Don’t devalue your present by neglecting your past and not investing in the future

Now matter how strong your mental strength is right now, life is tough. You don’t know if you’re coming or going, you don’t know what you can and can’t do and you don’t know how you’re going to be cope much longer.

I am in no way an expert but I want to try and help if I can in the way that I know how – to share my thoughts and feelings.

Mental health and Mental Illness.

There is a difference between the two.

Everyone has mental health, just like we have physical health. We are more able and willing to help resolve an issue with our physical health but less so when it comes to mental health. Our brain, and body in fact, is full of chemical reactions. Just like how your reaction to someone saying ‘I love you’ would bring a smile to your face or when your favourite football team scores a goal you would jump up and cheer (so I’ve heard…) your natural instinct creates physical movement but it also creates a chemical reaction in your brain and / or body which might be a happy feeling or anxious feeling. We are all wired differently and so each person reacts to something physically, emotionally and chemically different to the next person. Life experiences and knowledge can help sculpt or strain these reactions but they are natural.

Feelings of Stress, Depression and Anxiety are natural. Have you got a tight deadline at work that you’re thinking ‘how the hell can I do all of this in this time!?’ Stress. You ever lost a loved one and you’re unable to leave your bed or stop crying? Depression. Have you ever been asked to stand up in front of hundreds of people to give a speech? Anxiety, even if you’re okay with public speaking. It’s natural. We can’t help it. There are a lot of mental illnesses that you can have or suffer from, not just the 3 mentioned and of course, please, if you are suffering with any detrimental symptoms, I would urge you to speak a medical professional. You know your own body and mind and if it is affecting you, I would seek help and guidance.

Right now, I would say probably more than 50%, if not more, are suffering with their mental health but it doesn’t always mean you have a mental illness. If you focus on being aware and conscious of your mental health and look to nurture your mental strength with things that you can control, you can help yourself get through the day and through the rest of lockdown. Here’s what I would do:

Love yourself

Easier said than done though right? Right. However, I would say that it’s also easier than you think to get you on the road to love yourself. Do the little things that make you happy. Whether that’s complimenting someone, or doing your good deed of the day and helping the old woman cross the road (although that is hopefully someone that isn’t required right now with COVID-19 rules) it could be being phone free for an hour in the evening, taking 30 mins to run a bath and put a podcast on or watching your favourite show that never gets old. You might take a walk or visit your friend from a save 2m distance, or you might pour yourself a glass wine or cook or clean or exercise or game or have sex. These are acts of self-care and self-love, as long as it is what you WANT to do. Doing these things allows you to have control over something but also, doing what you want is a huge flex and a great way to relieve symptoms of poor mental health.

Be mindful

Mindfulness is an form of meditation but I’m talking about being mindful on a daily basis. Your actions as discussed above are important but so are your thoughts and how they are interrupted when they come out of your mouth. Negative words really impact you and your perception. If you constantly say ‘urgh, I hate my mother, she’s always moaning and never asks how I am’ you are creating a negative picture of her, even though you might have that unconditional love, you can’t see it or feel it in that moment and that’s not good. If you don’t love something though and you say you do, for example saying ‘no worries at all, I would love to help out’ to your boss about something that you loath and don’t want to do is really going to affect you and how you complete the task and as my mother always said

Honesty is the best policy

That relates to both being honest with other people but also yourself. You do truly hate your mother and the reason for that is that she is always and never asks how you are – change the narrative. Tell her to stop moaning or offer up a solution to what she is moaning and then tell her how are you – why does she have to ask you how you are? Tell her how you are and get your voice heard. Honesty goes a long way and when it comes to your mental health, you’ve got to be honest with yourself.

Feeling it

Now, I’m all for a positive mindset but a constant PMA is, in my opinion, not good for you. You can’t always be happy. You are going to have times where you are going to sad or angry or depression or anxious or giddy or overwhelmed, you’ve just gotta ride that feeling out. Don’t try and switch the feelings up, yes feeling sad is pretty shit but you can’t just change up the chemical reactions in your head and slip them to a ‘better’ feeling, that isn’t going to do anything for you. Taking steps towards not feeling what you are feeling is healthy but it’s not going to be change just like that – get out that surf board and ride that wave hunny and once the wave has reached the shore, you can take your steps then to move forward

You do you

This is often said as a way of dissing someone but you know what, it’s sound advice. It’s true that no one else can do what you do as, like I’ve said, all of us are wired different so it’s probably impossible to be someone other than you but I know of people that have tried but doing you it’s the best thing you can do for your mental strength. For some reason, we all put pressure on ourselves to be a certain way, to do a certain thing or be the best version of yourself at all times. Now, I say ‘for some reason’ but we all know this comes from social media and media in general actually, from our parents and their believes and religions, from our own need to success and all the other individual reasons we have but that pressure can be dangerous.

Some pressure is good to help you propel yourself forward, either away from something or towards something but remember, no one is putting that pressure on you. Even if you think they are, the pressure comes from you, you can control that pressure and if you need to dial that pressure down, do it.

When it comes to mental health, there is a fine line between being on top of it or drowning in it so listen to yourself and do what you can. Don’t think big, take small steps, do what you want, do what you need, think of yourself first.

I’m not endorsed to write this; I’m also no expert and I have no scientific proof that my guidance works so please don’t take it as gospel but these tips have helped me in the past and I still practice them when I’m feeling my mental strength dwindling.

Remember, it’s okay not to be okay, it truly is, it’s how you manage that feeling that is key. Every feeling / chemical reaction is temporary, nothing is ever truly forever

Much love