Sounds so fucking easy doesn't it? Well, it ain't and we know this all too well. On all platforms, we hold onto everything like a warm fluffy teddy, whether it be a bad relationship, possessions, anger, depression, anxiety, the list goes on, but this little teddy isn't so "fluffy." He's filled with rusty nails and sharp knives, and the tighter we hold onto this little bastard, the more pain we end up in, covered in cuts, and bleeding, wherever we go, as just a little reminder that he's still there, waiting for a cuddle. Creepy! But we all do it, even if we don't know it!

The famous Buddhist Master, Thich Nhat Hanh says:

"Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free."

Anxiety!

I've been a major league worrier since I can remember. I always think the worst in every situation, even after the event! Totally stupid! Anxiety is a desperate fear of being in the present, constantly driving for more, trying to change every damn thing. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety a few years ago and ever since, I have been over thinking everything! And every worry that I invite into my life has a seriously negative impact on everything in it. I hate it, yet I keep on doing it, until I fill up, and break down. Floods of tears, anger, tetchiness, nit picking at everything I do, self hate, etc etc. E-X-H-A-U-S-T-I-N-G.

My best way to diminish my anxiety is to talk. Talk to people that matter, talk to people who will listen, talk to people who will say nice things, talk to anyone! Get the shit in my head all out on the table, and then tackle it! Most of the time just talking is half of the battle for me. Do I have a real issue that I can tell someone? Yes! Then I just tell whoever I have chosen that day and pour it out.

Don't have anyone to talk to? Talk to me! Rant, rave, whatever you want. I am here as just someone to vent to if you need it. I've been there!

Sometimes I can talk to myself about it. I go and sit alone in a room where I won't be disturbed (even at work). I just sit and breathe first. Breathing is a huge part of anxiety, and you can actually breathe your way out of it (sort of). Let me explain. You have a part of your brain at the back of your head, the ancient brain, known as the "reptile brain." This is where your fight or flight comes from (I know, I know, you've heard it all before, but just listen! I hadn't heard of this little tactic but when I tried it, it worked). When you are in that "fight or flight" stage, your body thinks you've gotta get yourself pumped to fight a fucking lion, and if your body can fight off a big old stinking lion, then you can fight off this anxiety.

You start to feel more alert, you notice everything around the room, people talking, moving, lights, sounds etc., and you need to watch every move that huge ginger cat is making, and listen out for more on the horizon! You feel sick, butterflies fluttering all around your stomach. You're about to fight a lion remember.You ain't gonna be eating anytime soon, so all that blood flow is pulled away from your stomach and into your muscles, ready for macho time! Oops, gotta go to the loo! You gotta get rid of all that extra weight you're carrying around, and what better way than to "shit yourself" literally! Ever wondered where that phrase came from? Now you know. Libido low at the moment? Can’t get intimate and you don’t know why? “We’re fighting lions, darling, there’s no time for love making!!” Your muscles need optimum energy and strength right now so all of that lovely blood is pumping towards them, tingling hands and feet. But wait! Where is all that oxygen gonna come from?! Your lungs, instead of breathing at a normal, relaxed rate, are on double time, dragging in short, quick breaths and only filling up half way. This is where the technique comes in! Remember, this doesn’t have to be ten minute flash. These fight or flight symptoms can last for days, weeks! I’ve had a whole week of this in the past, non stop. It made me physically ill and was very, very uncomfortable. It can happen without you even realising it.

Sit somewhere comfortable and not too upright; put one hand on your belly and one on your chest. Which one is moving? If your chest is moving, you're in a state of anxiety or panic. You need to slow it down to allow the conscious brain, to tell that reptile brain that there are no fucking lions anywhere and it needs to stop overreacting like a little bitch.

Breathe in deeply, as deep as you can for say, five seconds (this can be longer if you wish), hold for three seconds, and then exhale for five (or longer). Repeat this for at least 30 seconds and you will start to recognise this phase dispersing. The anxiety can still be there, but can give you a clearer view to really understand the problem and conquer it.

What the hell is the worst that can happen? Ask yourself this. Then ask, so if that's the worst that can happen, what is so bad about that? And then, what is so bad about that? And keep working down and down until you find the underlying issue. PS, there always is one. You might not find it straight away and you might not even want to try this at all at first. The simple breathing exercise is a major help for me to just release all the tension from my muscles and allow my mind to wind down, and stop panicking.

Another little trick I like to add to this also helps me a lot. You see, like all of us, the reptile brain loves a little bargain, and if it knows that ultimately it can get what it wants, it will do anything. I start off, before doing the breathing exercise, to tell it (ultimately, myself), to calmly shut the fuck up for a few minutes (or even seconds) and if it does, it can come back and start worrying about these stupid lions again, but only if it shuts up for a while. So then, I do the breathing exercise. And often it does come back and start shouting at me, so I begin the exercise again, and like anything, it does take practise, but you can convince that reptile brain, that you're not listening to it, and it will give up trying.

Then, you can start to think about putting that cuddly little bear (in disguise) in the bin, for good. And think about getting a new one, perhaps not filled with nails this time.

PS, I've still got my prickly teddy. I know he's there. I just definitely don't cuddle him anymore!

Blessed be.