DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THE UNITED STATES

Domestic violence and abuse in the United States has affected people throughout its history and is a factor in many families’ lives today, affecting the victims both physically and psychologically. The victims and perpetrators of domestic violence can be male or female, heterosexual or homosexual, young or old. Though, the majority of cases are still the male as the perpetrator and the female as the victim. This type of violence can be found in different religious, racial, and ethnic groups and different socioeconomic and class backgrounds. The victims and perpetrators of domestic violence can be your mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, best friend or even you, it does not discriminate. It is a storm that destroys lives and tears apart relationships and families within.

Victims of domestic violence suffer from physical, psychological, emotional, sexual, and spiritual maltreatment from their abuser repeatedly overtime. This abuse can last for years, ultimately creating a cycle of building conflict, abuse, and then forgiveness. A victim may or may not seek help to get out of the abusive relationship, sometimes only leaving when their lives are at risk or they die at the hands of their abuser. The perpetrator or victim may have witnessed domestic violence as a child in their own family, viewing it as just a natural part of a relationship or family unit. This generational pattern reinforces the cycle of domestic violence. A victim may also not want to leave the abusive partner because they do not want to hurt them, believing it is their fault that the abuse happened. The perpetrator of domestic violence usually has the feeling of powerlessness and abuses their partner to gain power. The perpetrator may have suffered from some form of childhood abuse or have a mental illness or personality disorder including schizophrenia and depression. The perpetrators of domestic violence can also have an alcohol and drug problems that increases the severity of the abuse. No matter the causes of domestic violence, the goal must be to find the solution to stop the abuse and to save its victims.

History of Women and Children United States

The position and status of women and children in American society has come from long-established gender roles and sex stereotypes, conventional concepts on parenting and its responsibilities, traditional religious beliefs, and old English common law. From 1800 to 1850 in America a woman’s identity and independence in society was completely determined by her sex and marital status. Timothy Crumrin, (Conner Prairie Historian) states: “In the legal realm women were decidedly dependent, subservient, and unequal. National and state constitutions included little mention of women… Rights for which a revolution was fomented were denied women– as they were to slaves, “lunatics,” and “idiots” (HISTORY OF WOMAN SUFFRAGE: PREFACE AND CHAPTER XXVII (1876-1885). Women that married lost many of their fundamental and basic civil and property rights, which were granted to their husbands. This transference of rights circumscribed almost all parts of a woman’s interaction with the society around them and their rudimentary choices, segregating them to the background. This also made them completely dependent on their husband for financial support and legal rights. A woman that married was seen as going through a type of “civil death” becoming almost invisible to the outside world. The children of the matrimonial relationship were seen as the property of the marriage, this ownership went to the husband and father. Grossberg (2008) States: “Children were part of a patriarchal system in which the household was to replicate the larger polity. Thus the father, like the king, served as head of the family while the wife and children were classified as subordinates” (Law, Children and the - Early America, After the Revolution.., http://www.faqs.org/childhood/Ke-Me/Law-Children-and-the.html.) A child and parent contract of early America was that the child exchanged labor for parental care. Any financial gain from this labor belonged to the household, primarily the father.

Religiously and legally, women were to be subordinate and submissive to their husbands at all times. A married woman had little control of their lives or even their own bodies. A woman could be legally beat by her husband if he believed that she deserved to be disciplined. Bradley (2007) states: “Early settlers in America based their laws on old English common-law, which explicitly permitted wife-beating for correctional purposes. The husband was allowed to whip his wife only with a switch no bigger than his thumb” (The Beginning of Domestic Violence – Domestic Violence Prevention Month: Part one of four). This punishment could originate from not satisfying her responsibilities as a wife and mother or for doing something considered to be inappropriate or offensive to her husband or to her sex. A wife was seen as a child, having the same immaturity as her offspring, who needed to be taught to follow the rules of her sex. The punishment of a child was also considered a religious and legal duty; “spare the rod spoil the child” was the main theme on raising children. To control and punish one’s child was considered the proper way to parent. The duty of this fell on the father, who could use his own discretion on what infractions and actions deserved punishment and what the punishment would entail. A married woman did not have any legal rights to control her own body, which was considered by religious doctrine and under the laws of marriage to be her husband’s property. A woman had no legal right to prevent the number of children that the marriage produced and little legal rights over her off spring after they were born. A woman was not permitted to deny her husband sex for any reason, not even illness or even after childbirth. Marital rape was common and was not against any laws at the time. Johnston Polisi (2009) States: “The so-called "marital rape exemption” has been embedded in the sexual assault laws of our country since its founding. In its most drastic form, the exemption means that a husband, by definition, cannot legally rape his wife. The theory goes that by accepting the marital contract, a woman has tacitly consented to sexual intercourse any time her husband demands it” (Spousal Rape Laws Continue to Evolve, http://womensenews.org/story/rape/090701/spousal-rape-laws-continue-evolve.) A divorce was almost unheard of and if it was permitted it had many negative results for the woman. A woman, even if she was being abused, could not leave the relationship without losing financial stability, custody of her children, and her social standing.

History of Domestic Violence and Abuse in the United States

Turvey and Petherick (2011) states: “…domestic violence in its many incarnations is perhaps one of the greatest threats to public health in the United States. It can bruise, crush, and ultimately destroy the physical, mental, and economical well-being of any of its victims. It creates unsafe homes, unsafe communities, and unsafe work environments” (Forensic Victimology. Academic Press. Amsterdam: Elsevier.) This position on the effects and dangers of domestic violence and abuse has not always been the opinion of society and the criminal justice system. Historically, domestic violence, also identified as spousal abuse, in the United States has been considered a private family matter that belongs behind the fortifications of a person’s residence. The viewpoint was that society and the law did not have the right to interfere with a husband and wife or how they treated each other or their children. This viewpoint was reinforced by cultural and religious factors, conventional ideas on parenting, and traditional gender roles that supported that the husband was the head of the family and the wife and children were his to control and punish if required. These factors supported the societal acceptance of the right of a husband to abuse his wife and children without the fear of legal repercussions or societal opposition. These cultural and religious attitudes helped create an atmosphere where domestic violence and abuse was not recognized as a crime and many of the laws either supported it and/or permitted it.

The civil rights movements of the 1960s and the women rights movements of the 1970s helped shed light on the importance of human rights and the need for women to be treated with equality and with respect, especially in their own homes. Haley and Braun-Haley (2000) states: “By the mid-1970s, American women had banded together to fight for equality with men. There were two reasons for this. The first, and most obvious, was that their society was male-dominated and woman, for reasons already discussed, were second-or third-class citizens…The second reason was that for the first time in recorded history, women could stand up against the men. Their increased levels of education and experience in the workforce demonstrated to themselves and to men that they could survive in the world as independent individuals rather than mere appendages to their husbands” (War on the Homefront: An Examination of Wife Abuse. Oxford, NY: Berghahn Books.) These human rights movements helped start a change on the societal and legal positions of women in the United States. They also helped changed the mindset of the country on equality of the wife in a marriage. Domestic violence and abuse was no longer seen for the most part, as a private matter between a husband and wife. This viewpoint looked at the effect on the victims and how to stop the abuse. Gradually changing laws and creating laws that protect the victims and punished the perpetrators of domestic violence and abuse.

The changing attitudes towards domestic violence and abuse and the laws that followed expanded the study and understanding of how violence at home affects all members of the family unit and can even affect other family and friends outside the home. These new viewpoints also started to recognize domestic violence and abuse in other types of sexual and nonsexual relationships, not just in the traditional husband and wife family unit. Domestic violence and abuse can be seen in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships, married and non-married couples, and between family members. Nelson (1997) states:“Domestic violence can happen to anyone at any time. Domestic violence does not respect age, gender, or sexual preference. Parents have hit their children, children have beaten up their parents, wives have knifed husbands, husbands have battered wives, brothers have hacked away at sisters, and sisters have thrown countless objects at brothers. Cousins, uncles, aunts, live-in mates, girlfriends, boyfriends—all have been party to or victims of domestic violence” (Dangerous Relationships: How to Identify and Respond to the Seven Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Publishing.)Whatever its form Domestic violence and abuse has various physical, psychological, and emotional effects on its victims and changes lives forever.

Forms and Cycles of Domestic Violence and Abuse

Fairweather (2012) states: “One of the most common and dangerous misconceptions about intimate partner abuse is that {victims} are not true victims of abuse unless they are physically assaulted to the point of being bruised, bloody or broken. Unfortunately, this perception is so rooted in our culture that victims themselves believe this as well” (Stop Signs: Recognizing, Avoiding, and Escaping Abusive Relationships. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press.) Domestic violence and abuse can be in the form of physical, psychological, sexual, verbal, economic, and spiritual. A perpetrator of domestic violence and abuse may choose one method of abuse to control, torment and/or harm their victim or they can utilize a combination of these maltreatment and cruelties. The system of violence and abuse the perpetrator uses may also change overtime, where once the abuse was verbal and economic, it may grow into physical and sexual violence.

Physical Abuse:

Physical domestic abuse is the most recognized form of domestic violence because it leaves physical signs and scars that can be examined and photographed as evidence by the criminal justice system and society can see the black eyes of its victims. The perpetrator employs physical assault and uses intimidation and threats of future attacks to control their victim. The physical violence can start out as just simple pushing, slapping, and shaking and escalate to life threatening assaults of strangulation and suffocation, severe beatings, and denying the victim medical treatment and/or medications. Haley and Braun-Haley (2000) states: “The use of weapons occurs with regularity as well. The abuser may begin by using these weapons, showing them to the {victim}, or simply letting{him/her} know {he/she} has one. This is an attempt to intimidate by directly or indirectly threatening the {victim} into submission” (War on the Homefront: An Examination of Wife Abuse. Oxford, NY: Berghahn Books.) In these attacks a victim may be injured by the perpetrator with a gun, knife, or even a baseball bat. The final form of physical abuse is when the perpetrator kills their victim, either by taking the physical violence too far or intentionally killing them.

Psychological and Emotional Abuse:

Psychological and emotional domestic abuse is the most overlooked and at times ignored form of domestic violence because it leaves no physical wounds or scars that can be comprehended by the human eye. Psychological and emotional abuse can take the form of both verbal abuse and nonverbal abuse. Fairweather (2012) states: “Although this type of victimization often employs verbal abuse. It’s also in a category of its own because an abuser never has to say a word to intimidate, control, or punish {his/hers} victim” (Stop Signs: Recognizing, Avoiding, and Escaping Abusive Relationships. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press.) The abusive partner uses humiliating and degrading language towards the victim to embarrass and to devastate them. This behavior can happen in front of family, friends, or total strangers or may be done in private. The abuser may also use worded and gestured threats towards the victim to scare and control them. An abusive partner takes the victim’s privacy away to remind them that they have no control over their own lives. A victim’s possessions might be searched through because the abuser believes the victim is hiding something from them and wants them to be reminded of the fact they are in control. Sentimental possessions belonging to the victim may be destroyed by the abuser out of jealously, revenge, or amusement. The abusive partner uses isolation to increase their control over the victim. The abuser may try to isolate the victim from family and friends, separating them from their support system. They may also try to destroy the victim’s business and/or career relationships and connections, hurting them financially and destroying their career. Stalking is another form of psychological domestic abuse. Fairweather (2012) states: “A common misconception about “stalking” is that it only happens to celebrities, or it’s a random act perpetrated by a masked stranger hiding in the bushes. In truth, stalking is much more common than most people believe; it’s almost always perpetrated by somebody who knows you {and frequently} by a current or former partner” (Stop Signs: Recognizing, Avoiding, and Escaping Abusive Relationships. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press.) The motivation behind stalking in domestic abuse is to control the victim and to make them feel a lack of privacy. Stalking in domestic cases can be either internal, happening during the relationship or external, happening after separation. Psychological and emotional abuse also comes in the form of psychological games. The abuser may try to make the abuse seem justified or minimize it or even deny that the abuse ever happened. The abuser may also blame the victim for the abuse, making them believe that they themselves caused it and deserve it. The abuser may also make the victim question their sanity, making the abuse look like it is all in their own mind.

Sexual Abuse:

Sexual domestic abuse is another form of physical domestic violence, though it has its own category. The perpetrator uses the act of sex to both physically harm and psychological control their victim. The physical brutality of sexual domestic violence includes sexual assault and rape, sexual torture, exposing victims to various sexually transmitted diseases, and forced unwanted pregnancies. The psychological control of sexual domestic violence can be from threatening family members (especially children), controlling the victim financially, threatening the victim with infidelity, and the sexual humiliation and degradation of the victim in front of others or in private. Fairweather (2012) states: “Being abused sexually by a current or former partner is a highly under-reported crime that encompasses a wide variety of offenses. Often it is linked to physical abuse; they may occur together, or the sexual abuse may be backed up by the threat of bodily injury” (Stop Signs: Recognizing, Avoiding, and Escaping Abusive Relationships. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press.)

Verbal Abuse:

Verbal domestic abuse is both connected to psychological domestic abuse and can be a precursor to physical domestic violence. Fairweather (2012) states: “While it is one of the most common forms of abuse, it is also the most difficult to recognize because many people grow up thinking “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me” Unfortunately, they do hurt” (Stop Signs: Recognizing, Avoiding, and Escaping Abusive Relationships. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press.) The verbal abuse can be sexist, racist, and homophobic. It can be derogatory towards the victim’s ethnic and family background or religious affiliation. The verbal abuse may be meant to be hurtful, degrading, or humiliating to the victim. The victim’s appearance, accomplishments, and goals may be criticized, ridiculed or mocked to belittle them in front of others. The abusive partner might verbally threaten the victim, the victim’s family (especially their children), friends, and animals to control them non-physically.

Economic Abuse:

Economic domestic abuse is when the abusive partner controls the victim’s finances to punish them or to have complete control over them or both. Fairweather (2012) states: “This is a classic method of batterers, particularly those who either believe that women should not have access to money or those who practice a parasitic “use and abuse” lifestyle” (Stop Signs: Recognizing, Avoiding, and Escaping Abusive Relationships. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press.) Economic abuse can take on various forms of financial controls and tactics. The abuser may not allow the victim to hold a job or go to school. If the victim does work, the abuser may completely deny the victim any control of their own money, forcing them to give everything they earn to them. The abuser may create debt in the victim’s name and also steal from their finances. The abuser may also deny them accesses to any of the family’s finances, including bank and savings accounts and credit cards or put extremely rigid restricts on the victim, while the abuser spends freely and makes all the decisions. The victim may be refused basic necessities including food, medical needs, and shelter. The abuser my also refuse to pay child support or spousal support after a separation or divorce. Economic abuse can become sexual abuse, if the abusive partner sexually exploits the victim for profits, forcing them into prostitution, stripping, and pornography.

Spiritual Abuse:

Spiritual domestic abuse is when the abuser uses religion to control, isolate, and punish the victim. In some heterosexual relationships the abuser may use long held conservative religious viewpoints on sex roles and the belief that a woman must summit to a man. These beliefs may be supported by the couple’s clergy or fellow parishioners, helping excuse and even promote the abuse. The abuser may believe that any form of physical and psychological abuse is permitted by both his religion and his place of worship. The abuser may also force the victim into raising the children from the relationship in their religion instead of the victim’s. The abuser may use physical and psychological threats and violence, to force the victim into allowing the abuser’s religious faith to be the family’s only faith. The abuser may also prevent the victim from having any connection to their religious faith, through physical and psychological violence. Fairweather (2012) states: “By making it dangerous for{their} victim to pray, worship with others, or do what {he/she} feels is necessary to fulfill {his/her}religious obligations, the abuser is taking away a powerful emotional reinforcement. In effect, it is a method of “soul destruction”. The abuser is dismantling a victim’s internal and external supports so that {he/she} will become more dependent on {him/her} and less able to consider ending the relationship. Most of all, {he/she} will have no one to tell about {the abusive partner’s} increasingly abusive behaviors and no one to help {him/her} with escape” (Stop Signs: Recognizing, Avoiding, and Escaping Abusive Relationships. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press.)

The Cycle of Domestic Violence:

All forms of domestic violence and abuse have a distinctive cycle; these patterns develop over time with the interaction of the victim and abusive partner. There are four basic stages of the cycle of abuse. Haley and Braun-Haley (2000) describe these four stages:

“1. The Build-up: Stressors such as employment or money troubles trigger this stage in which negative thought processes (blaming and anger) become dominant. {During this stage the abusive partner’s anger increases towards their victim and the abuse intensifies.}

2. The Acting Out: At a certain point, the abuser lashes out, usually with physical abuse. The behavior can range from a single slap to inflicting serious injury with a weapon. {The abusive partner outburst may happen once with a single physical and psychological attack or come in a series of attacks.}

3. The Rationalization/Justification: Both individuals {victim and abuser} use defense mechanisms to justify or rationalize that assaultive behavior. {The victim may blame themselves or tell themselves that the abuse is just a normal part of life. The abuser may deflect any blame off on to the victim.}

4. Pretending Normal (also called the Honeymoon Stage): With the justification firmly in place, {the victim and abuser} portrays the relationship as “normal.” {The abuser usually apologizes for the abuse and makes promises that it will never happen again. The victim usually except the apologies and believes the promises and forgives the abuser.}…without adjustments or attempts to break the cycle, the Build-up phase begins again” (War on the Homefront: An Examination of Wife Abuse. Oxford, NY: Berghahn Books.)

Signs, Effects, and Causes of Domestic Violence

No matter what type the domestic violence and abuse, whether it is family violence, spousal abuse, battery, or intimate partner violence. Or what form the violence and abuse includes, physical, psychological, sexual, verbal, economic, and spiritual there will be signs and side effects. There are short-term and long-term effects from domestic violence and abuse. Some of these side effects can be seen by the human eye and some of these side effects cannot.

The signs and effects of physical violence can be seen, unless hidden by the victim. Victims may suffer from physical injuries ranging from superficial cuts, abrasions, and bruises that will heal in a few days or weeks. The victim may suffer from life threatening conditions from the perpetrator’s assaults including severe brain injury, internal organ damage, or wounds from various weapons used in the attacks. And some victims will die at the hands of their abusers. Brody (2011) states: “The truth is, four women are killed every single day in the United States by someone they’re involved with” (Relationship Violence: The Secret That Kills 4 Women a Day), http://www.huffingtonpost.com/liz-brody/relationship-violence-the_b_857886.html.) The signs and effects of psychological trauma sometimes are missed or ignored all together, especially if there are no physical signs of abuse. The victim might not want to acknowledge what has happened to them, using denial as a coping mechanism. The victim may suffer from short and long term psychological effects from the abuse and its assaults, threats, and isolation that can range from nightmares and night terrors, panic attacks, and post-traumatic stress disorder. A victim may use drugs and alcohol to deal with the psychological pain and stress. The victim may suffer from social isolation that may affect all their relationships. This may alter their work and school performance, affecting them financially and academically.

The primary victim of domestic violence and abuse are not the only victims of this criminal act. Those that only witness the violence and abuse or know it is occurring are affected. And even total strangers are affected by this crime. The children of domestic violence and abuse may repeat the pattern, either becoming the victim or abuser. Frieze and Browne (1989) states: “Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next” (Violence in Marriage. In L.E. Ohlin & M. H. Tonry, Family Violence. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press. Break the Cycle 2006.) Family, friends, neighbors, or co-workers may want to help but may not know what to do. The victim may push them away, either from fear or believing that it is a private matter. The abuser may threaten and harm the victim for talking about the abuse or those that are trying to help the victim. Law enforcement officers and medical professionals are affected by domestic violence, even if they are complete strangers to the victim, these effects can be psychological and emotional, and in some cases physical when the abuser attacks them for helping the victim. Employers of the victims and tax payers that have never meant the victims also are affected by the loss of productivity and the resources needed to pay for its side effects. These resources include legal, medical, and psychological. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence states: “The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health services. Victims of intimate partner violence lost almost 8 million days of paid work because of the violence perpetrated against them by current or former husbands, boyfriends and dates. This loss is the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs and almost 5.6 million days of household productivity as a result of violence. There are 16,800 homicides and $2.2 million (medically treated) injuries due to intimate partner violence annually, which costs $37 billion” (https://ncadv.org Domestic Violence Fact Sheet (National.)

The causes of domestic violence and abuse vary from one case to the other. The abuser may have jealously or anger issues. The abuser may be suffering from a mental illness and/or personality disorder. The abuser may suffer from low self-esteem and needs to gain power by controlling their victims. Drugs and alcohol may play a role in the abuse by creating an environment that promotes instability. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence states: “The U.S. Department of Justice found that 61% of domestic violence offenders also have substance abuse problems. In 2002, the Department of Justice found that 36% of victims in domestic violence programs also had substance abuse problems” (https://ncadv.org Substance Abuse.) The abuser or their victim may have come from a background of domestic violence, having witnessed their parents or caregivers abuse, repeating the tradition.

Solutions to Domestic Violence and Abuse

The solutions to domestic violence and abuse fall into two distinctive categories. Haley and Braun-Haley (2000) states: “(1) Prevention, or preventative measures—solutions aimed at preventing {domestic violence and abuse} from ever happening, and (2) termination, or protective measures—solutions designed to put an end to abusive situations that already exist” (War on the Homefront: An Examination of Wife Abuse. Oxford, NY: Berghahn Books.) Better resources for the criminal justice system, mental health agencies, substance abuse programs, anti-poverty agencies, and more education and research on the causes of domestic violence and abuse are the major factors on preventing and stopping it.

The solutions to domestic violence and abuse can be as diverse as the families and individuals that it affects. These various resources provide the victim, the abuser, and their families with the needed treatment (both physical and psychological), financial help, and legal support that may break the cycle of abuse and violence. The perpetrator of the abuse and violence can be suffering from an untreated mental illness or personality disorder. The proper treatment of therapy and/or medications that the abuser needs may help stop the abusive behavior. Both the perpetrator and the victim may have substance abuse issues that need to be addressed. Better policies in the criminal justice system could promote more therapeutic solutions, instead of just sentences, then release, and relapse. Because if the victim and the perpetrator remain together without help or separation, the abusive cycle of substance abuse and domestic violence will continue. Programs that help with stress and anger problems can also help individuals that feel that they are overwhelmed. Family counseling and other psychological therapies can give the emotional help both the victim and abuser need. Cultural and religious biases on sex roles and sexual orientation must also be changed. Sex biases create an environment where women are not equal to men, allowing for the excuse that violence and abuse is their punishment for being born female. Sexual orientation biases create an environment where those that are in a homosexual relationship and are victims of abuse and violence may not seek help. Helping individuals and families out of poverty can relieve the threat of domestic violence and abuse in some case. Whatever its causes domestic violence and abuse must be addressed and not ignored.

Conclusion

Domestic violence and abuse has been part of the American culture from its beginning. Anyone can become a victim of this violence and abuse, though women are the majority of its victims. Violence and abuse in a family unit was once considered normal because of cultural, legal, and religious traditions and rules. Today, domestic violence and abuse is viewed as both a physical and psychological danger to the victims and the perpetrators. It destroys the lives of those that experience it, those that witness it, and those that perpetrate it, creating a cycle of abuse and violence in relationships that can be passed on to the next generations. Better resources and education are needed to combat the problem of domestic violence and abuse. Longstanding cultural and religious views on the nature of violence, sex roles and sexuality, must also be reexamined.