ENFJ's Sometimes Struggle with Depression

1. They tend to be chronic people pleasers.

Ask anyone who is an ENFJ personality type and they will admit that they are naturally prone to being people pleasers. It is difficult because ENFJ's have extroverted feeling as their primary cognitive function, therefore they are already very focused on other people's emotional states. ENFJ's desire that those around them are cared for and happy. They want their friends, family members, and co-workers to be as happy has humanly possible. However, it is most certainly not realistic for everyone to always be happy and blowing rainbows at one another, right? ENFJ's will eventually learn that they cannot please everyone, however if they are found to be stuck in the mental mess of pleasing people, then it will lead to them becoming depressed and overwhelmed mentally. In order for ENFJ's to maintain mental stability, they should strive to focus on their own self-care instead of worrying about everyone else's quite as much.

2. They sometimes focus too much on perfectionism and idealism.

ENFJ's want things to be perfect and hold themselves and others to very high standards. I think ENFJ's especially struggle the most when it comes to their grades in school and then later their perfectionism may come into play in their career or profession. They are know for over scheduling themselves and they are often very image sensitive, though they may hate to admit this. They are very concerned about what other people think of them and sometimes they may read too much into other peoples facial expressions. Often times they are correct about what others are thinking, but sometimes they are not and it is important for ENFJ's to not place too much weight in what others may be thinking about them. It is important for ENFJ's to not worry so much about what others think, because if they do, then it could lead to them feeling depressed because they think they don't measure up to the standards or expectations of others.

3. They commonly feel like they don't fit in with society.

ENFJ's are complicated. While they are excellent at acting like they fit in with others, they usually feel alone. They have this extremely strong urge to connect on deeper levels with others. They always seem to have deep, soul-searching kinds of questions on the tips of their tongues. Other personality types may be a little intimidated by some of the questions that ENFJ's think to ask. I think part of the reason that ENFJ's feel alone is because the world as a whole is pretty shallow and materialistic and neither of these things appeal to this specific personality type. ENFJ's see through materialism and they want more, whereas many other personality types may be content with the newest iPhone or piece of technology. When ENFJ's see people going gaga over the latest gadget, it is an immediate turnoff and they withdrawal and may become depressed and disappointed by society's lack of dept.

4. They will rarely actually ask for help.

ENFJ's are extremely generous people. I love giving gifts, their time, and encouragement to other people. However, they sometimes are so caught up in thinking of what they can give to other people, that they fail to realize that they are actually the ones in need themselves! If they realize that they are in need of some extra emotional support, then they rarely will directly ask their loved ones for it. Instead, they will try to deny or suppress their own needs. It is quite a paradox and by ENFJ's denying their own needs, they end up feeling depressed and burnout if they are not careful.

Though I am sure there are other reasons that ENFJ's may struggle with depression, these four reasons I believe are the main ones. If you are an ENFJ personality type or your know a loved one who is, please think of ways to find support for yourself or them, because depression is no joke and it takes its toll in the long run.