From virtual exaggerated groups to real lies not exposed

Growing up, we've been told to introspect, to be humble, and to accept criticism from our parents. Even if you do good deeds, you still have to be told in the end, you can't be proud. It's so hard to get compliments!

After all, in this world, there will be moments that make you collapse every day, and you will be abused into scum by study and work every day. We are anxious and long for compliments, but because we are adults, we can’t ask for compliments at will. If there is no outlet for stress relief, it will be a matter of time before you get overwhelmed by stress. So young people invented the Kua Kua group. In this group, everyone is a stranger. No matter what you post, you will receive praise and encouragement. Some netizens call it "the source of happiness in a bitter life".

Some people say that the predecessor of "Qua Kua Group" is Douban "Mutual Praise Group". The group's rules are: don't post selfies, don't swear, I hope everyone will praise those who live seriously and enlighten those friends who are in pain

Let’s not talk about the development of this form to the later charges, it reflects a social reality, everyone’s life is quite difficult, even if you know it’s fake, sometimes you still need comfort. We all understand that spending $5 doesn't buy real recognition, but we still want it, why? We are too fragile, we need the affirmation and approval of others too much, and we need too much to find an intangible but visible certainty in the uncertainty of youth.

For example: a netizen who suffers from depression shares his feelings. He said: "I've been sick for several days! I want to beat people and scold people! But! I didn't cry today! And I went to take a bath with a small basket by myself! Am I very bad! I actually went out! Please praise me! I have one more day to live!"

When someone says that he has a flat chest, someone will praise: "An excellent woman, no matter what she does, she is A!" "A casual dress reveals a sense of luxury, jealous!"

I lost my bicycle, I couldn't find it after searching for a long time, please praise. Some people praised: in the process of looking for a bicycle, I repeatedly exercised my body, praise! The next bike will be even more beautiful. Lost the car without being irritable, indicating that several people are elegant and boastful.

Whether it is an unscrupulous liar in online shopping, being criticized by a boss for an internship, or losing an umbrella on a rainy day, one after another of "tragedies in the world" that make people feel bad can be instantly transformed by the creative praises of Zhejiang University's group friends. Warm and healing.

Whether it is bragging, or comforting; whether it is heart-wrenching or funny, when kindness is diffused, its meaning has exceeded the kindness itself.

Along with praise comes criticism. Some people say that Kua Kua Qun is a modern utopia, a sunny paradise, a holy land of business bragging, and a paradise without gangsters. However, some people who oppose the quake group actually do things like the quake group. We call such people "high emotional intelligence".

They believe that not revealing is the measure of being a person. In interpersonal relationships, it is necessary to leave room for everything.

A girlfriend who has been plagued by depression for many days finally broke through by herself to go out to play, enjoy the world, and integrate into nature. She posted a refined picture in the circle of friends. As a result, a girlfriend who identified herself as the Disciplinary Committee of the circle of friends thought the photo was not in line with the usual. For her image, leave a message under the photo: "Isn't this you? The picture is too much edited."

In less than two seconds, the girl who posted the photo deleted the picture and text. How long does it take for her to heal this injury? I don't know, but I know that this is the first time she has gone to play alone since she said goodbye to her depression, and she has been saving money for more than half a year.

How many people do not hesitate to destroy the mood and dignity of others in order to flaunt their worth? It's really stupid to "debunk the truth" in public opinionatedly.

Selfies were originally born to please oneself. In fact, everyone who posted selfies knows in their hearts: "Yes, I have become more beautiful after using Meitu software." If you don't like it, just ignore it and go. Well, after all, this kind of behavior has not caused bad social impact, why bother?

There are too many similar things in life. For example, some people show off their purses every day, but they are actually fake; some people show their love in the circle of friends every day, but in fact the relationship between husband and wife is in jeopardy... Some people know the truth, but most people will choose not to. To debunk, why? No one likes their secrets being exposed, especially those who live in masks. Once exposed, it will only lead to anger.

It's not shameful to pretend.

In many cases, there is really no need to expose other people's disguise and scratch their faces. In the adult world, who can not have a few masks, and live a life that is hard enough, why should they poke each other's sore spots?

The adult world is always fragile, and it is the basic etiquette and consensus to always reserve decency for both parties. A lot of things, once they are exposed, will cause more problems. It is better to leave some dignity for others and some freedom for yourself.

They see non-disclosure as a kind of goodwill.

British scientists regard lying as a sign of child development. When we start to grow up, lies always follow us. After all, everyone has hidden secrets, their own desires, desires and unspeakable needs, so sometimes it is kindness not to expose them.

Learning to pretend you don't know something is a very important lesson in life. Because as long as no one knows, there is no maliciousness. It is not that the parties do not know the existence of malice, and the reason why they did not say so clearly is that they may just want to cover up the past with dignity. We cannot understand and feel the whole of a person and the hardships he has endured. Once we intervene rashly, it will only become unprovoked interference with unclear boundaries.

Chekhov once said that being educated is not about not eating soup, but not looking at others when they are pouring soup.

When we have lived through life long enough, we gradually understand that life is like this, full of pain and helplessness. Don't try to debunk most of the lies. After all, when the truth is told, most of the facts may make us more uncomfortable than the lies, and more often the lies are more fascinating than the truth. If you can't, at least learn to pretend to be confused. When we were young, we pretended to be confused, but when we grew up, we pretended to be confused.

They also consider it a love affair not to expose.

We have to admit that life can be deceptive, some big and sometimes small. And most of the time, we realize that life is lying to others to say that I am good, but it is just a different form of saying "love".

Grandpa suffered from bone cancer. He spent most of the year in bed before his death. When I was young, I often heard his moans and asked him, "Grandpa, are you in pain?" He said to me, "It doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt." After a while, he asked, "Did I disturb you?" I ran away in embarrassment. After that, I rarely heard my grandfather's groaning at home, and it was only after I studied medicine that I realized how tormenting the human body the pain of bone cancer. Because of love, can endure great pain, because of love, so lie. I have always regretted my actions at that time. If I could do it again, I would definitely hold Grandpa's hand tightly and stay by his side.

I bought a pair of leather shoes for my father for the first month's salary, but they were too small (my mother told me later), but my father who tried on the shoes kept saying they were good and fit. Later, I found out that he rarely wears it, and asked the reason why he was reluctant to wear the shoes because his daughter bought them. Whenever I see that pair of well-maintained leather shoes, I have the urge to cry in my heart.

In this cold world of hateful words, what keeps you alive and maintain your body temperature is sometimes countless lies, big and small, hugs from others after failures and disappointments, ill-fitting leather shoes, and a stubborn father. The letters the women left to each other, those words that were not exposed, became the proven love and tolerance of forbearance.

Sometimes the reason why we are so proficient in lying to the people we love is not for perfunctory and coping, and we have long understood that the ultimate purpose of life is not to obtain the truth, but the ultimate purpose of life is to obtain happiness.