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Don't be controlled by emotions

Learn to accept and express your "negative emotions"

By Seamons MahallPublished about a year ago 5 min read
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Qingqing asks:

I am an elementary school teacher, and we have recently started to work at school because this phase has added a lot of epidemic preparedness tasks in addition to the normal work, so it is much more tedious than before. The students have had such a long holiday, they are used to being idle at home and have become difficult to discipline. Just a few days ago, my head got big and I came home physically tired and mentally exhausted after a day's work and felt that I was going to be unable to support myself. Asked other colleagues, we have the same feeling, and said it is because the pressure is too much, what can we all do to reduce the pressure?

Qilu Evening News Psychological Expert Panel Cong Yuan (Professor of Psychology, Shandong Medical College):

Hello Qingqing, with the end of the epidemic, we gradually resume our usual busy schedule. Right now, we do need to consider the prevention of the epidemic, which will add a lot of extra workloads, and because of this, the heavy workload makes you and your colleagues feel stressed and triggers your negative emotions.

First of all, let's analyze the reason for the emergence of negative emotions: breaking the inertia, and breaking the habitual stereotypes. During the epidemic, people were passively enclosed at home, temporarily gave up their jobs, and lived a relatively empowered life, which was somewhat overwhelming at first, but over time they got used to it and formed a power stereotype.

The power stereotype is a reaction stereotype system formed by the stereotyped system of the cerebral cortex to the stimulus. The stimuli form a fixed order and the responses form a fixed order. Power stereotypes are the physiological basis of human habits, commonly known as a long period of unchanging life patterns, which will make people from the physical to mental adapt to this fixed habit. Once you change your habits and break the power stereotype, it will cause negative emotions and make people feel strongly unhappy.

People from busy to idle, breaking the power stereotype good to adapt, but from idle to busy, breaking the power stereotype to adapt to the relatively difficult, do not adapt to the negative emotions that will appear.

People in the work, life is relatively too much pressure, encounter stressful events, emotional instability, and internal depression, the emotional serious phenomenon is very normal, the key is how we treat and deal with these negative emotions.

It is not right to try to control, stop or suppress or eliminate negative emotions. First of all, we should learn to accept and experience negative emotions, coexist with them, and allow them to appear and exist. Because if you do not accept it, you will aggravate anxiety, and if you do not accept it, you will be angry with others, for example: if you do not accept your bad temper, you will blame your children for being too disobedient; if you do not accept your bad people skills, you will blame others for making things difficult for you; if you do not accept your laziness, you will blame the leaders for giving too much work ...... In short, if you do not accept your imperfections, you will be harsh on others, and you will not live an easy life. Live will not be easy.

Second, to objectively find the source of negative emotions, and not be controlled by negative emotions. For example, instead of saying, "Why is this a problem?" when a problem arises, ask yourself, "Why does this problem trigger this emotion in me?" We need to look for the specific problem that triggers our negative emotions and then solve it, rather than dwell on it.

If you are reprimanded by your leader for not completing a task, look for the frustration that is caused by not completing the task, or the anger that is caused by the criticism, rather than dwelling on the "why am I so unlucky" emotion. Once you find the real objective reason, it will be much easier to solve.

Again, learn to express your emotions. Good emotions should be shared with others, and bad emotions should be shared with others, which helps us to increase our sensitivity to emotions and deepen our self-awareness and grasp. Expressing negative emotions is especially important, as it not only helps us to relieve the tension of the moment but also prevents a backlog of bad emotions.

However, when expressing negative emotions, it is important to pay attention to one principle: to talk about the matter, not to the person. For example, to say "so-and-so did this thing to make me feel a little angry", rather than "this so-and-so how to do so, really not something. To say "not rated on the advanced, my heart is still a little uncomfortable", rather than saying "selection so unfair, why not evaluate me? Too bullying". You should say, "I feel unhappy because of the busy schedule after the school year" instead of "I'm under too much pressure, why so many things".

Furthermore, awaken your sense of pleasure and happiness! Pleasure means that you are fully immersed in joy, without thinking about anything else. For example, sincerely and without hypocrisy, share your real experience with your trusted family and friends (how things went and how you handled it and your emotions); a sense of well-being is the satisfaction of being fully engaged! For example, sweating and exhaustion after playing soccer; playing to your heart's content in a chorus; shouting to your heart's content in a group activity, and forgetting about your surroundings (but avoid negative such feelings, i.e., the soundness of mere physical pleasure and indulgence, such as drug use and promiscuity, etc.)!

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Seamons Mahall

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