Domestic Violence

Payton watched silently as her mother painfully leaned her skinny, frail body against the kitchen bench. She was still wearing the clothes from yesterday morning, and probably the day before. Payton couldn’t be sure when she had bathed or even changed her clothes last. She lit up a cigarette and took a deep puff, directing the second-hand smoke into the open fly-screened window, which hardly helped. Payton wasn’t supposed to be out of bed, they are never allowed out this early. But she hadn’t slept at all that night. How could she? She leant against the door frame ever so gently, not taking her eyes of her mother. She felt almost nothing, as if she were so immune to this wretched household that she had become almost numb to her senses. She had never noticed it before – maybe it was true, or maybe this was how all 14-year-olds are supposed to feel. She might never know.

Payton wondered whether she would ever escape. But she wasn’t entirely sure on the outside world either, maybe everyone lived like this. Maybe all teenagers only eat every two days, and went weeks without bathing, slept on a mattress on the floor, and weren’t allowed outside. Maybe there were no other teenagers in the world. There was no way of knowing for Payton, she could only believe in her beliefs. She was hungry, but she knew she had to wait and had to behave if she wanted to be fed.

The floor bords creaked as Payton adjusted her stance, she cringed at the sound. Mother didn’t react act first which was odd, it was 6:25 in the morning, she wasn’t supposed to be out of her bedroom without permission, and sometimes that means days on end without any contact what’s so ever. She looked behind into the bedroom she shares with her brother; it startled Payton to see that her brother was wide awake and starting at her as if death was upon him. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, they could never tell. Jace waved his hands at her trying to send a message. Payton stared back at him wondering what the hell he was trying to say. Jace looked back at her with an empty expression on his face, he shook his head slightly before resting it back on the pillow. He kept his eyes wide open. Payton ignored him and turned back around only to face her mother standing two feet from her with eyes staring back into hers. Payton’s heart dropped and stumbled back a few steps before realising where she was and what she was doing.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’ll go to bed and won’t ever come out.” She huddled into a ball and swung her hands around her head as if she were expecting to be beat. But nothing happened. She opened her eyes and lowered her arms just enough to see her mother who was still standing at the doorway, she had no expression on her face, her eyes were bagged heavily and her wrinkled sagged down her face. She tapped her cigarette with her thumb sending the aches falling on the lino flooring.

“Don’t let it happen again.” She grabbed the door handle and swung it shut. The whole room shivered. Payton could hear her mother locking the door from the outside and walking away, probably to light a second cigarette. Payton took a moment to catch her breath before Jace whacked her on the back of the head.

“Idiot!” He whispered harshly, “What were you thinking? You want to get beaten, do you?”

“I’m sorry,” was all that Payton could manage to say. She wasn’t sure what she had done or what she had gotten herself and her brother into. She crawled over to her side of the mattress and pulled up one of the blankets for warmth. It was the middle of winter and was raining outside; the only way she knew that was the sound of clean water droplets landing on the tin roof. There were no windows in their room. They have never had windows, even when they upgraded from the basement to the bedroom. They both slept on a double mattress on the floor, and they were certain the mattress was closer to death than being store bought.

“You do realise that when you get yourself int trouble, that means you drag me into it too?”

Payton didn’t answer at first. I just wanted to leave, she thought, I hate it here. She rolled onto her side to avoid any conversation with Jace. She didn’t want to talk right now. She just wanted to sleep. It had been days since she could sleep, she was exhausted, in pain, hungry, and sleep deprived. But that was normal, to them at least.

Payton didn’t even know she had fallen asleep until she was jolted awake by her brother. He vigorously shook her shoulders until she basically fell off the mattress. It took a moment for her eyes to focus and understand what was going on.

“Payton, wake up!” Jace wasn’t even trying to be quiet.

“Shh! Shut the hell up or they are going to come in here again!”

“Payton, it’s 9am.” He stood up, he was dressed in his usual filthy clothes that were too small for him and covered in what we call is dry mud. Payton wasn’t wearing anything much better, except her clothes fit better. “We’re getting a bath!”

It had been weeks since they had bathed, they were barely allowed to leave the bedroom. Payton had groomed herself the best she could for when her father returns from work. She didn’t know what he did. We weren’t allowed to ask questions. About anything. Payton and Jace stood in front of their bedroom door with their hands by their sides. They stood in similar height, Jace was a few inches taller, but he was two years older after all. He was a handsome 16-year-old, too bad it didn’t matter since they never left the house, or even talked to other people their age. Or any age.

Their father had returned home. He rattled the door handle as he unlocked it before stepping inside. His boots were covered thick in mud, as was the rest of him. He wore black work pants and a thick black hoodie, he was filthy. He closed the door and locked in behind him. Their mother stood further than they did, she was scared. They all were.

He looked directly at Payton first, then at Jace. They tried their hardest not to make any eye contact or sudden movements. They stood in fear silently. Their father slowly made his way towards them, their mother whimpered slightly at his first step. He stopped about a foot away from Payton and Jace, he was an emotionless man who showed no mercy. He lifted his hand and swung it at Jace, sending him falling to the ground with a thud. Payton tried to hold her ground but struggled, it was the most heartbreaking situation to witness. Jace coughed a dry, painful cough before clumsily making his way up, he used the wall to support him.

“You reek, get to the hose.” He spat at them.

The hose wasn’t as good as a bath, but it was still an amazing feeling. Payton and Jace made their way to the back yard. They had no neighbours, they lived out of town where no one can see or hear them. But they still weren’t allowed out very often. The yard was grass-less and depressing. They stopped at the pavement directly outside the back door and began to undress. Their mother immediately retreated inside, but their father had followed them and watched as they undress themselves. The rain had stopped, making the usually dry dirt, slopped with mud. They both placed their filthy clothes on a nearby chair. Their father pointed at their clothes.

“Them too.” He said. He went back inside and closed the back door. He looked at them through the window for a moment, ensuring that they have no tricks of escape. Which they didn’t, they had given up. Eventually he left the window and let Payton and Jace wash in peace. They both stood naked in the yard as they attach and turn on the hose, it gushed out with ice-cold water. Instantly they both cupped their hands around it and guzzled down as much water as they could handle, they were always so thirsty. Payton went first, she stood on the concrete as Jace held his thumb over the end of the hose to make a nice spray of water and held it to fall perfectly on Payton. She enjoyed the cold-water just as much as a hot bath would have been, the stench from weeks upon weeks without being washed had driven them both mad. She glided her hands around her body and watched the dirt and grime fall off onto the cement. She could even taste her own salty sweat as it came dripping off her face with the water.

“I missed this.” She said, “So much.” After several more minutes, it was time to swap. Payton begun to drip dry as she held the hose to spray on Jace.

“You know, we don’t have to live like this.” Jace said.

“Don’t talk to loud.”

“I’m serious.” He said, “As soon as they let their guard down, we can go.”

“Go where?” Payton doubted.

“Anywhere.”

“Not very convincing. We’ll die, or worse, we’ll get caught.”

“Yeah, but they aren’t our real parents.”

“Don’t care. They will find us. And do I have to tell you what happens next?” Jace was insane, there was not way they were able to just leave. Where will they go? How will they survive? Who is going to listen to them? If they get caught, they will pay for it. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how badly they will pay for it. Whatever is would be she knew it wasn’t going to be good.

“Hear me out.” He said, this should be good, Payton thought. “Next time we get a hose or something, I don’t know, just leave. And before you say anything, think about it. They aren’t out here right, now are they? By the time they realise we would be long gone. Just imagine what life beyond this hell house is like!” Payton did think about it. She looked around their home, they were in the middle of nowhere. There were paddocks running to the horizon on one end, but on the other was scrub land. I guess is won’t be impossible. But there are still too many unknowns and too many risks.

“Okay, well, which way is town?”

Jace thought about this for a second. In the process, they saw their father approach the window, death staring the both of them. Payton quickly passed the hose to Jace as if she hadn’t already washed herself. They weren’t finished with this conversation yet. He soon walked away from the window and let them to be. They waited a moment before talking again to make sure he wasn’t listening in nearby. Jace spoke first.

“I’m assuming it’s that way.” He pointed opposite scrubland, it was all paddocks and road.

“How can you be sure?” Payton asked.

“I can’t be.” He replied, “But it’s a start.”

Jace turned off the hose and let Payton have first use of the towel. It was a dirty brown colour that they assumed was once white. They dried themselves and got dressed before heading back inside – they knew the rules, straight after their wash they hide themselves straight into their room. Jace walked ahead while Payton followed, that’s how they have been told to walk when they are let out, they had done it religiously by now.

They were stopped in their tracks as they turned the corner from the laundry to the hallway, it was their father, he was had opened the basement door and, in his arms, he held a woman. A scared woman. Her mouth was covered with duct tape that wrapped around the back of her head, her hands tied up behind her back and her eyes begged for help.

Jace and Payton didn’t hear their father yell at them to start with. Their hearing had gone completely numb with the horror and shock of seeing another person in their home. Payton never thought she would see the day, another person. But what was she doing here? And why was she tied up? The pieces started to fall into place, but still too many questions that they weren’t allowed to ask. The woman had blonde hair. It was long too, and clean, as clean as Payton had ever had hers. She was older that Payton, older than Jace as well. But still far too young to be trapped in a dirty, stinking, torturing place like this. Payton wanted freedom herself, but she emphasised for this stranger more. She had no idea what she was getting into.

It wasn’t until their father had thrown the woman into the basement and charged towards Payton and Jace before they realised that they needed to pay for hat they saw. It wasn’t their fault, but they still had to pay. Payton screamed when he grabbed her by the arm and beat her, again and again until she could barely feel the punches anymore. She bled, a lot, and so did Jace. They were thrown back into their rooms where they wept in their own blood. They had to use their only pillowcase to wipe their faces and bodies. I only just got cleaned, Payton thought.

They lay motionless in their rooms for god knows how long. Minutes? Hours? Days? They had no idea. Payton couldn’t sleep, he had hit her in the collarbone too many times, she believed it may have been broken. She was in extreme pain and there was nothing she could do about it. After some time, Jace managed to speak. His voice was croaky from weeping and quiet from trauma.

“Payton?” He said.

“Yeah, Jace?” She replied.

“We aren’t the only ones here.”